


Forever Yours

by PoetrytoProse



Category: Political RPF - US 21st c.
Genre: F/M, alternative universe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-04
Updated: 2018-05-28
Packaged: 2019-03-13 13:42:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 55,998
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13571757
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PoetrytoProse/pseuds/PoetrytoProse
Summary: Bill and Hillary grew up together. He was their stable boy, and she was the daughter of his master. But as they grew up Bill and Hillary had fallen in love with each other. Until one day, Bill had left the estate without saying goodbye leaving a confused and broken-hearted, Hillary.Time went by and Hillary had moved on and was ready to marry her fiancé, until one day, Bill arrived on her doorstep as a successful politician. He was ready to pick up what they have lost and court her to be his First Lady before the election starts for Governor in Arkansas.Torn between her past and her present, Hillary will make the ultimate choice that will forever change her life.





	1. Chapter 1

**Rodham Estates, 1966**  
  
Hillary just celebrated her 18th birthday. As usual, her parents had thrown a big party for her. While she was happy to be celebrating her birthday with her family and cousins, her birthday did not feel complete without Bill. She had been trying to get a glimpse of him early in the morning but failed. But she was able to see him while she was with her cousins on their way to the market. However, what she saw there made her heart tightened, she saw Bill flirting with Beth, the baker’s daughter. She saw him playfully gave the girl a peck.  
  
Hillary turned her head away and continued walking silently beside her cousins, while a part of her was seething inside. So he did not come to her birthday party to flirt with someone else? She thought. How could he? How could he choose to flirt with someone else than greet her on her birthday? She told herself that she wouldn't be talking to him again.  
  
Bill was not able to attend Hillary’s birthday because the stable master had given him a task to clean the stables and replace the horses’ shoes. While he wasn't really happy with how it turned it, he thought he would just make it up to her later that night.  
  
It was already past ten o'clock when he went to stand below Hillary's balcony. He looked up and saw a faint light on. He knew that she was still awake. He looked at the support column, then climbed up, he curled his long fingers around the ironwork of her balcony, and hung suspended for a moment before swinging his legs up with a grunt of effort.  
  
He looked around before he cupped both of his hands on her glass door peering inside, and there he saw her, wearing a white cotton dress, brushing her golden hair. The sight had given him so much pleasure spreading on his chest.  
  
Hillary Rodham, the only daughter of his master. She was kind, warm, smart, and beautiful in all ways. Her parents had allowed Hillary so much freedom to wander around the estate, so when Bill brought in the estate when he was six years old, he and Hillary were inseparable.  
  
The people did not mind their friendship, and because they were children, no one really stopped them from being close. But over time, things changed, their seemingly close friendship had grown deeper.  
  
Hillary continued to brush her hair, while Bill watched from outside. The light played shadow on her body giving him a glimpse of her curves. He smiled, thinking about his girl transitioning to become a woman. He knocked softly making her turn. She glared at him, then turned around again.  
  
Bill gripped the handle of her glass door and started rattling them knowing fully well that if he was caught in her bedroom, he would probably be whipped. That trick worked. Hillary went to open the door fearing that someone might hear them.  
  
“Go away, Bill!” She hissed.  
  
“What did I do?” He asked.  
  
Hillary shook her head and crossed her arms over her chest walking away from him. Bill watched the soft sway of her hips, and his fingers itched to grip them. But instead of doing the direction of his thought, he picked something from his chest pocket. A small lemon square cake on a small box, then he took out a small candle, stuck them on, and finally lit the candle.  
  
“Happy birthday, Hilly!” He greeted above a whisper.  
  
Hillary turned to him still glaring. “How dare you come here when you preferred someone else’s company than mine?”  
  
Bill furrowed his brows, “What?”  
  
Hillary walked closer to him. “I saw you on the market!” She accused.  
  
Bill still had that confusion on his face not getting what had upset her, yes, he went to the market to buy something but how could that make her angry?  
  
Hillary understood that Bill couldn't get what she was talking about, she placed her hands on her hips and angrily reminded him of what happened: “I saw you kissed someone in the market!”  
  
“Oh!” Bill responded, finally remembering what happened.  
  
Yes, he kissed the baker’s daughter when she gave him a free lemon square that he asked for so he could give it to Hillary.  
  
Bill laughed softly, and Hillary hit his arm. “What’s funny?” She asked furiously.  
  
“I kissed her because she gave me this free lemon cake.”  
  
Hillary frowned, “I don't want it then.”  
  
Bill held out the cake, “I’m sorry, but I really just don’t have any money. I told Beth about it, then she told me I can have the lemon square, so here it is.”  
  
Hillary wasn’t appeased, but looking at Bill’s puppy blue eyes made her soft. She had always been weak when it comes to Bill.  
  
Hillary sighed and nodded, making him smile. She leaned and was about to blow the candle, but Bill stopped her and said, “Say a wish first, Hilly!”  
  
Hillary looked at his deep blue eyes, and suggested, “Why don’t we both say a wish?”  
  
“But it’s not my birthday.”  
  
Hillary shrugged. “It’s okay, doesn’t really matter.”  
  
“Alright,” he said, closing his eyes. Hillary closed her eyes as well, then after a while, she opened and blew the candles.  
  
“Happy Birthday, Hillary.” He greeted. He reached for her hand and said, "Let's sit by the floor while you eat your cake."  
  
Bill helped her down, then they both sat on the floor just next to Hillary’s bed, both of them looking at the dark horizon outside her balcony. He tore the bread and gave her a piece. Hillary smiled and started nibbling it. "Thank you for the cake, Billy."  
  
Bill smiled gently, "Next time, I'll get you a better cake."  
  
Hillary nodded, then leaned her head on his shoulder while still nibbling the cake. “What did you wish for, Billy?”  
  
Bill took a deep breath, “Mrs. Fields finally told me that my mother lives in Arkansas, so I wish one day I can see her.”  
  
Hillary turned to look at him surprised, “You’ll leave then?”  
  
Bill shook his head, “Not now, maybe one day.”  
  
Hillary nodded and said, “Okay, let me know, I’ll come with you.”  
  
Bill turned his head sharply to look at her, “You cannot come with me.”  
  
“Why not?”  
  
“You belong here. You have a great life ahead of you, Hillary.”  
  
“No, I belong with you.”  
  
“Hillary—”  
  
Hillary stood up, “Take me with you, Bill. It will be fun. We can find your mother.”  
  
Bill looked at her and stood, “This is not a game, Hillary. You know that I cannot take you with me.”  
  
Hillary stomped her feet, “No, I’m coming with you.”  
  
Bill placed the rest of her cake on the nearby table, then he turned to her. “If I take you with me, your father will find out, do you want me to go to jail?”  
  
"No, I don't."  
  
"Then you behave and stay here."  
  
Hillary turned her head to the side. “Let’s not talk about it.” She said dismissively. She sat on the edge of her bed and then tapped the space beside her. Bill sat.  
  
“Do you know what’s my wish, Bill?”  
  
“No.”  
  
Hillary crawled her hand on his arm making the hairs on the back of his neck stood up. She reached his fingers then intertwined them. “I want to be your wife someday, Billy.”  
  
The statement felt like a lightning that struck Bill. He stood up dislodging their hands. He brushed his fingers through his hair.  
  
“Jesus, did you just hear what you said?”  
  
Hillary stood up and hurriedly went to him, she placed both of her palms against his chest making him flinch but he relaxed. “I know what I said, Bill.”  
  
“You sounded crazy,” Bill whispered, his eyes gentle. Hillary his wife! What a sweet dream, but it would never happen.  
  
“You can’t be my wife,” he said sadly holding her arm.  
  
Hillary’s eyes turned clear and glassy. She had thought about it before and while she knew that her father was arranging her marriage with another estate owner’s son, Jack Dorsey, she knew that her heart would always belong to Bill.  
  
Hillary softly laid her head on his chest. “Hold me, Bill,” she whispered.  
  
Bill closed his eyes fighting the urge to do more. He had been in love with her, but having her to hope that one day they would be together was torture, just as what she was doing right then.  
  
It would make more sense if he would just leave.  
  
Bill felt his throat closed by the thought alone that one day they would separate. But he had to, he had to leave so he could get a better job, so one day if he returned to the estate he would already have a money so they could build a life together.  
  
He just couldn't say it to Hillary. He felt that if he shared his plans with her, she wouldn't agree, worst, she would come with him.  
  
“Why won’t you hold me, Bill?” She asked turning to look at him.  
  
How could he deny her of that? But they couldn't continue being that close because they would end up getting hurt.  
  
He sighed, he would one day leave, but for that night, he had her. He reluctantly did what she asked him to do, he slowly wrapped his arms around her. “We have to stop doing this, Hillary. If you continue to tell me to do such thing, I will leave.”  
  
“Why?” She asked pulling back to look at him.  
  
“Because you’re making it hard for me!”  
  
Hillary stepped out from his embrace. “Okay, I’ll stop.”  
  
Bill smiled and exhaled. “Great. I won't stay now. I’ll have to go back to the stables.”  
  
Hillary nodded, “let me fix your hair first.”  
  
Bill would have told her that she didn't have to, but out of habit, he gave in. He leaned and Hillary took the opportunity to stand on tiptoes and caught his lips with hers.  
  
The first touch of their lips was like no other. While Bill was no longer a virgin and had a fair share of kissing, there was no comparison to Hillary’s innocent determined kissing. And he had been waiting for that, for years since he had grown into a man, he had fantasized about kissing her, of making her pant for him, to have her, but he never entertained the thought because he wasn’t that selfish. He wanted Hillary to have the best life even if it did not include him.  
  
But that night, he wanted to live in his fantasy.  
  
Hillary framed his face to continue kissing him, the soft plump of her lips opening under his, he groaned at the back of his throat as their tongues touched but when she reached for his hand and placed it atop her chest, Bill pulled back.  
  
“Christ! Stop!” Bill snapped, his chest heaving, and Hillary went to him. “I want you, Bill. I love you.”  
  
Bill moved back, “If you say that word again, I’ll leave, Hillary. I swear to God.”  
  
Her lips quivered. “I can no longer pretend that I don’t because I do. I loved you ever since—”  
  
Bill captured the rest of her words, feeling his heartbreak of wanting but never having then he pulled back. “Don't say that, okay?”  
  
She nodded. “Okay, okay, please don't leave.”  
  
He nodded, he dropped a chaste kiss on her forehead. “I have to go now, Hilly. I don't think I can last long being in the same room with you. Sleep well.”  
  
She nodded taking him back to her balcony. “Good night, Billy. I’ll see you tomorrow by the river.”  
  
“See you there!”

  
  
#####

  
Hillary watched Bill go down from her balcony, and until he started walking back to the stables. When she could no longer see him, she turned around and flopped back on her bed. She rubbed her lips with her fingertips. His lips had been hot, and he tasted like apples probably something he had for dinner. She had imagined many times how their kiss would be, but nothing had prepared her for how sensual it was, and how it took her breath away.  
  
She had wanted Bill to notice her more than as a friend and she was glad that she had accomplished the task. She felt his restraints loosened when her tongue touched his. She touched her chest because she knew that they were heading towards an ending that seemed not too promising, and both of them would just end up being frustrated and broken by their situation. However, Hillary had prepared herself, she would leave the estate and join Bill wherever he decided to go. They could live together in a small house. She could work, and she knew that he was a very responsible and hardworking man. They could survive as long as they were together.  
  
But then she thought about her mother, her loving and gentle mother. She would be heartbroken if she found out that Hillary ran away with their stable boy. If only Bill was born in the same cut of cloth as she was, it wouldn’t be a problem. It was unfair that he had started out with such disadvantages. He was smart, handsome, and hardworking but he would never be welcomed in the upper class. He was an outsider and would remain as such even if he worked hard.  
  
She turned to her side remembering the first time he was brought to the Rodham Estates. He was a small boy with an uneven bowl haircut. His hair was dark brown, it was so dark she thought that it was black, and his eyes so blue that she thought she could drown on it.  
  
According to the servants’ gossip, Billy was given to the village girl by his mother because of his abusive father. The village girl didn’t want to take Billy and had instead brought him to the Rodham Estate. He was initially employed as a hall boy cleaning the house, cleaning the servants and masters' shoes, and then later worked as a stable boy giving water to the horses and walking them for an exercise.  
  
They were told that his name was William Jefferson Clinton, and Mrs. Fields took Billy under her care. She was the closest thing to a parent that Bill had ever known. She would be the one to dismiss Bill from his duties so he could play with Hillary. But one day, Mrs. Fields told Hillary to protect him saying:  "He no longer has a family, Hillary. He has no clothing, no money, no home and no one will care for him, so I need your help. You must protect him or we would never see him again."  
  
And Hillary took her role seriously. If Bill would do some mischief, broke something, Hillary would admit that it was her fault. She had protected Billy fearing that he would be booted out of their estate.  
  
In return, Bill had taught her to swim, to climb trees, and to ride a horse. She also taught him to read, to write, and to dream. There were things that Hillary did to save Bill, in fact, if not for her urging, her father would not send Bill to school.  
  
Everyone thought that what she felt for Bill resembled like the one that she had with her brothers, but that was so far from the truth because Bill was her match. He was her compass, her home, and her Northern Star.  
  
It had been only natural that when she developed into a young woman, she would become physically attracted to him. Well, every female in the Rodham Estate was attracted to him. Bill had grown into a tall, toned man with striking looks. Although, far from perfect, he possessed a relaxed charm and a sense of humor that made him a favorite in the estate and in the village.  
  
Hillary’s love for him made her want to do the impossible, to be with him always, to be the family that he never had.  
  
She sighed. She knew that her father would be firm to keep the tradition, and that was to keep the money running by marrying in an arrangement with another rich family. He wouldn’t allow Hillary to marry someone like Bill, she thought gloomily.  
  
What would make the whole scenario worst, was the thought that while she was married to someone else, Bill would be married to someone else too who would share his thoughts and dreams.  
  
“Oh, my God,” Hillary groaned turning around to press her face against the pillow, then she turned again looking at the canopy overhead. “What am I going to do?” She asked. How could she keep Bill in her life?  
  
She thought she could keep him as his lover since having an affair in the upper classes were common, but then, she groaned, thinking that Bill would not agree to such arrangement because he was a man with pride.  
  
She pressed the heel of her hands against her eyes because she couldn’t find an answer. She thought that she would wait for fate to reveal itself and while they had each other, she would steal every moment to be with him until fate itself would pulls them apart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (ʘ言ʘ╬) back in writing! I hope you enjoy the first chapter. I try not to make this look like Always. (╭ರ_⊙) LOLOLOLOLOL.  
> Forever thanking my friend @theClingtons for helping me with this one. (ღ˘⌣˘ღ)
> 
> Hope to hear your thoughts. (人･㉨･)♡ I missed you all! I hope you missed my Jemoticons. ƪ(♥ﻬ♥)ʃ( ˘ ³˘)
> 
> Will update once a week. Sunday next week.


	2. Chapter 2

Bill and Hillary tried to steal moments as much as they can. Their usual meeting place was the old oak tree just near the river. In that place, they were secluded and couldn't be seen from the estate, Hillary would spread the blanket on the ground and would bring as much as food from the pantry so they could have their dinner there before the sunset after Bill’s work at the stables.  
  
Hillary was reading her book when Bill arrived. She turned her head around after hearing a wood break as he stepped on it. She smiled looking at him. He wore a frayed blue checkered shirt over a white t-shirt. He walked up to her taking off that checkered shirt that was clinging to his torso because of sweat. Hillary stood up and met him halfway.  
  
“Let me,” she said upon reaching him, helping him out of his shirt.  
  
“You’re so sweaty!” She chided.  
  
Bill smiled. He worked for the past few hours cleaning the stables. He did not bother to change a shirt or take a shower when he finished thinking that Hillary was already waiting for him.  
  
“I’m sorry, but I thought you’d be waiting for me already,” he said carefully spreading the shirt to hung on a bark to dry.  
  
Hillary nodded, then she went back to her basket to grab a towel and started to wipe his sweat.  
  
Bill smiled amusedly. “Taking care of me now, huh?”  
  
Hillary looked at him sincerely and said, “I don't want you to get sick.”  
  
Bill’s eyes gentled remembering too well how she took care of him when he was sick back when he was fifteen years old. When Hillary learned that he had a fever, she immediately went to his room at the stable. She found there shivering on his cot. She urged her father to send a doctor. While Bill tried to recuperate, Hillary never left his side. She brought him broth, wiped his sweat until her father told her that they would be sending someone to take care of him because he did not approve of her to be the one taking care of their servant. But still, Hillary tried to sneak out of her bedroom, climbing out of her balcony just as how she watched Bill climb going to her bedroom. She climbed down on her white sleeping cotton gown and ran to the stables so she could sleep next to him.  
  
Bill saw the slight blush that had appeared on Hillary’s cheek as she continued patting his sweat. He sighed. She was so darn beautiful even with her huge thick glasses. He had the urge to lean and kiss her, to make her body soft and pliant under him, but he couldn't do that, not when she was reserved to be someone else’s wife.  
  
Bill reached to tuck her stray hair behind her ear, “Let’s eat, Hilly.”  
  
He reached to hold her hand and until they had intertwined their fingers. They walked in silence and he helped Hillary sat down next to him.  
  
“What do we have?” Bill asked looking at the basket trying to stifle the urge to start digging into the basket. He was hungry as hell.  
  
“I brought you a ham sandwich, mashed potatoes, and some fried chicken.”  
  
Bill smiled and started portioning the food. “What are you having?” He asked.  
  
“Just the ham sandwich,” Hillary responded.  
  
After Bill gave Hillary her the sandwich, he took out the fried chicken and mashed potato and started wolfing down on his food. She smiled looking at him thinking how hard he might have worked to be that hungry. She reached out to wipe the stain on the side of his mouth.  
  
“Thank you, Darling,” Bill said unconsciously.  
  
Hillary felt a great pleasure spreading on her chest when Bill called her his darling, could it be that he was starting to allow himself to show his feelings for her? To begin with, Hillary knew that Bill felt something for her too but chose not to act on it because he did not want to ruin her for her future husband (to her disappointment). If Hillary could choose, she wanted to lose her virginity to him.  
  
She sighed, and it caught Bill’s attention making him turn to her. “What’s wrong?” He asked.  
  
Hillary shook her head, “nothing.”  
  
When they finished eating and had cleaned up, Bill stretched his long lanky body and propped himself on one elbow. He tapped the space beside him. “Come here, Hilly,” he invited.  
  
Hillary scooted closer and laid on her side looking at him. Bill reached her strayed hair with his free hand and tucked it behind her ear. “You are so beautiful, Hillary.”  
  
Hillary smiled gently and reached to touch his cheek, “Kiss me, Billy.”  
  
Bill’s body stiffened as his face straightened. “I can’t.”  
  
“Why not?”  
  
“Because I don’t think of you that way…”  
  
“Why not? Josh tried to corner and attempt to kiss me just earlier.”  
  
“That snot! I’ll break his nose if I see him!” Bill exclaimed out of jealousy, his face contorted with anger.  
  
“What makes it different? One day someone would claim me, just as what my father intended to marry me off…” Her voice trailed off when she added in misery, “Imagine how difficult it would be to know that I am sleeping with someone and that someone else is holding me, something you can’t do.”  
  
Bill made a growling sound and rolled over her so suddenly trapping her between the blanket and the hard plane of his body, he settled deeper that Hillary cradled him on the V of her legs.  
  
“I would kill him!” He said harshly. “I couldn't bear it!”  
  
He glared into her eyes which was glaring back at him, they were both angry at each other. He for their circumstances, and she for his resolve not to take her as his. But his anger was immediately clouded when his eyes dropped to her flushed throat and saw the rapid movement of her chest.  
  
Hillary saw the bank of fire in his gaze, so she tried to fan it by saying boldly: “Then claim me, make me yours, Billy.”  
  
“I can’t,” Bill rasped as if the words itself was so hard to say.  
  
Hillary encircled her arms around his neck keeping him in place. “Why won’t you love me, Bill?” She sniffed, feeling frustrated.  
  
Bill dropped his forehead against hers, “I wanted to, Hillary. God, I wanted to, but I don't want to ruin you.”  
  
Hillary shook her head, “You won’t.”  
  
“What will you tell your husband when he finds out that you have already slept with someone?”  
  
“I won’t marry anyone if it's not you.”  
  
Bill touched the side of her face. “Don’t say something that you do not intend to keep.”  
  
Hillary shook her head and pulled him down until they were embracing. “I intend to keep that one. I love you, Bill.”  
  
Bill pulled back to look at her face, he saw her cheek had a trail of  her tears. “Why are you crying, Hilly?”  
  
Hillary glared at him again, her eyes becoming blurry with the tears that were collecting on them. “Because you are an idiot! And I hate that I love you so much!”  
  
Bill rubbed the tip of his nose against hers. He was smiling, pleased for what she felt for him. “Don’t ever change, Hilly. I cannot stand it if someone replaced me in your heart.”  
  
“Kiss me, Bill.” She pleaded.  
  
Bill felt that soft tug in his heart, then his eyes softened while looking at Hillary. He leaned and brushed his lips against hers. It was gentle at first until he felt Hillary’s tongue prying. Her sweet innocent determination undid him, Bill groaned and allowed his lips to part, meeting her tongue with his. The kiss exploded sending sparks of pleasure running through his veins.  
  
“Hillary,” he groaned as he continued to seize her mouth in a soft, deep kiss. Hillary moaned in satisfaction. She let her hands crawl at the back of his head to keep him in place, then slowly ran them down and slid her hand under his shirt and over his back, feeling the flexing of his muscle and the sleekness of his skin.  
  
Hillary could feel him hard against her thighs-aroused and she felt a delicious ache in between her legs.  
  
She wanted him, and she was ready to take him. However, when Hillary started grinding her hips against his, Bill hissed and rolled away from her. He touched the back of his hand against his forehead and and placed his hand on top of his chest feeling the trip-hammering of his heart.  
  
“What’s wrong?” Hillary asked worried.  
  
“We have to stop. I have a little control as it is.”  
  
Hillary shook her head, “But it’s okay, Bill. I want you.”  
  
Bill rolled up. “I know, and I want you too, but you have to understand that we are still young and I have so much respect for you to take you here underneath the tree.”  
  
Hillary nodded, and instead, scooted next to him. “Promise that you’ll love me best.”  
  
Bill chuckled, “Aren’t you selfish?”  
  
Hillary’s face straightened. “I am serious, Bill.”  
  
Bill looked at her and noticed that Hillary was serious indeed, so he reached for her hand and kissed the center of her palm. “I’m all yours, Hillary.”  
  
Hillary sighed, satisfied at the moment but she couldn't get the sinking feeling of knowing that one day they would part. She did not want to think about it then, but somehow, it nagged at the back of her head. She knew that she wouldn't be able to keep Bill.  
  
When they returned back to the stables, they maintained a decent distance not wanting to allow the people think that they just spent time kissing and almost fondling each other.  
  
When they reached the grounds, Bill was then approached by his stable master, Mr. Fields.  
  
"Billy, son, Mrs. Grant wants to see you at the Library. She said she wanted to have a word with you before she leaves."  
  
Bill stiffened, and Hillary immediately saw his reaction. She wondered what was up.  
  
Bill's face hardened and nodded. "I'll go there."  
  
Hillary turned to him, "What's wrong?"  
  
Bill shook his head, "Nothing, Hillary. I'll have to go and see Mrs. Grant."  
  
Bill tucked in his dried checkered shirt and made his way toward the library. Mrs. Grant was one of Mrs. Rodham's widowed rich friend. She used to spend time at the estate and when she tried to amuse herself riding the horse, she would specifically ask for Bill to assist her. At first, Bill was pleased to be chosen by the widow, because she was a nice, beautiful, and had a real great buxom body. She would also give him a hefty tip after the ride. Some of the workers at the estate were jealous of the attention that Bill was getting from the rich widow. However, when he reached his seventeen years of age, he felt uncomfortable by how Mrs. Grant would approach him. Though she had never taken advantage of him (yet), there was something different by how she touched and how she stared openly at him.  
  
When Bill reached the library, he found her there standing next to the shelf scanning the spines of the book, and he cleared his throat.  
  
"Good-evenin', Ma'am."  
  
She turned around and smiled at him. "Hello, Bill," she greeted.  
  
Bill shifted on his stand as Mrs. Grant walked up at him. "I've asked Hugh if I can have a word with you before I go." She waited for him to say something, but when he didn't, she continued. "Hugh told me that he had a lot of workers already and I asked him if I can hire you to work on my estate instead."  
  
Bill was surprised, but he kept his face straight not showing any emotion.  
  
"I'll pay you thrice of what you are getting here, and even make you work little, even get you a room of your own." Her voice trailed. "Hugh also told me that you are studying, and you can continue that when you accept my offer. What do you think, Bill?"  
  
It was Bill's ticket to earn more and probably get a better life than what he was getting at the Rodham Estate. But the way Mrs. Grant's eyes looked at him, he knew that it was more than that. Thinking about it, he was no longer a virgin and he could definitely live like a Prince in her estate, then if he was able to save enough, he could leave her and make his own fortune so he could properly court and win Hillary.  
  
However, if he did that, he would break Hillary's heart.  
  
"If you want, Mrs. Grant, I can work for you during the day along with Thomas and pay me extra, but I'll be staying here."  
  
Mrs. Grant shook his head, "I want you to stay at my mansion, Bill."  
  
When Mrs. Grant felt that Bill would reject her offer, she reached for his wrist and said, "I'll give you everything you want, Bill. Everything you need. Think about it. Get a life you wanted. Just stay on my estate."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ヾ(＾∇＾) Thank you all for your support. Sorry for the errors. I have no beta. I hope you like the update. I know it's quite fast paced. This childhood phase is a short one. Anyway, I hope to hear your thoughts. Thank you! :)
> 
> P.S: This fic is really different from my other fanfic. This might be a little dark.


	3. Chapter 3

“Anything you want, Bill.” Mrs. Grant reiterated.

Bill’s eyes dropped to Mrs. Grant’s hand on his wrist then back to her eyes. He saw some plea on them. Admittedly, Mrs. Grant was a nice woman. She had never done anything bad to him although her desire for him had always been evident.

Maybe, she was just lonely.

But the only thing that was holding Bill back was Hillary, that and the pain that it would cause her. He pulled back his wrist, making Mrs. Grant loosen her hold until she let go of him.

“I am so sorry Mrs. Grant but I cannot accept your offer. Good evening and take care on your way home.”

Bill turned around intending to leave her so he could forget her offer, particularly the things that he needed in order to marry Hillary. He took a step, but then stopped when Mrs. Grant spoke again.

“I know about your mother, Bill.”

Bill felt the hair on the back of his neck stood up.

His mother.

The person he had been looking for, to ask questions that continued to haunt him to that very day.

He turned and looked at Mrs. Grant. She shifted on her stand. It was her trump card. Her only way to get him.

“What do you know about my mother?” Bill asked.

“She lives in Arkansas.”

“What else?”

“I’m afraid I cannot tell you that,” She said, then Bill saw her swallow when she added, “I told you, I’ll give you everything you need even the information about your mother. Stay with me.”

Bill clenched his hands thinking. Could he really join Mrs. Grant? More importantly, could he stomach staying there? To think about it, he had been working for the Rodhams for the good past nineteen years and he never got above his position. He did not even earn anything because his salary was used to pay for his education. He knew that he had no future by staying at the Rodhams. Yet he stayed there for Hillary. And if he continued to do so, his unanswered past would still be unanswered, and his future would still remain as bleak and far from his reach.

That offer would be a ticket for him to all of that problem.

But taking that offer would hurt Hillary.

Bill felt his throat closing and his eyes turning misty. He would hurt Hillary and that was for sure if he had accepted her offer. He could not tell her his reasons because he knew she wouldn’t agree to his plan or worst—come with him.

All of that: a temporary parting and pain so they could have a better future together and for him to fix his broken past.

He took a deep breath, his decision was final.

#####

Hillary was reading her book on her bed wearing her usual cotton white dress when she heard a feet landing on her balcony, then followed by a grunt.

She knew who it was even before Bill cupped his hands against the glass of the door. Her heart took a leap.

She hurriedly went to open it, and when it opened she pulled Bill for an embrace.

“What took you so long to get here?” Hillary said after embracing him, her nose crinkled smelling the horse manure on him.

Bill smiled sheepishly, “I had been trying to fix the heater so I could take a shower before I go here.”

“You mean you haven’t cleaned?” She asked horrified.

“I did clean,” Bill responded reaching the back of his head rubbing his hair. “But I couldn’t get the smell of the horse smell off me.”

She reached for his hand, “You can use the shower here.”

Bill’s eyes lightened. “Okay, I’ll join you in a while. I’ll just take a shower.”

Hillary nodded.

Hillary went back to her bed and listened to the shower in her bedroom started to run. She was curious as hell about him taking a shower. While she had seen Bill’s bare torso many times, it never titillated her because she did not yet have those intense feelings for him. But since she started to become a lady who was passionately in love with him, she couldn’t help but wonder.

She felt her cheeks heated. She wanted him, wanted to lay with him ever since they kissed. She had imagined him many times taking her. She ran her hand over her cheeks trying to cool it off.

She would do it. She would at least try to take her seduction further.

Bill got out of her comfort room with a towel wrapped around his waist, his hand rubbing his hair. Hillary came to him with a towel and started to wipe his torso. Bill smiled at her.

“Be careful, I might get used to you taking care of me,” He teased.

Hillary tip-toed and reached to rub the towel on his hair, but he was too tall for her, so she said, “come sit on the bed so I can dry your hair.”

Bill was glad that he had his briefs on, but even then, it did not make him want her less. In fact, as he sat on the edge of the bed, with her on his back drying his hair, he had to grip the edge of the mattress to contain himself. The tension between them had become palpable. It was thick in the air, and he, too knew that Hillary could feel it.

It was dangerous.

“I like your hair,” she whispered leaning to press her nose on his scalp. She giggled. “You used my shampoo.” She commented.

Bill laughed. “Now, I smell like you.”

Hillary was giggling softly when suddenly she placed an innocent kiss on the slope of his shoulder.

Bill stiffened, and he turned to her. “Darling…”

“Just once, Bill,” she said before she leaned and gently kissed him.

Hillary’s innocence and awkward kissing undid Bill. She was very determined to own him that she was willing to give him everything.

“I love you, Bill,” she said in between hurried kisses. “I love you, I think I would explode.”

Bill smiled and then moved her until she ended up sitting on his lap facing him. “Ssshh,” he cooed, sliding his hands underneath her jaw caressing her tense muscle there. He took over gentling the kiss until Hillary ended up moaning at the back of her throat.

She felt a heated pool in between her legs and started to grind her hips against his as her natural instinct took over. Bill slid his mouth on the column of her neck, his teeth slightly grazing her skin.

Hillary tipped her head as Bill slowly started popping the button on her night dress.

“Yes,” she breathed encouraging him to go on. Bill cupped her breast as he freed them from its confines. He ran his palms on her nipples until the tips hardened.

“It aches,” she said not understanding the pleasurable ache she felt in between her legs.

“I’ll help you,” Bill said turning her until she sat on his lap with her back against his front. “Hold your dress.” He instructed.

Bill kissed the side of her neck, reclining a little so she could lay comfortably on him. Hillary pulled her dress up until she felt the cold air against her thighs. Bill’s hand moved to caress her knee and feathered his hand up until he inserted his hand inside her underwear feeling thatch of curls there.

Bill groaned when he parted her feeling her slick juice coat his fingers. Hillary moved a little, angled her head to the side so they could kiss. He latched his mouth with hers, as Bill started to rub her hardened pearl. He circulated his finger in a consistent motion. He did it slowly until he felt Hillary started grinding her hips against his hand, her moan becoming louder, and her movements become jerky.

“Bill,” she breathed unlatching her mouth from his. She felt she was drowning, the pleasure was so great, she couldn’t explain it.

“Come for me, Darling,” Bill whispered watching her face, her mouth opening to release a moan, but when she reached it, she almost cried that Bill muffled it by capturing her mouth.

He continued to rub her until he felt her muscle spasmed. Her body stifling, her thighs tightening and then she relaxed with a sigh. She sagged against him. She reached to rub his cheek, as Bill leaned to kiss the space between her brows.

“You are so beautiful when you fell apart in my arms, Darling.”

Then he carried her to her bed. He wore his clean shirt and jeans and laid next to her. Hillary immediately cuddled with him, her head on his chest. “How about you, Billy?” She asked.

Bill reached for her hand and kissed it. “It’s okay, Darling. Maybe soon. Tonight it’s all about you.”

She nodded and pressed a lingering kiss to his chest as she settled and fall asleep on his arms.

Bill watched as Hillary fall asleep. Her hand curled under her chin. Her cheeks pink. Her mouth slightly parted. There was something so sweet in her, and he felt a pang of pain thinking that one day he would leave her.

He felt so miserable thinking about the pain that he would cause, but he swore he would make it up to her. He would return as a better man, who would be ready to make her his, and she would be proud to carry his name.

He reached to press a kiss on her forehead. “I love you too, Hillary. I love you more than I love my life.”

After few hours, Hillary stirred a little later when she heard some movement around her bedroom. She rolled up and saw Bill already ready to leave.

“It’s still early, Billy.”

Bill smiled and Hillary noticed that his smile did not reach his eyes.

“I have to go but I’ll see you later, sunset again?”

Hillary nodded. She hurriedly got out of the bed but before she could even place her foot on the ground Bill went to her.

“Don’t, go back to sleep, Darling.” He said leaning to drop a kiss on her forehead.

“Sleep tight.” He added cupping her cheek, Hillary leaned her cheek against his hand.

“You sleep tight too, Billy.”

#####

Bill already started working by five AM. He hardly even had any sleep. He started the day by giving water to the horses and preparing them for their usual morning run. After a while, he went to work with Mr. Fields to start collecting the wheat. It was only ten AM and Bill could feel the back of his neck burning by the heat of the sun.

“You are working too hard there, son,” Mr. Fields called. He took a momentary rest underneath a huge tree. “Have some apples here!”

Bill waved his hand. He had to get the work completed so he could join the afternoon class. He was not the kind of person who leaves his work behind. If there was something he learned in the Rodham Estate it was to strengthen his core values. It was something that Mrs. Fields taught him about. She told him, “Education will only get you far, but it’s your character that will bring you further in life.”

So Bill built his life to have integrity, to be respectful, resilient, industrious, honest, and kind. He also treated his work with respect and he never complained even how hard the work was, even if he wasn’t earning much.

When he finished his work, he immediately went his class. Mrs. Fields was nice to pack him a sandwich knowing that Bill would be in a hurry. Bill leaned and gave Mrs. Fields a kiss on her cheek.

After his class, and he was on his way to return to the Estate, Hillary’s brother Hugh caught up with him on his jeep that was driven by a chauffeur.

“Billy! Billy!” Hugh called.

Bill turned around and waved at Hugh.

“Are you heading home?” Hugh asked.

“Yeah,” Bill responded squinting at him. Bill had known Hugh since he was sent to the Estate. Hugh was the eldest brother of Hillary. Hugh resembled their father more.

“Why don’t you hop in, we’re heading there too.”

Bill rode the jeep and glad that he offered to save time. Bill actually like him, while they were not really friends, Hugh was friendly to Bill. But to say, Hugh treated each of the staff in their estate with respect.

“Are you seeing Hillary?” Hugh asked as soon as Bill settled next to him.

Bill looked at his hands, hoping his action not to give way to indicate that he almost slept with his sister. However, Bill knew that everyone in the Estate was familiar with his and Hillary's friendship.

“Yes, I am about to see her,” Bill said trying to make it sound casual.

Hugh did not respond and just nodded. Then after a while, he spoke again.

“I am not sure what’s your relationship with Hillary, but I know that you both had been really fond of each other.”

It was Bill’s turn not to speak. He did not even allow any muscle to move.

Hugh turned to him and raised an eyebrow waiting for Bill to deny it, but when he didn’t, he continued. “Hillary, as we speak, is with mother and father visiting the Dorseys.”

Hugh took a deep breath, “The Dorseys are very rich, Bill. Jack, their eldest son, would one day inherit their Estate.”

It was Bill’s turn to speak, “What’s your point, Hugh?”

Hugh looked at Bill taking the hint of annoyance in his tone. “My point here Bill is this, I am not sure what’s your business with my sister. I know both of you are very close. I am a man too. You both are nearing twenty. I am sure you feel something more than a childhood friendship with each other.”

Bill kept his face straight.

“I know my sister is happy with you. But you know we would not allow her to associate herself with someone below her. We are Rodhams after all. We cannot marry beneath us.”

Hugh waited for his message to sink in, then added with frankness. “If you want to win my sister you have to do something, or else, see her married off to someone.”

“Why are you trying to push me to your sister?”

Hugh sighed. “I love my sister. I’ve known you all my life. I trust you more than Jack Dorsey.”

“Are you telling me to leave?”

“I am telling you to do something to be deserving to win my sister’s hand.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please know that I appreciate all of your comments. ღゝ◡╹)ノ♡ I know that the first few chapters will be dragging, but I promise the upcoming one will be better. (⁎˃ᆺ˂)
> 
> I have no beta, so I am sorry for my errors. 
> 
> I would like to thank, TheClingtons. I owe you.


	4. Chapter 4

Bill arrived first on their spot, sat on the ground and looked at the river. The sun was almost gone and Hillary did not arrive yet, in the meantime he threw some pebbles while waiting for her, remembering what Hugh told him. 

Bill sighed, he understood their circumstances. They will not ever suit: he was a bastard, with no family, no money, how could he marry someone like her?

He would have pondered more but stopped when felt someone slid an arm over his shoulder pulling him into an embrace.

“Sorry, I am late,” Hillary whispered from behind dropping a kiss on his cheek.

Why did her excuse annoy him? Yeah, she was late in that moment but the next time they would see each other (and she would be married) she will tell him that  _ she was late because she was waiting for her husband to leav _ e, he thought in anger.

“Why are you frowning?” She asked worriedly, moving to sit beside him.

“Where have you been?” He asked trying to erase the frown from his face.

“I was with mom and dad,” she rubbed the hem of her dress. “We were at the Dorseys’.”

“Jack was there?” Bill asked.

“Of course he was” Hillary responded.

Bill looked at the river again trying to calm himself. “Why are you angry?” He heard her ask.

Bill shook his head, sounding like a fool, a man with a stung ego.

“I am not angry with you.” He said, his voice still had that edge in the tone. “I am angry with myself.”

Hillary reached to place her hand at the back of his neck, trying to pull him to her, but when Bill did not move, she stood up and went behind him and folded her arms around his neck.

“Don’t be angry with yourself, Bill.” She whispered, then she pressed a kiss on his neck. “It’s you that I love.”

Bill rubbed his hand on her arm. “I wish things were different, Hilly.” He leaned to kiss her skin. “I would do everything to be worthy of you.”

Hillary tightened her hold around him. “You don’t have to, you are enough for me. I love you, even without anything.”

Bill turned to look at her face and maneuvered her until she ended up sitting on his lap. “This is the most selfish thing, but I want you to promise me that no one would replace me in your heart.”

Hillary framed his face with her hands. “It’s only you.”

“Promise me,” he said firmly.

Hillary gazed at Bill’s face, his face determined. She understood that he wouldn’t let it go until he heard it from her. “I promise.”

Bill leaned to kiss her. “I promise to love only you. I am forever yours, Hillary.”

Hillary’s eyes blurred hearing those words from him then she leaned to kiss him.

When she pulled back, she gently held his face and kissed his cheeks, his eyes and his brows. “I am forever yours, too.”

Bill extracted something from his pocket and Hillary saw that it was his pocket knife. “Bill…” she said.

Bill took his hand, “What are you doing?” She asked.

Bill did not answer and she saw that he had inscribed her initials just a few inches below his thumb.

He bit his lips as he drew some blood by doing that.

“Stop,” Hillary whispered.

When Bill finished he took his handkerchief and pressed it on his wound. He gazed at her, “So I won’t forget this moment, this time.”

Hillary nodded understanding what he meant. “Can you?” She asked giving him her hand.

“I’ll be gentle.”

She turned her head away as Bill inscribed his initial at the same location. She bit her lip the same way to stifle the sound. When it was over, Bill pressed the handkerchief as well to stop the bleeding.

“I will marry you one day, Hillary. I just hope that you will wait for me.”

Hillary didn’t understand what he meant, but she nodded and hugged him. “I will.” She promised.

Later that night, after Bill had his dinner at the stables with Mr. Fields he sneaked up to the kitchen and found Mrs. Fields cleaning the pots. Bill immediately helped her.

“Oh, you don’t have to, Son” Bill felt his throat closing again thinking how he would miss Mrs. Fields who treated him like her very own.

“It’s okay, Ma’am,” he said carrying the pot that she used and bringing it to the nearest faucet to clean.

“Oh, don’t you do that, Bill! You are already overworked. I am sure you have better things to do, like studying.”

Bill chuckled. “I can study later. First, let me help you.”

“You hard headed horse,” Mrs. Fields chided smiling at him.

Finally Bill cleaned all the pots and gently placed them in the cabinet. When he was done he went to her and embraced her from behind. “I never said ‘thank you’, but thank you, Mrs. Fields.”

She turned to face him. “You don’t have to thank me, Billy. I love you like you are my own son.”

“And that’s what I am thanking you for.”

Bill smiled gently, his eyes becoming blurry with tears. “Why are you crying, Billy?”

He shook his head and held her. He remembered how many times she looked after him, tended his wounds, cleaned him up, taught him good values in life even though she lacked education. Bill often wished that she was his mother instead, so he wouldn’t wonder why his very own gave him away, leaving him to survive on his own. “I am just grateful.”

Bill touched her cheek and thought that if he managed to be successful and rich, he would buy to Mr. and Mrs. Fields a house and hire few household staff to help them.

He looked at her rich brown eyes and thought how much he would miss her, when he will leave before the sunrise.

“Well, I’ll be going now.” He said, but then Mrs. Fields reached for his hand and asked, “What are you planning, Bill?”

Bill looked at her but kept his face straight. “What do you mean?”

“I think you know what I mean…”

Bill didn’t speak and instead looked at the top of his shoes. “Good evening, Ma’am.” He said before leaving.

He was on his way to the stables back to his room to take a shower before heading to Hillary’s bedroom when he saw Mr. Fields under a tree puffing a cheroot.

“Good evening, Sir.” Bill greeted.

“Oye.” Mr. Fields greeted back turning to him. Mr. Fields was 50 something years old man with a bulky physique. He was wearing a leather jacket over his white shirt.

“Sorry for the cigar,” he said stomping on the cheroot.

Bill knew that Mr. Fields used to smoke every now and then but tried hard to hide it from Mrs. Fields because she did not want to see him smoking.

Bill stood next to him. They stared at the view ahead of them: the field that was illuminated by the silver light of the full moon.

“Can I?” Bill asked.

Mr. Fields looked at Bill and contemplated if it was wise giving the young man a cheroot, then he relented and said “Well, you are no longer a kid.” He handed him a stick. “But keep it one stick. Don’t smoke much, it’s bad for your health.”

Bill smiled and put the cheroot in between his lips cupped his hand while the other one held the lighter. Then he rolled the metal wheel down until he was able to light the cigar and began huffing and puffing it. Bill looked at the field again, thinking how things will change when the sun come up.

Mr. Fields watched him and felt that there was something different that night.

“What’s bothering you, Son?” Mr. Fields asked.

Bill turned to him and shook his head. “There’s nothing wrong.”

“You look tense.”

Bill shrugged.

“If there’s anything you want to tell me, you tell me alright?”

Bill looked at him, his own father figure. He remembered how Mr. Fields adjusted to take Bill under his wing. He was patient with him but firm, he was a father he never had. He nodded.

“Is it Hillary?” He asked.

Bill gave a deprecating laugh. “Am I obvious?”

“Not you.” Mr. Fields said, “but both of you are obvious.”

Bill smiled coyly.

“I know a man in love when I see one. Hillary was too obvious as well. She couldn’t keep her eyes from you and seems to always ask about you to me.”

Bill looked at him, and Mr. Fields understood that it was the right time for them to talk about love and relationship.

“Your friendship with Hillary might have been overlooked by others, but you can’t fool me and Linda,” he said referring to his wife—Mrs. Fields.

“We’ve been talking about you and Hillary both. She was afraid that one day Mr. Rodham might find out about your relationship and might get you kicked out. But as it seems, Mr. Rodham is too busy to even notice.”

Bill just listened, so Mr. Fields continued. “I’ve been like you once.” He sighed. “To be young and in love, it’s the most beautiful thing in this world.” He reached to touch Bill’s shoulder. “Love her, and love her best, so you won’t have any regrets, son.”

#####

Later that night when Bill managed to get into Hillary’s bedroom and he was sitting on the edge of the bed, he listened to Hillary tell him about what she saw in the town, a ballet performance. She tried to recreate it by twirling and gently dancing for him.

“And they twirled like this, Billy,” she said turning slowly, her hand still held a handkerchief as part of her performance for him.

Bill smiled watching her. Her hair curly and free, she was barefoot, and wearing her white cotton dress.  _ She was like a nymph _ , he thought. She could play around his heart, tease him, seduce him.

She halted. “Oh, my God, I remember I have something for you!”

She went to her vanity, pulled something out of the box, then went to him. She stood in between the space of his legs.

It was a necklace with a small rounded frame. She clasped it around his neck, then flattened the frame against the V of his neck. She slid her hands under his jaw to make him look at her.

“That’s mine, but I want you to have it. It has a picture of me.” She said.

Bill chuckled softly. “Want to be sure that the girls know that you are my Darling?” He teased reaching to touch her chin.

Hillary smiled. “Yes.”

Bill felt his heart took a somersault. She was breathtaking and he loved her so much. He wrapped his arms around her stomach gently pulled her to him. She leaned against him as she held her hand up to look her wound that was already healing.

The inscription was starting to show, WJC.

Bill aligned his hand next to hers showing his palm where his own wound was located.

Just like hers, his was also healing. It had her initials HDR.

Bill heard her sigh and said, “Forever mine. Forever thine—“

“Forever ours.” Bill completed both of them quoting Beethoven. Hillary turned to him then leaned to brush her lips against his. “Forever yours.”

Bill caught her lips with his, both of them knew that it was the time for them to finally consume their love.

######

Bill was attentive and gentle knowing that it was her first time. He prepared her by kissing and caressing her.

He made her body relax and then kissed every part of her, brought her to her climax with his mouth. 

Then when it was time for him to take her, he became cautious. 

He hovered above her, the veins in his arms popped from trying to keep himself from crushing her with his weight. Bill kept his eyes glued on hers as Hillary nodded. She was ready.

“It’s going to hurt,” Bill whispered.

Hillary could hear her heart trip hammering against her chest. She adjusted her legs so she could accommodate him more. Bill brushed her cheek, then kissed her.

“I’m sorry,” he said after a while, then suddenly he pushed forward making Hillary hiss, her body arching in a perfect bow as she felt a stabbing pain by the intrusion.

“I’m so sorry,” Bill repeated over and over as he kissed and caressed her. He also whispered to her how much he loved her. Then finally Hillary returned the kisses.

“Does it still hurt?” He asked.

Hillary placed a kiss on his shoulder. “It’s okay,” she reassured.

“I’ll make it good,” he said as he started to move in and out of her, finding rhythm until Hillary adjusted and the pain was replaced by the incredible sense of pleasure.

It went on and on until she reached her orgasm.

Bill continued to thrust in and out of her until she felt his moves become jerky and hurried and when he was about to reach his own climax he pulled out his member. She felt the hot spurts of his seed against her inner thighs.

Bill immediately went to her comfort room and brought a warm cloth with him, then he started cleaning her.

“I’m sorry,” he said after finishing.

Hillary giggled. “You keep on apologizing!”

Bill chuckled. He, then joined her on the bed again. He pulled Hillary to him and she climbed up on his chest so they were facing each other.

Bill felt his throat closed, his heart clenching at the sight of her at that time: her cheeks pink, her eyes so happy and light, and her lips full and red. They both looked at each other and the he reached to brush her cheek. “I love you so much, Hilly.”

Hillary smiled, satisfied. She leaned and kissed him. “I love you too, Billy.”

After a while when Hillary was already asleep, he watched her as his tears started to fall thinking about their parting. “I hope you forgive me. I hope you do not give up on me.” He whispered. “I have to do this so I can give you a better life in the future.”

He leaned to lightly kiss her forehead. “I love you so much, Hillary.” Then he begged. “I hope you do not forget me.”

And just before the sun rose, he was gone.

#####

Hillary woke up with a dull ache between her legs. But she felt happier and oh, so in love. She couldn’t wait to see and be with Bill again. She took an early shower and had her breakfast with her mother.

When she joined her mother, all she could think about was Bill and what he was doing. She was so busy thinking about him that her mother had to repeat what she was saying.

“Hillary,” her mother said calling her attention.

Hillary turned to her. “I’m sorry, Mama. I was thinking about my class.”

Her mother squinted at her. “It’s only Saturday.”

“I have a lot of homework.” Hillary lied.

Her mother nodded. “Well, I know you are a bright young woman, but enough with your classes. It’s weekend, you should enjoy the freetime.”

Hillary nodded, then her mother added. “By the way, Jack will be here later. I hope you can show him around the Estate.”

Hillary frowned. “Why should I show him around the Estate? Hugh can do that.”

Her mother was about to reply, but her father suddenly joined them and sat on his usual place.

“What’s wrong Ellsworth?” Dorothy, Hillary’s mother, asked.

Hugh Ellsworth Rodham scoffed. “A staff member had gone missing, apparently.”

“Oh, my. Who is he?” Dorothy asked.

“That boy, William Jefferson Clinton. He left the estate without words to anyone.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you's: (*￣з￣)  
> * to someone from tumblr who was so kind to reach out to offer her help in beta-ing me.  
> * to @theclingtons who told me to use Beethoven's quote (which she also used in her ff before)
> 
> Thanks for reading, the kudos, and commenting. (●o’∪`o)ノ―♪`*.+  
> I hope you enjoy/love the chapter.


	5. Chapter 5

When Hillary heard her father saying that it was Bill who went missing, she immediately got up from her seat and hurriedly went to the stables where he used to sleep.

First, she was just brisk walking, until she could no longer wait to reach his room. So she jogged, her dress flying behind and did not notice that her tears began to fall.

She pushed Bill’s room door open and saw his bed empty, save the cot where he slept with only a pillow left.

“Bill…” she whispered feeling her heart sinking, then turned to his cabinet and pulled the door open, the sight of it almost empty broke her heart. Bill was gone.

She turned and saw Mr. Fields standing just outside Bill’s room.

“Where is he?” She asked as she approached Mr. Fields.

“I couldn’t find him.”

_No._ Hillary turned and left Mr. Fields and started to look for him on her own.

_ He couldn’t leave her, _ she thought desperately.  _ He couldn’t leave her without saying good bye or leave without her. She told him that she would go with him. _ She ran, and went to different places in the estate but to no avail. Then she asked their driver to bring her to the market because she might find him there.

She went around the market still crying and Mrs. Fields who was with her suddenly had it enough with Hillary looking around like a lost wild child.

“Hillary, stop,” she whispered, holding Hillary’s wrist. “Let’s go home.”

“I-I can’t…” Hillary cried turning her head against Mrs. Fields’ chest then she started to bawl. 

“I can’t go back.” she sobbed her voice muffled “I have to find him.”

She wanted to run but she couldn’t because Mrs. Fields was coaxing her to go back into the car and Hillary fought against her, calling Bill’s name, causing some people to turn. But the young woman was determined to find him, it was an obligation. Later eventually, exhaustion engulfed Hillary and before she could even get away from Mrs. Fields she fainted.

Hillary woke up a few hours after jolting awake by the urgency to finish her research of Bill. 

She turned her head towards the balcony and noticed that the sun was about to set, so she decided to change her clothes and go to their usual spot.

She did not eat yet and did not even bother taking a shower, she was just desperate to find Bill to assure herself that he didn’t leave her. 

When she reached the oak tree by the river and found it empty, her resolve broke. It was confirmed: Bill left her.

Hillary sat and folded her legs against her chest embracing them, her tears rolling down her cheeks as her chest constricted. She never had experienced what a broken heart felt, and that time, she had her first hand experience.

It sliced through her young heart.

“Why did you leave?” she sobbed “why did you do this to me, Bill?” 

Hillary leaned her head against the trunk still willing to wait for Bill, still clinging to the hope that he hadn’t totally left her.

#####

Bill arrived at Mrs. Grant’s Estate by seven in the morning. The moment that he arrived there he knew that the Rodhams and the Fields would notice that he was missing. Every step he took going to Mrs. Grant’s he whispered a prayer for Hillary. He already knew that she had probably found out already that he was missing. He prayed for her strength and for her to be at ease of pain.

Mrs.Grant’s butler took Bill to Mrs.Grant’s office, Bill looked around inside the big mansion; it was quiet, dark, and bleak. There were few staff members moving around but none of them paid him attention.

Bill found Mrs.Grant standing by the window looking at him. Her red hair already tied up by a sophisticated chignon “I thought you’d back out from our agreement.”

Bill did not respond.

Mrs.Grant went to her table and extracted a thick envelope then walked toward him and said “Like what I have promised, here’s one year worth of your salary. However, I will only give this after your third month.”

Bill eyed her with distrust. “I want my mother’s name.”

“Virginia Clinton Kelley,” Mrs.Grant responded. “I’ll give you some other information in the next few months.”

Bill nodded.  He knew he had to play Mrs Grant’s game in order to be able to go back to Hillary and to find out about his mother.

“My butler, Mr. Higgins will assist you to your bedroom.” Mrs.Grant said.

She pressed something on her table, and after a while a butler with white hair came into her study room. “You called, ma’am?”

“Please take Mr. Clinton to his room.” She said flatly.

“As you wish, ma’am.” The butler then turned to Bill. “Shall we Mr. Clinton?”

Bill nodded following the butler. He looked around while the butler led him to his room. He noticed that there were few images of Mr.Grant still in the hanging on the walls. He found his features striking while Mr. Grant looked older than Mrs.Grant, he was handsome. He was slim in nature, not too fat nor too thin. He had that aristocratic air even in how his photos were taken. Clean shaven, his jaw strong and square, his nose straight. His hair was a combination of salt and pepper and looked like he was in his mid-fifties. 

Mr. Higgins saw Bill’s curiosity, so he said: “He died from heart attack.” 

Bill did not respond. After a while they stopped in front of an expensive looking wooden door.

“Mr. Clinton, Mrs. Grant had specifically arranged for you to sleep here.” He said before opening the door.

There was a mix of wonder and surprise in Bill’s expression in finding out where he would stay for the night. 

He looked at the thick bed at the center with four posts on the corner, the interior was modern in design: walls decorated in oak, everything was made of wood.

Everything in the room seemed to be superb and expensive. 

He looked around until he stopped to stand next to the window to look outside the field.

“That’s the corn and rice field” Mr. Higgins said. “By the way, Mr.Clinton on your left there is your comfort room. It has a shower and a bathtub with a special heater. Mrs. Grant has given you also the permission to use Mr. Grant’s wardrobe since both of you seemed to be in the same size, but if it didn’t fit you perfectly, let me know.”

“This is Mr. Grant’s bedroom?” Bill asked without looking at the butler.

“It used to—yes.” 

Bill turned around and did not respond, then he noticed the door behind Mr. Higgins, he asked. “What’s that door for?”

“That’s the connecting door to Mrs.Grant’s bedroom. You cannot open this unless she opens it on her side.”

Meaning, Mrs.Grant would use him whenever she wanted.

“I’ll leave you to rest. Mrs.Grant told me to take you to the dining room by the lunch, since she wanted you to have lunch with her.”

Bill did not respond again and so Mr. Higgins said, “If you need anything just ring the bell. I’ll leave you now.”

When Mr.Higgins left, Bill released a sigh. He unclasped his necklace and turned the frame so he could look at Hillary’s face. “The things I would do to have a future with you.” then he pressed his lips on her image “I already miss you.”

Bill then pressed the frame against his chest as he looked at the scar that he made. “I will return for you, Hilly.”

#####

Hillary stayed until the explosion of orange hue on the sky was replaced by violet, then dark blue. The sun already set. She knew it deep in her heart that Bill had already left her. What she couldn’t understand was: why did he do it when they had a great time the previous night? They promised that they would be together forever. 

What was his point of saying that he was hers forever, when he already planned to leave her in the morning?

She closed her eyes and felt her throat closing again, she remembered how he said that he loved her. She was no longer able to hold herself together when she realised  that she has been used. He took her virginity by having sex with her and she felt crushed and disorientated .

She had been crying and was already exhausted but the pain that she felt for his departure was unexplainable.

When she heard someone walk behind her, she turned her head and saw that it was her Mrs.Fields who was approaching her.

“Your mother and father have been looking for you, Sweetheart.” Mrs.Fields said gently, noting Hillary’s eyes were swollen from crying. She saw Hillary’s lips quivering before her tears started to fall.

“Sweetheart…” Mrs. Fields said coming to her, pulling her for an embrace.

“Bill left m...me,” She sobbed pressing her face against Mrs. Fields’ chest.

Mrs. Fields’ held Hillary, smoothing her hair comforting her.

“Bill will be back, Hillary.”  The old woman said to Hillary, trying to comfort the young one.

“How do you know?”  asked Hillary with trembling voice.

Hillary looked up at her, and Mrs. Fields’ heart broke because Hillarys’ eyes did not hide what she felt. She was truly heartbroken. To have her heartbroken for the first time, and Mrs. Fields knew that the experience had scarred her. She reached to wipe Hillarys’ tears with her palms.

“Because I know Bill loves you.”  replied Mrs.Fields .

Hillary shook her head still not understanding what she meant “If he loves me then why did he run away from me?”

“You will know in the right time. Come, little heart, let’s get you home before your mother and father becomes desperate looking for you.”

#####

In spite of Mrs. Grant’s instruction for Bill to take the whole day off, Bill did not do so. He went outside to meet some of the staff wanting to befriend them so he could have an ally. 

Bill found that Mr. Higgins was actually a fine person. The employee had been working for the Grants for the past twenty years and said that Mr. Grant was a fine man until he died. He left all of his money and estate to Mrs. Grant. Although the couple had been together for more than ten years they never had any children. They said that it was Mr. Grant who had problems.

Bill learned that Mrs.Grant was actually young. She was only forty-five and did not want to marry again  despite the fact that they had no children . But she had been lonely.

Bill shifted on his stand as he listened to Mr.Higgins talking. The old man seemed to understand that Bill had other purposes besides the management of the estate.

When Mr. Higgins left, Bill worked on the stables getting to know the horses there: he checked their hooves and their bodies then smiled appreciating them. Arabian stallion and mare, purebred.

Bill watched the sunset from the stables feeling his heartbroken because he knew that Hillary was already waiting for him. She was still probably hoping for him to return, and Bill wanted to return. Every fiber of his being wanted to go back to her to ask for her forgiveness. But even if the urge was so strong Bill had to stifle it. He had a mission that needed to be completed. He looked at his scar and delicately touched it using his fingers. 

“I love you, Hillary,” he whispered.

#####

Later that night after Bill worked and he entered his room, he found Mrs.Grant standing next to the window waiting for him and wearing a red silk robe. Her hair was as red as her robe and was tied up on a knot. She turned to look at Bill.

Bill held her gaze and realized that Mrs.Grant didn’t show any hint that she was nervous. She looked like someone who kept herself together. Poised and cunning. She held the tumbler tighter and took a sip. When she was done, she placed the tumbler on the window sill.

She went to Bill and he fought all the urge to take a step back. When she was close enough to him, she wrinkled her nose getting a whiff of his sweat and the smell of the stables on him.

Bill suddenly remembered the scenario with Hillary. How she wrinkled her nose, but not of disgust but rather with concern. 

“I want you to come to my bedroom,” she said straightforwardly without any hint of emotions in her voice. Bill suddenly snapped out of the memories as she said that instruction. She did not wait for him to respond, and instead, turned around and headed to the door leading to her bedroom, but before she could turn the knob she turned around and looked at him again. “But I want you to take a shower before you come to my bed.”

#####

Hillary laid on her side in her bed exhausted after she cleaned Bill’s room, thinking that if he returned, at least his bedroom would be clean. Then she took what was left on Bill’s small cabinet and placed it in her cabinet and stacked it perfectly. She wanted to keep everything and would return his stuff herself, if he returned back to her. Then she took the handkerchief that he owned and brought it with her on her bed. She crumbled the handkerchief as she whispered a prayer for him wherever he was.

Her tears rolled down her cheeks as she curled in a fetal position. She still kept on thinking what she had done for him to leave her that way. She wanted to hate him but couldn’t do so, because in spite of how he had hurt her, she still loved him.

“Bill, please, come back to me,” she whispered until she fell asleep.

#####

Bill dropped his head on his hands as he stood in the shower, water running scalding hot on his body, in his bedroom after few hours. He did so he could clean himself, he felt dirty deep within his soul. 

He hoped he could  rub out the whole deed, to erase definitely how it felt but he knew that it was pointless. It was already done, and for sure, he would also be doing it again the next day.

While he had already shared his body with others, he did it out of his wants. However, sharing his body with Mrs.Grant in exchange of a bigger salary and a ticket to his past made him feel ashamed of himself.

Bill closed his eyes while doing what Mrs.Grant told him to do, tried to block all of his emotions. He even did not want to remember Hillary. He just focused to make Mrs.Grant come sooner. 

He took the soap and started to rub his skin with it, trying to remove the trail of Mrs.Grant’s kisses on his body. He rubbed and rubbed until his skin turned almost reddish.

When he was done with the shower he laid on the bed feeling exhausted and empty. He turned and saw his necklace and took it in his hands, cradling it against his face feeling his warm tears rolling on his cheeks.

“I’m so sorry,” he whispered looking at Hillary’s image. “I’m so, so sorry.” He repeated clutching her frame thinking that he was being unfaithful to her for sharing his body to someone else.

Bill quietly sobbed thinking how the days of his life for the next few months would look like. They were bleak, empty and painful. While he tried to contemplate what his future looked like, a small hope continued to shine in his heart. He focused on that small light, like a Northern star on his darkness and it comforted him because he knew that in spite of his current darkness, he would eventually see the light.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry it took me some time to finish this but I had been away and I have two people I am in contact with in terms of consulting my story, so apologies because it really takes time. But anyway, I hope you like it. If you have any violent reaction please message me on my tumblr [ [HERE](writingfrompoetrytoprose.tumblr.com/ask) ]and not post hate in the comment section. :|
> 
> Hope to hear your thoughts.
> 
> Thank you to my wonderful beta and to my kick ass good friend. ✿♥‿♥✿


	6. Chapter 6

Few days had passed and it was all a blur for Bill Clinton, every morning he would work tirelessly to help Mrs. Grant with her business and win her trust. In doing so he hoped he would know about his mother in a faster way. Also, by winning Mrs. Grant’s affection it would mean freedom for him, he was allowed to study during the afternoon and therefore achieve his dream of becoming a politician. So he gave whatever she wanted in order to please her.

Admittedly, if Bill wasn’t in love with Hillary he wouldn’t think  that working and being used by Mrs. Grant  was repulsive. Mrs Grant was beautiful with stunning red hair, green eyes, straight and small nose, and smooth and clear skin. She was also voluptuous; a man would kill to be in his position. But he wasn’t that kind of man. He didn’t want his body to be used out of circumstances. He wanted only to be with Hillary.

It had been a routine as well: after work, Bill would take a shower, use the wardrobe and perfume from Mr. Grant’s wardrobe then he would dine with her. He would sit on her right, listen to her stories, pretends to be interested in her. Then, after dining, she would invite him to her bedroom and they would spend the entire time  having sex . He would do everything that would please her. Surprisingly to Bill, Mrs. Grant taught him how to please a woman as well.

One night after they had sex, Mrs. Grant curled up beside him.

“Have you thought what you want to be when you grow up?” Bill heard Mrs. Grant asking.

The young boy slightly turned his head, his cheek touching Mrs. Grant’s forehead then turned his head back to its position, staring at the ceiling.

“I’m already taking law classes as I’ve told you,” Bill said nonchalantly.

Mrs. Grant rubbed her cheek against his chest, he almost flinched at the touch. Then he distracted himself by touching the strands of her hair.

She smiled thinking that he was curious about her.

“When I saw you, I knew you were more than a stable boy.” She observed. Bill, however, wasn’t listening. He kept his eyes on the ceiling, his mind blank.

She giggled softly. “I saw you tending the Rodham’s horses and I couldn’t keep my eyes from you.” She said.

The mere mention of Hillary’s family made Bill uncomfortable, he suddenly felt like as if someone punched him. He moved intending to leave but suddenly Mrs. Grant held him.

“Why are you leaving?” She asked.

“I think we are done here.” He replied.

She giggled again. “Not so,” she replied before covering his lips with hers.

#####

_ “What else do you want to do in life, Billy?” Hillary asked one night when Bill went to her room to hang out with her. He laid his head on her lap as Hillary brushed his hair  _ _ softly _ _ with her fingers. _

_ “I’ll make you a queen one day.” He said smiling, his eyes closed. His body relaxed after having worked tirelessly during the day. _

_ Hillary giggled, her laugh like soft bells in the night. _

_ “We are not a Monarchy, silly.” She replied in between giggles. _

_ “You’ll see,” he said. _

Days had passed and there was no news of Bill, no one knew where he was and they all stopped looking for him because they knew that it was his decision to leave the estate, considering the lack of items in his cabinet. While the people rarely talked about him, some of the them started to care less. 

However, Hillary couldn’t move on, in fact her thoughts before sleeping and during the daytime were always about him. She couldn’t get the pain, longing, confusion and worry off from her. She couldn’t stop worrying, and in fact, every once in a while a  tear would fall for him.

She tried to relieve the last few moments they shared, and she wondered why… why would he do that to her? Why did he take advantage of her feelings for him and leave her like as if she would not matter to him?

She blinked again, her tears silently rolling on her temples clogging her ear temporarily blocking the noise and until all she could hear was the quiet weeping of her heart.

He said he loved her. He said it so sincerely and so achingly, she wouldn’t mistake the honesty of his feelings. But then again why did he leave her?

She suddenly remembered his plan to find his mother. She wondered:  _ did he planned it all? _

Sleeping with her, then go on his way? But why didn’t he tell  the plan to her? Most of all, why  leaving her  without saying goodbye and exactly in the morning after taking her virginity?

It was cruel of him, doing that to her … and she was afraid that she might never recover from the pain.

She had loved him even when they were younger. She fought for him, owned his faults and that was how he would repay her? By stabbing her heart. Poison her love. Ruin her.

Martyr that she was, she still prayed for him, for his security, for his strength, for him to find his mother. And of course, she prayed for herself so she could heal. That she would be able to forgive him and for her to hold on to his love. To wait until forever ends because he made a promise to her.

She blinked, but there were no more tears that rolled that time, just a hollow dull ache in her chest.

_ “Don’t forget me,” he said. _

How can she ever forget about him?

#####

Bill winced when he finished carving Hillary’s initial again, trying to deepen the scar. He placed the knife back inside his pocket and tied up his hand with a handkerchief to stop the bleeding. He then went to stand near the window, to watch beyond the vast dark horizon thinking about Hillary. That was all he had been doing. Thinking about her day in and day out, gaze at her picture, relive their moments together, imagine what their future would look like when he returned to the estate.

He had set a plan alright: once left the Mrs. Grant’s estate and he will go to find his mother, he will write to someone at the Rodham’s estate. The first person to come to his mind was Mrs. Fields but then he erased the thought because he knew that Mrs. Fields might easily tell Hillary about him and his plan.

He needed someone he could trust, who would be unemotional about the situation.

Suddenly he remembered about Hugh and what he said: “If you want to win my sister you have to do something, or else, see her married off to someone.”

He could tell Hugh about his plan, but he thought he could call him or send him a letter. He stopped realizing that the letter would be dangerous as it might fall on Hillary’s hands. He would visit Hugh one day or call him when arrived in Arkansas. But what was important, was for him to first make it through the first few months at the Mrs. Grant’s Estate.

He slid his hand on his neck and touched his pendant then dangled the frame looking at Hillary’s face. He felt his heart constricted thinking about how she was feeling, if she was okay, or how was she holding up at that moment. He knew the pain he had caused her. After all, he left the girl right after taking her, it was a blow to Hillary. And while it hurt her, he hated himself more. He pressed his lips on the frame apologizing to her.

He then remembered how many times they both argued when they were growing up and every time that she was angry at him and stopped talking to him because of an argument, Bill would be bothered to the point of feeling insane. He wouldn’t sleep and he wouldn’t think rightly.

He remembered particularly one time when Hillary did not like Bill hanging out with the “market boys” he befriended, who worked at the fish market. She did not like their company because they were a bad influence to him. But Bill did not listen to her warning and still went to hang out with those kids, it was needless to say that he ended up being in trouble when the market boys got into a fist fight with other group of boys. Bill got few bruises.

“I told you to stop hanging out with them!” She said angrily standing next to him who was lying on the ground. Her hands on her hips.

Bill clutched the ice pack that Mrs. Fields’ gave him. “What am I supposed to do then?”

“Look at your face! You could’ve died!”

Bill laughed. “You are exaggerating.”

“Exaggerating!” She exclaimed. “First, fist fights, next time you’ll get yourself killed.”

Bill shrugged. “No one would care if I died.”

Hillary looked at him shocked, then she walked out and left him. Bill did not follow and just stared at the river. They did not talk the rest of the night.

While he lay on his cot trying to get a sleep, he stared at the ceiling. He wasn’t able to sleep so he tossed and turned until he gave up and went to her bedroom.

He found her there on her bed reading. He knocked softly and Hillary let him in without talking to him. She turned around going back to her bed, but before she could climb the mattress, Bill reached for her hand. Hillary’s eyes dropped to his hand then to his face when he said solemnly, “I’m sorry.”

She hugged him, later Bill repeated his apology. He pulled back and framed her face. “I’m so sorry Hilly. Okay? I’m sorry.”

Hillary nodded silently and Bill kissed her forehead.

Bill sighed remembering those times how easily Hillary could forgive him and how much it affected him when she was angry at him. He wondered when the time came for him to ask for forgiveness, would Hillary forgive him? When he will tell her that the reason he had left was so he could win her in the future?

#####

The next day as the sun was setting Hillary again sat on their usual spot. Her legs were drawn up, curled against her chest while she was drawing circles on the ground. She stayed there studying and then found herself just relaxing. She had to focus on her lessons again before her grades took a dip. It had been few days already and she couldn’t be in that state forever. She had to pull herself together and move on.

Suddenly she heard something behind her.

Hillary turned around hearing a snap of twig behind her and noticed her brother, Hugh was approaching her.

“It took me a while to find you, but I am glad I did.” He said slowly making his way where she sat.

“Wow, this is beautiful.” He observed standing next to where she sat. He looked at the river quietly moving down the stream. The oak tree was a great place for someone to unwind, he thought.

He adjusted his slacks before taking a seat next to her. “What are you doing here, Hilly?” He asked, his eyes still glued at the nature before them.

She did not respond.

“Everyone noticed your gloom when Billy left. Everyone knew how both of you were fond of each other. It must have been hard for you.”

Hillary suddenly felt her throat closing in, her eyes becoming blurry, hearing the understanding from her brother.

“You and Bill had always been inseparable. When he arrived, you already took him under your care like a lost puppy. You’ve always had a soft heart for the loners and that is something everyone admires about you. Your kindness. Above all else. It must be really hard for you.”

Hillary reached to wipe her tears that had silently rolled down her cheeks.

“I’ll tell you a story, Hilly. Remember when I lost my favorite riding gloves the one that grandpapa gave me?”

Hillary nodded remembering how crazy Hugh was in looking for his kid skinned gloves. He was angry and had been searching everywhere for his gloves that their father couldn’t understand why he was eager to find them when they could easily replace them.

Hugh chuckled remembering it. “I searched everywhere down to the most unimaginable places just to see them. If I could have turned the house upside-down to find them, I would have done so.”

He took a deep breath, “Do you know what I was thinking and feeling while I couldn’t find it?”

She shook her head.

“Unimaginable. I loved that kid skin gloves because they were the only remembrance I had from grandpapa. My gut felt twisted. My heart was aching for fear that I may not be able to find them. I felt stupid, so irresponsible. I was hoping and hoping to find those damn gloves.” He sighed again. “It was only a material thing but there was an incredible sense of loss that I felt when I lost them.” He reached for her hand and placed it atop hers. “I cannot imagine how you must be feeling right now that you’ve lost a very significant friend.”

Hillary looked at him, her tears rolled down her cheeks again. “It hurts to lose him, Hugh.” She said brokenly. “It hurts right here.” She said pointing on her chest, her voice trembling.

Hugh pulled her to his side. “The sun will also rise again, Hillary. The rain will also stop. Your pain will also end.”

She nodded holding her brother like an anchor. She wished the pain would end sooner so she could live and laugh again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, I hope you like the update. Sorry for the slow pace. Don't worry after chapter 8, we'll transition to their more mature self. ʘ‿ʘ
> 
> Here's to hoping to hear your thoughts about this chapter.
> 
> Again, thanks to my wonderful friend and to an amazing beta who had been helping me. ⊂◉‿◉つ


	7. Chapter 7

The days and months passed, Bill and Hillary already started to move on with their lives; while Hillary was driven to do more to forget Bill, Bill did more to ensure to win her in the future.

But days and nights have been harder for him, he was becoming more miserable each day. His work at the Grant’s was making him depressed, empty, and lonely. His continuous pretension to be interested in Mrs. Grant’s welfare was making him sick to his stomach. Yet he kept working in order to obtain more information about his past.

“How did you know her?” Bill asked one time while he lounged in Mr Grant’s bed after having sex with her. The bedroom smelt heavily of her perfume and sex. He reclined on her bed while Mrs. Grant poured some whiskey in her tumbler.

She took a good look at the amber liquid, then swirled it. Bill could see the reflection of the color of the liquor on her eyes. She took a sniff before taking a sip. She wore that expensive velvet red robe. Her hair free from confines shining like a fire behind her.

“I don’t know her, I know her husband—your father.” She said making her way towards him carrying a glass of tumbler for him as well.

Bill felt the hair on the back of his head stood up by the mere mention of his father. He reluctantly took the glass that Mrs. Grant gave him and took a sip.

“What do you know about him?” He asked flatly.

“He’s a prizefighter. Came here to fight. But he lost the fight and… well… took his anger on your mother. Which is why your mother had given you to a lady on a market to save you.” She said watching Bill taking a sip of her whiskey.

Bill was already twenty and was starting to lose the look of his youth. His face was starting to resemble of that classic handsome young man, long face, smooth jaw, straight nose with a little plump on the tip, but his deepest gentle eyes were his best feature besides his wonderful smile. They were kind and could read her soul. He was a charmer and Mrs. Grant knew that he would go far in the world.

She reached to touch his jaw, “You are a beautiful man, Bill. Smart and charming. I think you will go far in this world.” She said voicing her thoughts.

Bill kept his gaze locked with hers and he wondered what was on her mind.

“I think you’ll leave the estate soon and find your past. But I don’t think that I am ready to let you go yet.” She said before she reached for the knot on her robe, untying it and allowing it to slide from her body. Then she joined him on the bed.

#####

Hillary was reviewing her notes when she heard someone walking behind her. She turned around and saw Jack Dorsey approaching her.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know that this place was occupied.” He said.

Hillary shrugged and returned to read her notes again. She thought that Jack would get a hint of her snubbing but instead he took a sit under the oak tree near the river. He kept a good distance from her and watched the river flow.

Hillary thought that maybe he just wanted to rest so she did not bother and continued studying.

Richard Dorsey or Jack Dorsey as some fondly called him was the eldest child of the Dorseys. They said that they had an aristocratic blood, considering that his mother was the sister of the Earl of Langley. His mother met his father in London in an event thrown by the Earl. His father was in a liquor business. He owned a few estates in Napa, California and in New Mexico. He was a famous wine maker. His popularity in making wines allowed him to be invited to the parties thrown by upper classes until he met the Earl in New York. The Earl then had invited him to London, where he met Jack’s mother.

The Dorseys were very popular in Chicago because of their wealth. Everything about them spoke of aristocracy, even their features spoke of richness. Jack was no different: his copper blonde hair was always neatly combed and even had a hint of pomade in it to ensure that it does not stray. His back always straight, his shirts always white. He always wore a coat even when they were young. He spoke very little but had a very British accent. His nose straight and his eyes plain brown.

He took off his coat, then used it to lie on it, folded his arms behind his back to use as his pillow and closed his eyes to take a nap.

Hillary eyed him and wondered why he was there. But she no longer paid any attention and continued studying. An hour passed and Hillary was about to go back to the house when she noticed that Jack was still asleep. She would have left him but realized that leaving a rich boy alone there was not a good idea, so she stood up and gently shook him.

“Jack, we have to go back,” Hillary said trying not to startle him.

Jack opened his eyes that were still sleepy. “I never had such a wonderful sleep,” he said.

Hillary helped him up and took his coat but Jack looked horrified by what she did “You shouldn’t do that, my lady.” He said taking his coat from her.

“What do you mean?” Hillary asked as they started to walk back to her house.

“Pick my coat,” he said, his hands on his back. Hillary sighed, shaking her head remembering Bill’s annoyance with Jack’s perfection.

“We should be the one serving ladies,” he said.

Hillary chuckled. “Is that an English tradition?”

Jack turned to her briefly. “It’s what a gentleman does, my lady.”

Hillary took a deep breath, nodded, and continued walking silently beside him. When they reached the mansion, Jack’s parents were already waiting for him.

“We’re glad both of you are back, we are just about to leave, Richard,” his mother said and he nodded.

Hillary stood beside her mother as they waited for the Dorsey’s chauffeured car to arrive, when it did, their parents shook hands and gave a friendly peck on the cheek. While their children stood there awkwardly.

Hillary gave Jack her hand intending to shake it with his, but then Jack turned it with her palms facing down, and he leaned to kiss the smooth skin at the back of it. “Thank you for allowing me to sleep under your tree.” He said before he joined his parents and rode the limousine.

#####

Bill planned it all; he already listed down the information he needed to reach his home. The money he had was safely deposited in a bank and had a few ones in his pocket. Finally, his bag already packed.

It took him four months exactly to get what he needed, then when he was all set, he was ready to go, ready to buy back what he has lost, all for it, for a wonderful future with his love.

He slipped a sleeping drug into Mrs. Grant’s drink after they had sex and she was already sound asleep, and immediately went to his room, took his bag and left the estate.

Bill went to ride a midnight train and slept on the floor heading towards Arkansas. He smiled as he looked at the dark horizon before him. He knew and could feel it in his heart that his future looked bright.

Bill was still asleep when someone woke him up. He jolted up and saw two big burly man standing before him.

“You can’t ride this train,” the guy said, and that all that Bill heard before they picked him up and started punching him.

Bill couldn’t see clearly because of darkness. He couldn’t fight back until someone boxed his ear that he heard a ringing in his head. He fell then he curled to protect himself but they continued to kick and punched him and someone had successfully kicked his stomach making it hard for him to breath.

He pleaded for them to stop, but his pleads seemed to make them more violent. He realized that it was already pointless to plead. So he gave up fighting and instead curled to protect himself.

All the while, the men continued to hurt him, and all he could think about was Hillary. He knew he was probably going to die but it no longer mattered to him. If he was going to die, he’d want to die remembering her.

The guy opened the sliding door and Bill could see the mountains, they took his bag and threw it off the train.

“No, please,” he pleaded weakly.

“You should have thought about that before coming into our train,” someone said bitingly. Bill held to the door, but his hold was weak, everything was a blur and before he knew it, they pushed him off.

#####

“Bill!” Hillary screamed, jolting awake. She turned around looking for him. She felt her heart thundering against her chest.

Her tears rolling were down her cheeks. Her hair sticky with her sweat.

 _Something is wrong,_ she thought. She could feel it, could taste the blood inside her mouth as she bit her lips drawing blood earlier.

She clutched his handkerchief, her body shaking with fear.

“Bill” she whispered. She knew it in her heart that something happened to her beloved. She could feel it in her heart and soul and she just didn’t know how to reach him. It made her want to weep and to thrash but it was all pointless. With nothing much else to do, she rolled off from her bed and kneeled beside her bed, her hands pressed together as she whispered a prayer for him.

“Keep him alive and strong, my dear Lord,” she whispered with shaking breath, and with tears running down her cheeks.

#####

 _“What is that?” Bill asked one time when they were kids as they_ _laid_ _on the ground watching the stars_.

 _“That’s the Northern Star, Billy.”_ _Hillary responded. “They say that you just look at the Northern Star when you are lost. It will guide you home.”_

Bill blinked through swollen eyes, watching the stars from where he laid on the dirt. He took a good roll down, he felt his arm broken, his body aching, but he was alive. He tried to move and he was able to do so, and he was glad because it meant that he could still walk. But he was tired and aching. He wanted to keep laying down first so he could recover. He knew he was badly beaten and tomorrow it would have been a problem again because he didn’t know where he was, but he needed to get going. He needed to reach Arkansas. First, he would recuperate, find his bag, and start his journey again.

As he laid down there, tears escaped his eyes. He longed to be in Hillary’s arms. He knew that if she was there, she would immediately tend to his wounds and take care of him just as how she used to do it back when they were kids.

Bill stared at the night sky, watching the stars. She once told him that he was her Northern Star, but in reality, she was his.

Her love was his guide. Their future was his motivation to be alive.

He reached for his necklace with his still healthy hand and was glad that it was still there, he kissed her frame, and flattened it against his chest as he finally succumbed to sleep.

#####

“Wake up! Wake up, son!”

Bill struggled to open his eyes, but when he did he saw an elder man standing before him gently waking him up. He struggled to keep his eyes open but he was able to see that the man had three collies with him.

“What happened to you?” He asked.

“Where am I?”

“Hidden Springs.” The man replied, then he reached for him to help him sit.

“Why don’t you come home first so you can eat and recover?”

Bill winced when the man helped him up, but even with broken ribs he managed to sit up.

“I need to find my bag,” Bill said.

The elder nodded. “Don’t worry. I’ll help you. Were you robbed?”

Bill nodded thinking that it was much easier to make the man think that he was a victim.

“Well, you shouldn’t be wandering around here, there are a lot of ‘em prying to rob and hurt people.”

“I’m Thomas, and those are my dogs: Sammy, Tickles, and Darling.”

Bill nodded and took a sharp in-take of breath when he felt a stabbing pain on his side.

“My wife can help you with that broken ribs,” the man said, then he led Bill towards his cottage.

Bill stayed for few days with Thomas’ family but when he was able to recover, he went back to his journey heading to Arkansas more determined than ever.

#####

When Bill reached Arkansas he felt an incredible sense of belongingness. Maybe because his southern roots were calling him. He felt at peace and knew that it was the place he wanted to flourish. He smiled, he would bring Hillary there and make her his queen.

He made his way and went to Little Rock, Arkansas. He asked around wanting to find their “home”. He saw a plump woman hanging shirts outside to dry. She turned around when Bill made came closer. She tilted her head to the side and asked: “How can I help you?” 

Bill looked at her and could not mistake what his gut was telling him: he was looking at his mother. “Are you Virginia Clinton Kelley?”

She nodded. “How can I help you?”

Bill kept his eyes glued on her, “I am William Jefferson Clinton… I am your son.”

Bill wasn’t exactly sure what he was expecting from her, but there was a certain longing that Bill felt. He finally found a family. Virginia’s eyes were suddenly filled with tears, her lips trembled and she pulled Bill into an embrace.

“My son! My son!” She cried. She cried holding him asking him to forgive her.

Bill couldn’t speak but he held his mother. He suddenly remembered his journey and all the troubles he experienced to finally hold his mother. He nodded when she asked again for his forgiveness, her cries were deep, guttural cries. They had a lot to talk about, a lot to fix, but being able to forgive and accept was their start.

After a while, Virginia gave Bill a cold juice while she helped him fixing his bed. They talked about what happened, where his father was, and if he had any siblings. She said that he was her only son; that his father was already dead.

“I know you might be wondering why I didn’t come looking for you.”

Bill kept silent.

“I did William, but I didn’t know where you were. I prayed every night for your safety and for us to see each other again.” She said. “I know you have a lot of questions and I am willing to answer them. I am just so glad to see you again.”

Bill nodded and embraced her. “Don’t worry mother, we will start to be a family again. We will build our life together.”

#####

**10 years after | New York**

Bill held his friend Paul Andrews from falling. Paul had just consumed two bottles of scotch. He was intoxicated. Bill, on the other hand, was still sober. He had a few shots but kept control of his liquor.

“I am so sorry to drag you here my dear friend,” Paul said, his breath smelled heavily of alcohol. “But you know how much I need you.”

Bill sighed. “What can I do? I have to play as your mother again.”

Paul chuckled. “That’s why you are my friend. By the way, did you keep that invitation from Dorsey?”

Bill nodded. The envelope burned inside the pocket in his coat. Paul Andrews was a wealthy son of the Andrews and Sons Shipping company. Hugh mentioned about Paul in one of his letters to Bill. Bill met Paul in one of exclusive bars in New York. Paul got into trouble one night in the bar, but before the owner was able to throw Paul out, Bill took care of the problem for Paul and saved his ass. It was there that Paul and Bill had become friends.

The reason why Bill had befriended Paul was because of Paul’s connection to the Dorseys. When Hugh mentioned that Jack Dorsey was courting Hillary, Bill had set his plan.

Bill intended to return to the estate when he got elected as Governor in Arkansas. He wanted to return to the Rodhams’ and ask Hillary to be his First Lady. But he needed more time; he needed to be elected first. He didn’t want to return without any guarantee of becoming the Governor. However, his plans suddenly took a different turn.

In one of Hugh’s letter two years ago, Jack Dorsey returned from England and seemed to be courting Hillary. Initially, Bill did not mind the news because he still wanted to keep his goal. Plus, he was confident that Hillary wouldn’t accept Jack. But Bill took his time because one day Hugh told him that Jack Dorsey had already proposed to Hillary and that she had accepted.

Bill felt his world shattered when he read the letter. Hillary! His Hillary marrying someone else! He couldn’t explain the betrayal he felt. How the news hurt him because she promised to marry him, but seemed to have forgotten about him, already.

 _“Do you know what’s my wish, Bill?”_ _  
_

_“No.”_

_“I want to be your wife someday, Billy,” she said one night when she turned eighteen._

Bill could remember it vividly, but then she accepted to be someone else’s wife.

 _Well_ , Bill thought sadly, he was gone for eight years. He shouldn’t have been surprised. So even though he wasn’t elected yet, he had to get her. He couldn’t wait for the election. He had to win her back before he would lose her permanently.

“Make sure that you are already awake by 6 in the mornin’!” Paul said. “We’ll leave by 6 AM to get to Chicago.”

“I’ll be here exactly on time,” Bill responded. His heart was ready, he would go to Chicago and win Hillary back. No more delay this time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you like the update. YAY CHAPTER 8! ｡^‿^｡
> 
> P.S: Whoever is the anon who kept on commenting about the lack of response in my comment, to please stop pointing out how many comments I am only getting? I mean, I am okay with a little comment but no need to rub it on my face that I got a few readers now. (｀Д´) ლಠ益ಠ)ლ ノಠ_ಠノ
> 
> Thank you to my good friend L and to my wonderful beta J. You guys are amazing. Still a three-woman-team! (￣^￣)ゞ


	8. Chapter 8

Hillary looked at the estate before her. It was Richard’s estate and soon would be hers too. He had acquired the estate when his father died, so much had happened in so little time.

She pulled the wrapper around her as the wind blew and felt a chill on her spine. It had been a long time since her last visit in Chicago. After she had graduated in College she had immediately moved in Connecticut to study law. She stayed there for a long while then went back to Chicago when Hugh celebrated his birthday. It was there that she was able to reacquaint with Richard who was in attendance. 

When Hillary first saw Richard after 8 years since he moved to Oxford to study Economics she felt a sense of nostalgia. She couldn’t believe how much he had changed, though there were things that  remained the same. Richard was still as impeccable as ever. His back straight. His hair still perfectly combed. He wore three-piece suit. He did not associate well with others and was aloof, maybe because of his upbringing, but when Hillary came to him to ask how he was Richard relaxed.

They talked incessantly, and when he was about to leave, he also did what he did before: kissed the back of her hand just as how a gentleman would do. It was classic and it made Hillary smile.

Admittedly, for their two years of dating and courtship, Richard held a great restraint. He was very conservative. They kissed, but they did not do anything more than that. He was a classic English aristocrat and he showed it very well.

Hillary already  knew what she would end up as if they married: a very pampered housewife. But before she had accepted Richard’s proposal she said, and had been very firm about it, that she would continue her profession as a lawyer. Of course Richard did not agree with her.

“I cannot have my wife going about doing a middle class job.” Richard exclaimed one time while they were lounging on the couch in his study. His arm draped over her shoulder.

“How about a consultancy?” She asked.

“I suppose you can do a charity based work, fund a bunch of lawyers to help you carry out your mission, but not a lawyer to anyone.”

“Is that what aristocrats do?” She teased.

Richard turned to her and kissed her forehead. “It’s what a future Countess might do.”

Hillary looked at him, her eyes wide as saucers. “You’ re  kidding me!”

Richard pursued his lips. “Well, my uncle doesn’t have any son, and I am the next one to inherit his title, so I guess if we get married and my uncle expires, I’ll take the title and that makes you my Countess.”

Hillary sighed and shook her head. She never thought about becoming a Countess, in fact becoming a wife of an aristocrat never came into her mind. When she was young she had settled on the thought to become … well ...

_ “I wanted to become your wife, Billy.” _

Of course, that was her dream, until he left. It had been ten years and she did not hear a word about him… about Bill. She no longer had thought about him but she couldn’t forget him. In fact, from time to time he had visited her in her dreams, then it stopped when Richard started courting her. There were times before that she wondered about him. She did not want to think that he died, but she wanted to think that maybe he was somewhere in Arkansas following his dream.

She no longer felt anything for him not even anger, but, admittedly, in the very corner of her heart, he would always have a special place. 

He was her first love. Her first passion. 

She turned to her scar that he had carved just a few inches below her thumb. His initials looked even more prominent.

WJC.

She smiled thinking that she had loved greatly before and she was content about that. She knew she made a promise not to love anyone but him but she had to move on too, have children and have someone to take care of her too. She might not love Richard as passionately and intensely, but he was enough for her.

“Diane,” Richard said followed by touching her waist. “The guests are here.”

She turned to him, “So are you ready to introduce me as your fiancée?”

Richard smiled. “Thrilled, they’d be jealous!”

Richard gave her his arm and Hillary took it. They walked going to the entrance hall as their guests started to arrive in chauffeured cars. They had a total of thirty guests (besides Richard’s siblings). The thirty guests were all very close to Richard and his business.

Hillary and Richard welcomed them, and she felt a little awkward by the formality of the event nevertheless she carried out the role and was glad that Richard would discretely instruct her.

The last chauffeured car arrived: a tan colored Rolls Royce Phantom. Sleek and very sophisticated.

“It’s Paul Andrews,” Richard whispered.

Hillary nodded. For some reason she suddenly felt something pricking at the back of her neck, her hands suddenly felt clammy and cold, even the wind suddenly had a different whisper.

“Hold the dogs!” Someone barked behind her as Richard’s collies suddenly ran around. Richard let go of her arm and went to fetch his collie who had ran to the car.

He was able to hold his dog, then she heard him announced: “Andrews!” 

“Old chap! Old chap!” A man’s voice greeted.

“Who are you with?” Richard asked.

“Ma’am…” a servant called her attention and she turned to the servant.

“Apparently, sir Richard’s guest Paul Andrews came with a guest and requested for a separate room which one do you want him to be placed?”

Her mind was abuzz, “What?”

“The free one is next to yours.”

“Darling…” Richard called, Hillary turned to him and said to the servant absentmindedly, “Sure, place the guest there.”

“I want you to meet Paul Andrews of Andrews and Sons and his good friend, William Jefferson Clinton.”

Hillary felt that the time had slowed down. The world suddenly defied physics and bent the time. When their eyes met, a sudden lightning hit the ground. 

She couldn’t mistake it, it was Bill.

_ Her Bill. _

“How do you do, ma’am?” Paul asked who was standing before her. Bill stood behind Paul.

Hillary did not respond, her eyes still glued at Bill like as if she had seen a ghost. Paul turned to Bill and said, “Oh, my apologies, but here’s my good friend, William Jefferson Clinton.”

Bill took off his hat and nodded at her.

“How do you do, ma’am?” He asked.

Their eyes still held each other until Richard went to her. “Darling…?”

She took a deep breath and said, “I am … I’m sorry,” she stammered, “I’m not really feeling well.”

Richard’s eyebrows furrowed. “I’m sorry about that,” he told Paul. “I’ll have the servant assist you, gentlem e n.”

Richard placed his hand at the small of Hillary’s back as they walked back inside the mansion. Bill however kept his eyes on Hillary and felt an incredible sense of longing engulfing him upon seeing her. There were so many emotions that wrapped around him but the one overwhelmed him was the longingness.

“Wow, Jack’s wife couldn’t keep her eyes off you.”

Bill turned to him and didn’t respond. He knew well why she couldn’t keep her eyes off him. She was terrified of what was about to happen with his presence. And while it was understandable why she should  feel that way, Bill wanted to assure her that he did not mean any harm. In fact, he was there to buy back what they have lost.

#####

Hillary paced inside her bedroom feeling sick to her stomach.  _ Bill! Bill  _ _ was _ _ there! She couldn’t believe it! _ It was so surreal, she was just thinking about him and then he suddenly appeared. She touched her head.  _ Was she imagining it? _ She suddenly thought in worry.

How could Bill come back to Chicago? 

But she  couldn ’t be wrong! She might have not been able to see him for the past few years but those eyes!  That nose! The way he looked at her!

She felt a sinking feeling about his presence. She did not want Bill to be around her and ruin her life. He had done enough damage on her when they were young. It took her so long to move on. She  couldn’t afford him to ruin everything between her and Richard.

No, not her Richard.

She sat on the edge of the bed and pressed her face on her hands. She couldn’t cower and sit all day inside her bedroom. She had to face their guest and that meant facing Bill. She just could ignore him all throughout.

With that plan she had set, she took a deep breath then washed her face and  pulled herself together . She wouldn’t hide inside her future home. She would face them … and him.

She reached for the door and headed straight, finding Richard and hoping that she wouldn’t bump into Bill along the way. With few turns, she found Richard standing on the balcony overlooking the estate, he was talking to his partners and one of them was Bill, who stood next to Paul.

“Richard,” she whispered. Richard took a pause and his face lit up when he found her approaching him. He stretched his hand for her to take and she did.

“Are you okay?” He asked gently pulling her closer to his side.

Hillary nodded, avoiding Bill’s eyes. She stood so close to Richard with his arm curled behind her back.

“I was explaining to them our estate,” he whispered against her temple.

She nodded quietly.

Bill’s fists were turning white. He had clenched them so hard trying to prevent himself from doing anything stupid. The jealousy was driving him crazy. He watched how Hillary had clung to Jack like as if she was his lifeline.

He wanted to groan,  wasn’t this what he was talking about then?  Wasn’t this what he wanted her before? He relaxed.  _ What a hypocrite _ , Bill thought. He remembered how he tried many times to push Hillary preserving her for her future husband, but seeing her then with her future husband, was already driving him crazy. He couldn’t help it, he still  loved her. He  loved her deeply that for ten years he never looked for anyone else to replace her.

Bill followed the group going from one place to another. He stood in the back next to Paul. 

“You look like as if you wanted to throttle someone.”

Bill chuckled, “Am I?”

Paul nodded. “Have you swallowed a bug? Because you look terribly awful in frowning.”

“I just get bored with all of these touring.”

Paul laughed a little, “Aristocrats and their traditions.”

Bill kept silent.

“It’s an English thing, they show-off their estate, their  wealth , their wonderful families”, they both looked at Hillary who reached Richard’s hand and had their fingers intertwined. “Or how wonderful their wife is—to impress investors. Good life, good money.”

Bill frowned again. He had enough.

“Do you mind if I have your chauffeur drive me to the next estate later in the afternoon?”

Paul looked at him, and Bill added: “I have a friend who lives there.”

Paul smiled, “Of course, Billy. What is mine is yours.” He teased.

Bill shook his head, smiling. “If I win as a Governor, I’ll find you  a wife.”

Paul laughed, “Nut head.” He muttered.

#####

Bill went to the Rodhams’ late in the afternoon, intending to visit Hugh and Mr and Mrs Fields. Some of the workers there still recognized him and asked about what happened to him.

It was much easier to tell them that he had left to find his mother. He kept some of the information like working for Mrs. Grant and how he almost died going to Arkansas  private . It was better to keep those information to himself.

He felt an incredible sense of nostalgia of how things changed for him being in the estate. First Bill caught up with Mr. Fields who ran up to him and embraced him like a long lost son.

“I cannot believe it! My boy is back!” He said smiling at him, holding him.

“Not yet, but I intend to take you and Mrs. Fields with me in Arkansas. I have money now and I can buy you a cottage.”

Mr. Fields looked at him and touched his chin, his eyes glassy. “I am only glad to see you alive, Billy.”

He held him once more. “Have you seen Linda?”

Bill shook his head. “I should take you to her. She will be thrilled to see you.”

Bill beamed thinking about his second mother. “I’ll pay her a visit myself.”

Apparently, Mr and Mrs. Rodham were in Europe that time and Hugh was on his way home, so Bill had the time to roam around. He made his way towards the kitchen, exactly where he  knew Mrs. Fields spends her time.

And true to his prediction, Mrs. Fields was already cooking for supper.

“Can you hand me that bigger pot?” She said without turning around mistaking Bill as one of her assistants.

“Sure, ma’am.”

Mrs. Fields spun around, her mouth opened in surprise. 

“Billy!” She exclaimed. “Oh, My God, Billy!” She cried coming to him holding him close. “Thank you, Jesus you are alive, son!” She cried, she pressed her face on his chest. “All my life…!” She sobbed, she reached to touch his face and Bill’s eyes blurred with tears. “I’ve been always praying for your safety, Billy!” She wept.

Bill held her until Mrs. Fields calmed down. After a while they both talked avoiding Hillary in their discussion. Bill didn’t want to bring it up, not yet, anyway. Instead, Bill mentioned his plan to bring her and Mr. Fields  to Arkansas.

“I cannot… well, we cannot do that, son.” She said holding Bill’s hands.

“But I don’t want you to work anymore. You can be with me and my mother.”

She shook her head. “My place is in here.”

Bill nodded. Mr. And Mrs. Fields’ had already grown to love the Rodham’s like they were their own, there was already a sense of kinship. “Okay, however, on your retirement, I want you to be with me instead, that’s non-negotiable. I will take care of you, Mr. Fields and my mother.”

Mrs. Fields nodded and she reached to touch his cheek. “You are still a sweet, wonderful boy.”

“I wouldn’t become one without your love.”

Bill stayed at the Rodhams waiting for Hugh to arrive, when he stood at the porch and watched the colors of the sky  changing, he remembered his youth. He did not know what  he wanted  to become then, and it made him smile for how far he had gone through in life. 

He walked around and went to his room in the stables. He smiled a little looking at his small room and the single cot. It was still there. He touched the wall and felt how surreal it was to think that he had managed to get past through his situation.

Bill never felt more disconnected in his life. Seeing Hillary seemingly happy with Jack made his gut twist. She had chosen him, but that did not mean that he had given up the fight. 

He did not go that far to lose her. 

He sighed until he looked at the scene before him, he managed to  reach the oak tree by the river unconsciously.

Bill felt incredibly sentimental as he walked closer and reached the edge of the river. He took off his coat and draped it on his arm as he took the scene before him. It was that place where he and Hillary made a lot of memory together. It was there where they both nourished their love for one another. He couldn’t describe the sense of loss that he felt  by standing there alone, while the very reason for his existence was in the arms of another man.

“What are you doing here?”

It was said in very faint whisper that it might have been the wind. But he knew that voice like the beat of his heart. He turned and in front of him stood the only person he loved.

“Hillary,” he said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope Chapter 8 is not as underwhelming! HAHAHA the intense part will be on the next! Anyway I hope you like the update irregardless.
> 
> Thanks to J and L who are my wonderful partners here.


	9. Chapter 9

“What are you doing here?” Hillary repeated with an  edgy tone in her voice.

“Hillary…” Bill said taking a step toward her, but Hillary immediately took a step back prompting Bill to stop. They both assessed each other like a predator stalking a prey. But both didn’t know who was preying who.

For Bill though it was his only chance to talk to her; he calculated his moves, even what he was going to say for fear of scaring her away.

“What the hell do you think you are doing here?” She asked louder this time.

Bill held her gaze, then responded calmly. “I’m here for Hugh.”

His response seemed to upset her and she said straightforwardly, “If you are waiting for Hugh, wait for him in his study not here.”

Bill could see that Hillary was angry. But anger was an understatement because she was seething, her face becoming red. Hillary went back to their estate  not willing to see Bill. She wanted a reprieve and  told Richard that she would be visiting her home. As usual, when she arrived in their estate, she immediately went to her favorite spot. She felt calm and at peace, but she slowed down when she found someone standing near the edge of the river.

The moment that she saw the back of Bill’s head, she felt a sense of protectiveness of her  favorite spot . She did not want him there. 

He had tarnished their hideaway when he left her, thus she believe d that he had no right to visit her sanctuary like as if he was even  welcomed there .

“Hillary…”

“Leave this instant!” She shouted.

Bill held her gaze thinking what to do, then he thought that he didn’t want to provoke her further, so even without being urged again, he nodded and left. 

Hillary watched Bill walk away, her fist closed so tightly that her fingers were biting into her palms. She couldn’t understand it but her anger for him resurfaced, that it was overwhelming her. Initially, she thought that she no longer felt anything for him, but her anger had been undeniable. In fact, while she watched Bill walking away she wanted to hurl something at the back of his head. She wanted to hurt him, to slap him until her hands could no longer feel anything.

She was so angry that she felt her eyes stinging as her tears threatened to fall. 

_ How dare he come back here? _ She thought but she was not satisfied with only shouting at him, so she marched following him and when he was near to reach, she grasped his wrist making Bill turn, then her palm  struck his cheek.

“How dare you set your feet  in this place!” She shouted, then she slapped him again, and again, and again, and again to make up  for all the pain that she had felt, and Bill did not even protect himself. He did not stop her, allowed her to hit him on both on his cheek s so hard and repeatedly that the sound of her palm hitting his face echoed around them.

_ “I want you to remember this, Billy,” Hillary said one day when they were kids, while he lay on her lap under the oak tree. “In the Gospel of Matthew, Jesus said ‘if anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also.’” _

_ Bill laughed. “Why? I am not going to do that.” _

_ Hillary brushed his hair. “Repay them with understanding and love not hate, Billy!” _

She did it over and over again until her palm turned hot and stinging and only stopped when she got tired. Hillary didn’t notice that she stood next to him and Bill had his hands on her arm to steady her.

She looked up at him unsatisfied that he did not even fight back or showed that he was hurt. When she looked up at him, she saw that Bill’s cheek had trail of his tears. She felt like as if someone punched her.

“Are you satisfied now?” He asked, his voice cracked.

Hillary remembered how sensitive she was in  front of his pain, just like when they were young that she had to hold him while Mrs. Fields tended to his wound. She didn’t want him to be hurt and she was very protective of him. 

_ It was ironic to be the one hurting him then; to hurt him for the first time in their life. _

She glared at him again through tears, “Do you think,” she said, “that you can come back here and turn my whole world upside down? That I will be that forgiving?”

Bill just stared at her stormy eyes as she continued. “I am not sure what are you doing here, but you don’t get to hurt me anymore,” She said with conviction. “I am not going to let you ruin my life again.” Then she left him alone standing.

#####

“How is the campaign going?” Hugh asked, a little later after they arrived inside his study.

“It’s going smooth, exactly as I planned. I need to pick up again after this… this engagement party.” Bill responded looking outside Hugh’s study. The sun had already set and was already replaced by moon. 

Hugh looked at Bill’s back and said, “Have you seen Hillary already?”

“I  have .”

Bill did not elaborate anymore. What he and Hillary had was just between the two of them. Admittedly, though, what happened earlier was something he did not expect.  _ Well, what was he expecting anyway?  _ He had hurt her deeply and maybe it was what he deserved. He was still confused with how he would pursue or talk to her to make her understand. He never saw her angry, not with him him at least. It was also the first time that she hurt him.

When Hillary left, Bill had to go back to his room in the stable and try to compose himself. He hated what he did to her ten years  earlier . But leaving her was the only key to give her a life she deserve d . The only mistake he  made was, that he did not explain why he left and it took him so long to come back. He stayed there in his room for a while, then returned outside just in time when Hugh arrived.

“So what’s your plan?” Hugh asked.

Bill took a deep breath. Bastard as he was he would still pursue Hillary. He would do whatever it  took to win her back.

“Still pursue her.”

“You know you are breaking a happy couple. I told you, you should have come back here before Richard came into the picture.” Hugh said, and got tired trying to convince him. So he stopped beating around the bush and suggested frankly with: “Why don’t you just let them go?”

Bill spun around to look at him and responded bitingly: “Let her go? We did not come this far to give up the fight.”

Hugh shook his head. “Hillary loves—“

“I…” Bill said cutting him. “I will go if Hillary told me that she no longer feels anything for me.”

Hugh looked at Bill and he saw a glint in his eyes that told him that Bill was on a mission.

“If you hurt my sister—“

“I won’t hurt her.”

Hugh sighed. “Anyway, let’s attend the dinner at Richard’s place. I believe we are expected there.”

#####

Hillary looked at the mirror in her vanity checking out her black evening dress. Her earlier confrontation with Bill caught her off guard. She did not like how she acted there, she only got hold of herself when she went back to her car to be driven back to Richard’s estate. While sitting there she replayed the scene in her head and thought what she could have done to make it better.

Seeing Bill in her sanctuary that they used to share, made her snap. 

However, if she could turn back in time, she would have politely told him to  wait in her brother’s study. She should have been indifferent, shown him that he no longer had any power on her, not even emotionally.

She shook her head and took a deep breath, if they dined later, she would show a great restraint.

Hillary turned her head toward the door as she heard a faint knocking followed by Richard’s voice, “Darling, we really need to go.”

“I’ll be there.” She responded before she took a last look in the mirror and headed to the door to meet Richard.

“Wow,” Richard exclaimed looking at Hillary. Her hair was neatly combed and shone brightly, her golden studded dress that had fitted her to perfection showed the creamy skin of her chest and bared her arms.  _ She was as every bit as a Countess _ , Richard thought.

“You look lovely as the night, my lady,” Richard complimented giving her his arm.

Hillary smiled and placed her hand on his arm as they made their way towards the grand staircase leading towards the ballroom where their guests were waiting for them.

Bill sipped his brandy talking to Paul and some of Paul’s friends. Paul introduced Bill as a contender in running for Governor in Arkansas. Paul spoke highly of Bill, selling his achievements and ideas to some of the influential guests. Bill was midway in sipping his tumbler when they turned to look at the grand staircase as Hillary descended with Richard beside her.

Bill felt like as if he was in trance. Hillary was a sight to behold, so graceful, so elegant in her dress. She was the star of the night and shone brightly that even Richard faded in the background.

He watched as Hillary started talking to their guests. Bill, all the while, just watched until they arrived in their circle.

“Having a great time, gentlemen?” Richard asked.

“This is really grand, Dorsey,” Paul responded then he turned to Hillary. “May I say that you look like an angel sent from heaven to help us atone for our sins, madam?” Paul joked kissing the air above her hand.

“You flatter my fiancée too much,” Richard responded.

“Ah, but no, look at the gentleman, they couldn’t keep their eyes away from your would-be wife. You are lucky, Dorsey.”

Hillary smiled feeling her neck prickle as she felt Bill’s presence beside her.

“Well, Good evening Paul,” she said then turned to Bill and nodded without meeting his eyes, “Mr. Clinton, and gentlemen.”

After a while Hillary stood next to Paul’s sister Antonette who was drinking a sweetened punch and talking to one of their guest. “Never seen such man, he looks ruggedly handsome though.” She heard.

“Heard that he  is a contender running for Governor in Arkansas.”

Hillary grabbed a goblet to drink and then heard someone  comment again. “Does anyone know him?”

Hillary turned to Antonette as Hugh, her brother, arrived in their circle to grab a punch. “You know him, Hugh?”

Hugh turned to Antonette with a blank expression on his face. “Who?”

“That man dancing with an old lady.”

Hillary looked again at Bill who was smiling down at the elderly, gracing her with his charm. Hillary knew that Bill always had the  ability to make the people around him feel important and not neglected. He would choose to dance with the wallflowers than compete for the hand of the belle of the night.

“Oh, that’s William Jefferson Clinton. He’s an old family friend.” Hugh responded, interrupting Hillary’s thoughts. 

“Can you introduce us?”

“No problem at all,” Hugh responded without hesitation, taking Antonette in the middle of the dance floor. 

When they reached Bill and the elderly, Hugh briefly introduced Bill to Antonette then Hugh stolen the elder in Bill’s hand so Bill and Antonette could dance.

Hillary watched as Bill and Antonette started dancing and talking. She did not know why but she was starting to feel uncomfortable watching them.

“Darling, the dinner is about to be served. Let’s head to the dining area?”

Hillary nodded as Richard ushered her to the dining area. Richard helped Hillary to her seat, then he sat next to her. The guests had already taken their seats on the long table. Unfortunately, Paul sat facing Richard, and Bill sat opposite Hillary.

Hillary wanted to groan in annoyance.  _ Of all seating position! Why did he have to sit there? _ She glared at Bill unconsciously and Richard saw Hillary’s stare that he had to lean toward her and ask: “Are you okay?”

She turned to Richard and heaved a sigh, remembering what she told herself: she wouldn’t allow him to affect her emotionally.

Hillary smiled at Richard then affectionately kissed his cheek. “Thank you for this wonderful night.”

Richard smiled down at her, his eyes gentle. “You’re welcome, dear.”

Bill’s grip hardened on his utensils. He believed that the blatant display of affection was meant to punish him and by God, it was working. He only relaxed his hold when Hugh tapped his glass to talk about Hillary and Richard as a couple distracting him.

“Richard or Jack I should say,” Hugh started. “Was our neighbor. He was always the good boy, always had been around his parents…” 

Bill wasn’t listening, in fact Hugh’s words were passing in his ears. While everyone was looking at Hugh who was seated on the same row with Bill at a far corner, Bill was staring openly at Hillary.

He did not turn his head. In fact, he barely blinked. He just stared at her openly and deliberately, while Hillary kept her profile turned to him. He knew she could feel his stare and just did not want their eyes to meet. She had been avoiding him, avoiding his eyes. It was a wonder how she did not strain her muscles from keeping her head in that angle.

Then they all clapped and toasted for Hillary and Richard. Richard smiled sweetly at Hillary then kissed her temple. Then after a while, while everyone was eating and was having quiet conversation, Richard surprised everyone by suddenly asking:

“Where’s your wife mr.Clinton?”   
  
Bill turned to Richard and stopped midway from drinking his wine. He peered over his glass looking at the gentleman seated next to Hillary. Hillary continued chewing her food slowly as if uncomfortable by the direction of the discussion.   
  
“I don’t have any wife, Mr.Dorsey.”   
  
Antonette who was sitting next to Hillary  leaned interested , and asked, “You mean you are single?”   
  
“Are you not seeing anyone?”  another person asked .   
  
Bill turned to look at them. “I am not seeing anyone.”   
  
Paul who was sitting next to Bill gave him a friendly nod. “Tell them what you told me, Bill.”   
  
“Tell us what?”   
  
Before Paul could even spill it, Bill beat him to it. “I am in love with someone.”   
  
Hillary felt as she swallowed a stone instead of a New York beef steak, she turned her eyes to him and felt a shock of electricity when their eyes met.   
  
“Oh, juicy.” Someone teased.   
  
Bill continued to hold her gaze too boldly in the presence of everyone. “I’ve loved her since we were children. I promised that I would never love anyone else, just as she made me promise that I would only love her best.”   
  
They were all ears now, while Hillary felt the heat from her chest spread to her cheeks.   
  
“And you kept your promise?”  another question from someone at the table .   
  
“I never had loved anyone ever since...”   
  
There were some  _ oohs _ and  _ aahs _ around the table while Hillary gripped her utensils so hard that her knuckles turned white.   
  
“Where is she now?” Someone asked.

“Does she  know that you still love her?”

There  was so much noise as some of the guest started to become curious about Bill’s story. There was so much commotion that it got to Hillary’s nerves.

  
“Stop!” Hillary snapped, turning few heads around the table to her. “W... we should stop badgering Mr. Clinton about his affairs! It is unbecoming!”   
  
“Oh, come on, Hillary!” Someone whined. But Hillary had enough of it.   
  
“If you are going to spend the time gossiping, I am leaving.” She said firmly. Richard touched her arm.   
  
She turned to look at Richard who held her gaze trying to calm her but Hillary just couldn’t stop herself. She couldn’t be at the same table discussing Bill’s past, not when it still wounded her.   
  
“I am sorry,” she said turning to them. “I suddenly found this direction of discussion inappropriate.” She said as she quietly pushed back her chair, but when she stood up, Bill stood as well. Her gaze lingered with his with anger before she turned around and left them all stunned.

Richard eyed Bill suspiciously before he stood as well apologizing for Hillary’s departure he then followed her. Bill remained standing his head turned to where Hillary had left. He looked at Paul and everyone  at the table as an awkward silence engulfed them, Hugh was looking at Bill with disappointment.

“Sit down, Bill.” Paul muttured.

#####

Hillary talked to Richard and apologized for her outburst, and Richard understood it, thinking that it wasn’t her fault.

“I understand, my dear,” Richard said as they stood on the balcony. He stood behind her, his arms around her stomach.

“In fact I should be the one apologizing. I shouldn’t have raised that question to our guest inciting excitement for the rest.”

Hillary stiffened deciding whether or not to tell Richard that she was the person that Bill was referring to.

“Richard,” Hugh called, they both turned where Hugh was standing. “The gentlemen are going to start playing poker. Care to join us?”

Richard looked at Hillary and she nodded. “Go, enjoy your night.”

Hillary stayed in the balcony looking at the dark horizon until she heard someone arriving. Even before she turned around she already knew who it was.

“I knew you’d come here…” she said, turning around finding Bill standing a few meters away from her. How her body responded made Hillary grit her teeth in annoyance because watching him standing there with his hair slightly being ruffled by the wind, made her fingers itch to touch them. 

There  was also something else that she noticed, like why the ember in her heart that she thought had long died still  cast a faint glow inside. It terrified her what that ember was capable to do, because she felt that long enough, it would set her heart ablaze in longing for the past that they had lost.

She thought she was over him, but maybe she never truly was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much J and H. You've always been so supportive. To people who continue to support. Thanks.


	10. Chapter 10

“I knew you’d come here,” Hillary said.

They both looked at each other, holding each other’s gaze. Bill stood next to her with a comfortable distance. He propped his hands on the concrete baluster railing in the balcony looking at the starry dark sky then contemplated what he was going to say but found himself tongue tied.

 _Sorry seemed not enough_ , he thought.

“What are you doing here, Bill?” She asked softly, he for a moment thought it was a whisper of the wind.

Bill sighed and briefly looked at her. “I am hoping that we could talk.”

Hillary turned to him, a frown on her face. “Why?”

Bill turned to look at her. “Why?” He asked incredulously.

“There’s no need to talk, Bill. You certainly didn’t want to talk before you left, why talk now?”

Bill searched her face and wondering where was the Hillary he has loved, that soft and forgiving girl, but all he saw was a woman hardened by the experience in life … and maybe of love.

“I made a mistake—“

“A mistake!” she almost yelled.

“Can you let me finish?” Bill asked firmly making Hillary stop.

“The only mistake that I made, was that I did not tell you my plans, because I know you would insist to come with me.”

Hillary nodded then said scathingly, “So you planned it all and took the opportunity to sleep with me because I was so naive and so willing to do so, so you’d have a souvenir to take with—“

Bill suddenly moved, pulling her wrist tugging her, “I am not an opportunist as you think!” He said, he pressed her body against his.

“I did not plan to sleep with you then, I planned to leave that morning…” his eyes gentled, “but I was so in love with you—“

“No!” Hillary interrupted panicking. She couldn’t hear those words. She moved her arms between their bodies to give space. “Let go of me, Bill!”

“Hillary, listen to me.” Bill cajoled.

“No, let go! I’m not going to listen to your lies anymore!” She said struggling against his arms. But Bill held her. “Let go or I am going to scream!”

“Hillary please…” Bill begged.

Hillary immediately stopped struggling, hearing the plea from Bill’s voice, then he relaxed.

“I didn’t want to hurt you. I am so sorry that I left that way…”

Hillary just looked at his face and said, “Even if you apologize, it can no longer bring back the past.”

Hillary distanced herself from him then she turned and walked away, but before she left him, she added quietly: “I think it’s best if you stay away from me.”

#####

That night while Hillary laid on her bed alone she thought about what happened. After she had departed the balcony and left Bill she went back inside and searched for Richard and when she found him laughing while playing pool, her heart sank. She felt guilty, because she knew that her love for him couldn’t be compared to the one she felt for Bill.

To be honest, she didn’t want to feel that any longer, it was a curse to be emotionally tied up to Bill. The moment that he begged her she immediately stopped fighting and went pliant in his arms. It was how he called her that brought her back to when they were kids.

She was reminded of how strong their emotional connection was because even though she was inside the mansion, if Bill hurt himself or in deep pain, she would immediately know. She would drop whatever she was be doing and would go searching for him.

She closed her eyes thinking that she needed to forget him, needed to stop from feeling anything for him.

Hillary only took a few hours of sleep when she stirred and heard a groan. She blinked and wondered what it was, she tried to ignore it but the groaning continued.

She rolled out from her bed, took her robe and went out of her bedroom. The hallways were dark. The floor was cold on her bare feet. She turned her head on the door next to her and heard the groan coming from … the guest room next to hers. She blinked.

Suddenly Hillary remembered it, like a flashback: the servant came to her asking where to place Paul Andrew’s guest.

 _“Apparently, sir Richard’s guest Paul Andrews came with a guest and requested for a separate room which one do you want him to be placed at?”_  
  
And she remembered her answer!

_“Sure, place the guest there.”_

It couldn’t be… But it couldn’t be wrong! She had accidentally selected Bill to sleep next to her bedroom.

She stilled.

She did not want to get inside his room. No, of course not. It would be a disaster if someone saw her going inside his room. But she looked at the door again when she heard Bill groan. Even though she was tempted to check on him, she didn’t. She turned around and went back to her bed.

After few minutes, she still couldn’t sleep. She was clutching the bedsheets from stifling her urge to check on Bill. She tried to ignore him but she just couldn’t do so and for the last time she tried to assess the situation. She would just take a peek then she would leave him alone. With that already set in her mind, she went tip-toeing to his room.

Bill’s room was dark and the only light was coming from the glass door of his balcony. She found him sleeping on the king size bed, his comforter landed on his stomach. From where she stood he was a silhouette shadowed by the darkness in the room but she could see the rise and fall of his bare chest. She went closer then she saw his eyes rapidly moving, his head turning as if he was having a nightmare. She wanted to gently shake and wake him up, but then she stopped thinking when she saw that he turned his head where she stood.

 _Is he awake?_ She thought. 

She looked at his face and saw that his eyes were shut. But then his eyes seemed to have stopped moving, even his head, and his body relaxed. He seemed to be aware of her presence, but he was asleep.

When she was assured that he was okay, she was supposed to return to her bedroom but Hillary’s attention got distracted by his bare chest and his relaxed face.

 _He is still as handsome as ever,_ she thought.

Her eyes roamed his face as if she was drawing it. She took notice of the things that had changed, then her eyes went to his hair, so thick, and had a combination of light and dark brown. He was growing a premature gray hair she thought amusedly.

She inched closer, she slightly extended her hand unconsciously, when she was near to touch, but suddenly stiffened.

She pulled back her hand afraid that the light touch might bring back a wave of memories she was trying to suppress. No, she couldn’t feel any gentleness for him, not now.

She slowly backed, then turned ready to leave his room but when she was near to reach the knob she heard him say so faintly her name.

“Hillary…”

#####

“I’m curious, just curious, Bill,” Paul said early in the morning when he and Bill were walking on the grounds of Ricard’s estate.

Bill side-eyed him, and Paul continued, “Do you and Hillary know each other?”

Bill squinted then turned his head to look at him briefly wondering if he should tell everything to Paul, but then he asked instead: “Why do you ask?”

Paul pursed his lips, then responded: “Well, there was that scene in the dinner, and I just noticed that she stares at you when you both are in the same room.”

Bill chuckled. “You are observing then?”

Paul laughed. “Ah, you know me, I am a great observer.”

“Yeah, right,” Bill snickered.

“But honestly, what’s with the two of you?”

Bill placed his hands in his pocket looking at Paul contemplating. “Well, we know each other.”

Paul’s jaw fell and was about to speak when they got interrupted.

“Mr. Clinton, Mr. Andrews! Good morning!”

Paul and Bill turned and found Antonette Dorsey and some of her friends also enjoying a morning walk.

“Where are you heading, gentlemen?” Antonette asked, her accent heavy in English.

“Somewhere where our feet will lead us.” Paul responded.

The ladies approached them and Bill and Paul both nodded at them, “Good morning Ms. Croft, and Ms. Danvers.”

“Where are you heading ladies?” Paul asked in return.

“Wherever our feet will lead us, Mr. Andrews,” Antonette responded cheekily, making her friends giggle. She turned her eyes towards Bill who was standing next to Paul and asked, “Do you mind, Mr. Andrews if I invite your friend for a walk?”

“Do you as you please, I am afraid I am starting to bore him.”

“Is it okay to walk with you, Mr. Clinton?”

Bill smiled briefly, “It’ll be my pleasure, Ms. Dorsey.”

#####

Hillary stood on the balcony facing the grounds of Richard’s estate. She was not able to sleep well the night before, partly because of Bill’s presence near her own bedroom. When she returned to her bed, she heard his groan again; she covered her ears but stayed up all night worried and stifling the urge to wake him up. She really shouldn’t care but she couldn’t help it. So even with her repressed urgings, she slept, eventually.

“We’ll have the guys play the Polo this weekend. Finch told me that they’ll be getting some horses brought in by Friday.” Richard said standing next to Hillary watching their guest wander around while some were playing croquet, and others were simply strolling. “Sunday night will be the big night.”

Hillary wasn’t listening, she was watching Bill and Antonette from afar walking and chatting. Antonette was making subtle gestures which Hillary could identify as flirting. It was in the way how Antonette would tilt her head to the side showing her neck to Bill and would laugh throwing her head back. The _idiot_ man reciprocated by giving his attention to her. Giving her his arm and simply laughing at her jokes. She glared at his direction.

“Diane…” Richard said getting her attention. She turned to look at him and found him looking at her with a look of question in his eyes, then he turned his gaze where she was looking at, Hillary dropped her eyes on her hands trying not to look guilty.

“William Jefferson Clinton,” Richard said. “He’s an interesting chap, heard great things about him from Paul. He seems to have high regards of the man.” Then he turned to look at her. “Do you know him?”

Hillary turned her eyes on him. It was on the tip of her tongue to tell him of their past, but she was afraid to open it up for fear that they would be reopening their (hers mostly) wounds. She was saved from answering him when Hugh arrived calling Richard.

“Dorsey, come and look at this…”

Richard took a last look at Hillary then turned and went to Hugh. Hillary remained where she was. She looked back at where Bill and Antonette went and saw that they joined Paul’s circle and a little later, Paul and Bill started walking together returning Antonette to her friends.

Hillary was looking at Bill intensely, her hands that were propped on the concrete railings were closed. She didn’t know that she was holding her breath and even getting annoyed. She closed her eyes as she berated herself for being irrational. She turned around and headed back toward the house hoping for her mood to change.

For some reason, Hillary was still in foul mood. Although, Bill has avoided her, she noticed how much Antonette and he have been spending time together. In fact, they came into the dining room together when the supper was served.

When Hillary took her seat next to Richard and Paul sat opposite him, she already braced herself for Bill. But to her surprise, Bill took a seat almost on the corner sitting next to Antonette.

 _Well, that’s better,_ she thought annoyed.

She tried to enjoy eating her meal but it felt like she was eating a rubber instead. She felt disconnected with the discussions because a part of her was focused with what was happening between Bill and Antonette who seemed to be discussing something interesting.

She turned her attention back to Richard who was discussing shipping expansion business with Paul and another guest. Hillary tried to join the conversation and tried to find something interesting about it. However, their attention turned towards Bill’s seat when Antonette laughed out loud along with those who was sitting next to Bill.

Hillary looked at him and while she didn’t want to feel anything for him, and try as she might to ignore it, she felt a certain _je ne sais quoi_ , something akin to misery.

When the dinner ended, Hillary joined Richard and went to discuss more about business and their pending wedding. From where they stood in the corner of the ballroom, she could see Bill and Antonette outside the ballroom in the balcony. They stood facing each other, Bill was speaking while Antonette was listening attentively with a smile on her face. Then Antonette leaned towards Bill with a coy smile on her face, then they left the balcony heading towards the garden.

Hillary looked at the goblet that she was gripping. _What could they possibly be doing in garden?_

She already knew that most couple who escaped to the garden would either steal moments together. Share a kiss. But perhaps more than that?

The view of the goblet suddenly blurred with her tears gathering on her eyes. She was so confused and angry that it was wreaking havoc on her emotion.

“I have to go Richard,” Hillary said, she left without waiting for Richard to respond.

#####

Bill just finished taking a shower that night, after an hour of spending time mingling with Richard and Hillary’s guest. He tried to stay away from Hillary in the meantime, because it was what she wanted, but also, he believed that somehow, she still felt something for him. He could feel it, and he wanted to bank on that.

When he finished taking a shower, he donned a cotton robe then got out brushing the back of his head with the towel. His room was dimmed, then he felt a prickling sensation behind his neck.

He turned around and found Hillary inside his bedroom, sitting on the settee in the darkened corner. Although he should have been surprised, he wasn’t. For some reason, a part of him expected her to come to him that night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for your support. Sorry for the late update. I really had a hard time writing with all the negative message that I get, but I have a great friends who kept telling me to continue the story. Thank you. I hope you like the story. ❤
> 
> I want to thank, J - for beta'ing me L - for always being there for me.


	11. Chapter 11

Hillary looked at Bill feeling her heartbeat escalating. She went there to talk to him, to tell him to stay away from Antonette if he respected her. But as she stood there with him only wearing a robe, she felt herself tongue tied. She was then distracted by the skin of his chest peeking from the gap between his robe.

Bill spoke, his voice husky with a hint of Southern twang that seemed to have been warmed over low heat. “Why are you here, Hilly?”

He stood so close that she could smell the soap that he used, even his shampoo, and aftershave lotion. She felt her body heated as the urge to come closer and press her nose on that small curve on his jaw overcame her.

Bill watched Hillary’s chest rose and her blush crept from her chest to her cheeks. His eyes turned soft.

“I… I came here to tell you to stop flirting with Antonette,” she said unsteadily, her eyes dropping to his lips then back at his eyes and felt a rush of heat on her cheeks.

Bill nodded solemnly, and he took a step closer, “Okay,” he whispered, but then like in dream-like motion, he slid his hands underneath her jaw and slowly leaned to kiss her.

The moment that their lips touched, a jolt ran through her body, making feel her alive after years of drought. She felt her tears rising to her eyes, her knees weakeaning as Bill held her head in place and softly fitted their lips together.

She had been waiting for that for ten years, to be held again by the only person she had ever loved, the man she thought she had lost. Hillary didn’t even notice that her tears rolled down on her cheeks until Bill rubbed them with his thumbs, then he gently enveloped her in his arms to embrace her.

She didn’t immediately react, because she was feeling guilty for allowing him to kiss and embrace her. But she couldn’t help it, it felt so good to be in his arms.

“I miss you, Darling,” she heard him whisper lightly kissing the curve of her shoulder. Then Bill let go of her as he slowly slid down and kneel in front of her. He made a mistake that was the reason of why they were in that situation. He miscalculated and he deserved her hate and also to lose her.

“I am so sorry for leaving you,” He whispered, his forehead resting on her stomach.

Hillary looked down at his dark-brown hair. She wanted to blame him but her heart was just as aching. She wanted to hate Bill but she couldn’t because her love for him was stronger.

Bill gripped her hips, not sure if she had or would even forgive him. Suddenly he felt her hand brush his and he melted. 

_ Finally _ .

Bill crawled his arms around her stomach pressing his face. She pulled him up and embraced him.

They weren’t sure where they were heading, but all that mattered to them was  that they were holding each other.

Hillary knew it was wrong, but it was also right at the same time, so she closed her eyes briefly. Just the need to feel him again and think that she was free to love him.

Bill could feel Hillary’s mind working, probably thinking that what she was doing was wrong and he knew it was. But the heart didn’t know what was wrong and what was right. 

Bill exhaled, breathing. It was all that he needed, to be sure that she still felt something for him. They stayed there holding each other, while Hillary softly sobbed.

For her it was a parting embrace, but for him, it was just their beginning. He would fight heaven and hell to get her back.

Then Hillary slowly pulled back from his embrace, she was looking at the floor, and he could still hear her sniff. He tipped her chin to look at her and the look of her wounded eyes undid him. He wanted to weep for her pain.

“Why did you come back too late, Billy?” She asked, an aching whisper.

“I…” Bill responded, not knowing what to say.

“I can’t… we can’t,” she said brokenly as her tears rolled down her cheeks continuously. 

She clapped her hands on her mouth to stifle the sob threatening to come out then turned and left his bedroom hurriedly.

Bill could only watch astounded as Hillary left his bedroom. Every step she took away from him broke his heart. 

He blamed himself because it took him so long to go back. If only he could go back in time…

But it was already late and pointless to regret the past. 

All he could do moving forward and make Hillary see that it would be worth it, if she chose him.

#####

Two days passed and Hillary had hard time finding the strength to ignore or forget Bill. They stayed away from each other. Bill also took her advice in staying away from Antonette. He hung out mostly with the  men , while Hillary stayed with Richard or with other women.

But there were things that they simply couldn’t hide. It wouldn’t be evident to others, but there were people who were familiar of their history, like Hugh.

He didn’t point it out to Bill or Hillary how obvious they were in throwing longing looks at each other, even if they were far across from each other. In fact, even if Hillary was with Richard, her eyes would casually wander across the room and search for Bill.

They thought that they were not noticed, well not for Hugh.

One night however, Bill was standing on the balcony alone puffing a cigar and enjoying a glass of cognac while the guests enjoyed mingling and dancing. He did not want to participate because the only person he wanted to  dance with, was in the company of her fiancé. Before he would totally lose his mind with jealousy, he excused himself and enjoyed a glass of alcohol and cigar outside instead. He was alone enjoying his time when Hugh decided to join him.

“Ah, there you are,” Hugh said clapping his hand on Bill’s back.

“Hugh,” Bill said in acknowledgment. He took out a cigar from his inside pocket and handed Hugh a roll.

“Not enjoying the party?” Hugh asked in muffled voice as he lighted his cigar.

Bill sighed, “I’ll enjoy it later after I finish this very fine liquor and cigar.”

Hugh eyed Bill, “What are you planning Bill?” He asked. They both  looked inside and saw Hillary sitting in one of the settee, talking to her guests.

Bill heaved a heavy sigh again, “The only plan I have is to win her back.”

Hugh shook his head, “Richard and Hillary…”

Bill turned his head to look at him, his eyes narrowed at Hugh giving him a warning, but Hugh continued in spite of his glare. “Richard loves her, and Hillary…”

“She loves me,” Bill ended for him, huffing his cigar once more annoyed.

Hugh frowned at his arrogance (or what he thought was), and Bill felt slightly irked by the thought that he had to defend his place in Hillary’s life. “I’m not going to do anything wrong, or even ruin it for her. I’m not going to force myself, if she  tells me to leave—and you have my word—I’ll leave.”

Bill dropped his cigar and stomped on it, “I still have time so all I plan to do is to dance with her tonight.” He added before finishing his glass in one gulp.

“Bill…” Hugh said with a hint of warning in his voice.

“Just one dance,” Bill promised leaving Hugh alone.

Hillary was laughing at her guest’s story about their children when Bill arrived and stood on her side. “I am sorry for disturbing you, but may I invite you for a dance?”

Hillary looked at Bill’s hand feeling her heart in her throat. If she ignored his hand, it would cause her a scene. While she danced with others, she thought it wouldn’t be bad to dance with him.

Smiling she took his hand. “You may. It’ll be my pleasure to dance with you.”

Bill guided her to the dance floor as they were dancing a simple waltz. Hillary took a whiff of his scent: tobacco and liquor.

“Did you drink and smoke?” She asked, her nose wrinkled.

“Yeah, I did,” Bill responded looking down at her, a teasing smile played on his lips remembering how she could easily identify the things that he was doing by his smell, then he added muttering “God, it feels wonderful to hold you again.”

Hillary felt her cheeks burn, but she didn’t want their conversation to turn somewhere else, so she said instead, “Stop smoking, Billy.”

Bill’s eyes narrowed at her contemplating her, then he sighed and said, “Okay.”

Hillary smiled at him. “Are you always obedient?” 

Bill took her question seriously and responded, “For you—yes. Only for you.”

Hillary took a sharp intake of breath by the sincerity of his words. She looked at Bill longingly remembering that he  hasn’t changed . He still automatically  listened to her.

“I would never dream of upsetting you, Darling,” he whispered.

Hillary bit her lips as they continued to dance.

Away from them, Richard stood on the second floor watching them. Hugh was beside him.

“Do Diane and William know each other?” He asked without taking his eyes from the couple dancing.

Hugh turned around, “What?” 

Richard nodded towards the dancers. “Do they know each other?”

Hugh felt someone dumped a glass of cold water on his back. Hillary and Bill’s longing stare and smiles were too intimate for casual friends.

Hugh cleared his throat, “Yes, they are friends.” He answered casually.

Richard sipped his drink, still looking at them.

Hugh diverted his attention, “Oh, look, I think Stephanson is already calling us for a game of poker.”

While he led Richard towards the room where they would be playing poker, he reminded himself to talk to Hillary the soonest.

#####

That night Bill went to his balcony, looking at Hillary’s balcony besides his. He wanted to see her, just to talk to her. Dancing with her earlier wasn’t enough, just like it always felt when they kids. He needed to be with her to talk to her, to feel her before he  slept .

It had been a long time since he did something as reckless as climbing walls for anything. But he would do it again that night. He smiled. He was ready.

He hoisted himself up to the wide railing of his balcony and climbed up. Hillary’s balcony wasn’t too far from his, only two meters away. He looked at the wall and saw a sill one foot wide connected to her. He flattened himself against the wall walking in side steps. After few steps he reached the concrete railing of her balcony, climbed up and jumped down landing with such grace.

He peeked inside by cupping his hands against the glass and saw Hillary brushing her hair. She turned around when she saw him there through the reflection of her mirror.

She felt her heart running against her chest. Bill  couldn’t be seen in her bedroom.

“What are you doing here?” She asked reaching him. She stood in front of him the glass sliding door in between them.

Bill smiled. “Let me in.”

“I cannot let you in,” Hillary said panicking.

“I just want to talk.” Bill coaxed.

“No.” Hillary said firmly.

Bill bit his lips thinking how the scene felt similar, then he started rattling the door like how he used to do it back then.

Hillary gaped not believing that he was using his old method on her. 

“Go away!” She said.

Bill shook his head, and Hillary reluctantly gave in and opened the door.

“Are you nuts?! What if someone saw you?” She asked turning around walking into the middle of her bedroom prompting him to follow her.

“I just want to talk,” Bill responded.

“Lower your voice someone might hear,” she chided.

Hillary faced him and was taken aback that Bill stood so close to her that she had to pull her head back to look at him.

“What do you want to talk about?” She asked whispering.

“Anything, just like the good old times.”

Hillary pressed her hand on her forehead, and Bill’s gaze turned down to her chest. He reached to tighten the knot of her robe, the slight graze of his finger on her body rought chill down her spine.

“Just making sure that you won’t tempt me enough,” he whispered teasingly.

Hillary closed her eyes, hating the plea in her voice. “Bill you cannot come here in my bedroom. We are no longer kids.”

Bill touched the side of her face and the way he looked at her; that gentle look on his eyes like as if he had been longing for her, undid her.

“I know. I won’t do anything you don’t like.” Bill responded leaning to drop a kiss on her lips but she turned her head to the side. Bill smiled noting that while she turned her face away she did not walk away from him nor stopped him. He dropped a kiss on her forehead instead.

“I’ll tell you my story, Hilly. Why don’t we sit on the side of your bed just like our earlier days?” He invited.

She looked at him, her rejection was on the tip of her tongue. She wanted to tell him that it was pointless for her to listen to his story or what happened to him because nothing was going to change her mind. She would still marry Richard.

She nodded reluctantly and Bill held her hand as they made their way to the side of her bed. Bill sat first and gave her his hand and Hillary instead of sitting beside Bill, mistook it and instead sat in the space between his thighs with her back against his front.

Bill swallowed and looked up. They used to sit that way and Hillary thought that he wanted her to sit there. In the end, he did not complain. The position would give him the chance to hold her he just prayed that she wouldn’t feel his growing erection and scare her away.

“So what happened?” She asked quietly.

Bill propped his chin on her shoulder and snaked his arms around her stomach pulling her closer. Hillary’s muscles leaped when he held her and the hairs at the back of her neck stood up.

Bill nuzzled the side of her neck, prompting Hillary to take a deep breath. 

“I forgot what happened,” Bill said jokingly as he started to nip her ears. “God, I want you.” He said raspy.

Hillary moved her head dislodging Bill’s lips. “If you are here to seduce me, you’re not going to succeed.”

Bill chuckled. “Don’t you dare challenge me.”

Hillary rolled her eyes, then playfully pinched his arms. “No, seriously, Bill. I can’t…” she said staring at him. Bill looked at her blue eyes and thought how sincere she was with her warning, and he got her message; she would still proceed with her marriage while playing fire with him.

Bill suddenly was reminded of his fear of Hillary being married to someone and with him being her lover whom she would only see if her husband was not around. She would be his secret and the thought made Bill sick.

He sighed and reached for her hand holding it. He squinted when he felt the slight bump on her hand, then he turned it to him and smiled at seeing the scar that he inscribed there.

_ WJC _

“Ever thine, ever mine, ever ours…” Bill said remembering that quote. Hillary turned to him, and her response, “Forever yours,” was at the tip of her tongue. She wanted to say it. They always completed that quote with someone responding “forever yours” but she didn’t want to promise anything.

Bill smiled though it did not quite reach his eyes. He understood it although there was a slight ache in his chest. He longed to hear the words from her, just to know that he was still hers.

He dropped a kiss on her scar and aligned it with his. Hillary noticed that his had grown more prominent. Bill smiled understanding the question in her eyes.

“Every year, I would slice it again so your initials would be prominent as ever.”

Hillary’s eyes turned huge as saucers. “You did that?”

Bill nodded. “I didn’t want your name to ever fade, Hilly.”

“Bill…”

Bill shook his head and rubbed his lips on the back of her hand. “I didn’t tell you this Hillary because I know you might think differently about me after this.”

“I won’t…”

Bill smiled sadly. “Don’t say something you might not know,” then he sighed and continued. “I left the estate because someone had offered a bigger salary for me.”

Hillary looked at him, wanting to say something but Bill cut her and said, “Keep your questions until I finish the story.”

Hillary nodded, “Go on.”

“Do you remember when Mrs. Grant called me in your father’s study one day?”

She nodded.

“She offered me to work for her and she would give me a salary bigger than I ever made. I know you might wonder if I left you for the money, it wasn’t that. I told Mrs. Grant that I didn’t need the money, but then she said that she also had information about my mother.”

Bill looked at her, but Hillary waited for him to continue. “So I was forced to accept it. To be honest, Hilly, I wouldn’t accept it if it was just the money. But you knew how much I wanted to find my mother.”

Hillary nodded, all through his life back then he would always wonder about his mother. She understood why he was compelled to take it.

“I loved you then Hilly. I love you so much now that it scares me that I may not be able to give you a better life. I have no savings, not much money. I’ve promised to make you a queen, but I have nothing. The information about my mother and the money that she offered  were too good for me to pass so I accepted the deal.”

Hillary looked at him and saw his eyes turned glassy. “I did it because I wanted to fix my past and offer a better future for you.”

Hillary reached to brush his hair feeling her heart clenching, then he continued. “I didn’t tell you then because I knew you would follow.”

Hillary smiled sadly, “You know me so well.”

“So I worked with Mrs. Grant as the caretaker of her estate, and of her horses…” he hovered, trying to prepare himself to confess it. “I was also her lover then.”

Bill felt Hillary’s body stiffening. “It was in her condition for me to sleep with her any time she wanted to, even though I wasn’t feeling like it—“

“She raped you?” she asked incredulously shocked.

“No, no, don’t think that she did. I accepted her condition and whored myself for her. I had to do it Hillary for our future and for my past. I was so desperate then. Do you understand?”

Hillary’s eyes turned glassy with tears thinking of his pain and the small choice that he had, he did all of that so he could buy their future.

“Why didn’t you tell me Billy?” She asked, she framed his face with both of her hands. “Why didn’t you let me help you?”

“What  could you do Hillary?” He asked.

“Saved you! She was using you and probably even forced you to have sex with her even if you  didn’t want to and it was wrong!”

Bill brushed her tears.

“Oh, my God! I cannot imagine!” She said brokenly and wrapped her arms around him. “I could’ve loved you better, fought for you harder. I’m so sorry I didn’t.” She said crying at the crook of his neck.

Bill rubbed her back. “It wasn’t your fault. I wasn’t lucky and I  had to work hard. It took me a while to get to finish my goals, in fact until right now, I am still working on it.”

Hillary shook her head and she pulled back to look at him. “I think you are doing well, look at you now.”

Bill leaned to kiss her cheek. “I still haven’t made you my queen yet.”

Hillary chuckled and held him again, then she heard him say. “I wanted to tell more, maybe I’ll continue next time.”

She nodded without dislodging her arms around him. “Thank you for telling me a part of it.”

Bill kissed the side of her neck. “I am not yet done telling everything, Darling.”

#####

In the estate, during the morning guests were given  horses to practice for the upcoming Polo game. While some men practiced, some women stayed on the side to watch them practice. Hillary stayed inside talking to the staff that was preparing the refreshments when suddenly Hugh came to her and invited her to walk with him outside.

They passed through the riders and Bill, who was among them raised his cowboy hat at them making Hillary blush.

Hugh did not miss the intimate greeting and thought that it was the best time to open up the topic.

“What’s going between you and Bill?” He asked when Bill was already away.

Hillary turned to her brother. “Nothing.”

Hugh sighed. “You both can’t be  any more  obvious. The way you both  look at each other is rather undeniable.”

Hillary looked at her hands guiltily.

“Do you love him, Hillary?”

Hillary turned to him, but before she could answer him they both heard some people shouting and saw men hurry where the men were practicing with their horses. They both turned to the commotion.

“Bill!” Hillary shouted seeing Bill laying on the ground. She felt her heart  leaping , her senses  heightening and her blood pumping. She needed to get to him. Everything about her scream to check on him.

She was ready to flee but Hugh gripped her arm stopping her. “Don’t! You’ll make a scene.” He said, warning her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am sorry that it took me some time to upload this. But I hope you liked it nonetheless. （＾ω＾）
> 
> I am so thankful to my beta. I hope she can allow me to name drop her because she's really amazing. She has been helping me with my grammar. It might've been embarrassing to be this idiot in grammar but I think she never judges me (or so I think hahaha! but no seriously, I think she doesn't think that I am an idiot). And of course, you my dear readers. Thank you for the support. If there's anything you want to suggest or tell me (constructive criticism is okay) let me know. 
> 
> Happy Easter to all of you. ღゝ◡╹)ノ♡


	12. Chapter 12

Hillary’s eyes dropped on Hugh’s hand, her eyes pleading and full of worry.

“You stay here, Hillary. I will see him.”

“Please, Hugh,” Hillary begged. She pressed her hand on her lips as she whispered a prayer to Bill because from where she stood he was still on the ground.

She couldn’t stay there. If she continued to see Bill in that situation, she might do something reckless (such as go to him and hold him like she used to do). But she stifled the urge by pinching her palms with her fingernails.

“Please be okay, Billy. Please be okay.” She whispered.

The men did not want to move him for fear to make matters worse.

“Bill?” Hugh asked as he kneeled beside him.

“I am fine,” Bill breathed looking at the sky before him. He was about to alight the horse, but he outbalanced and fell landing badly on his left foot twisting it. “I might have broken or sprained my ankle.”

“Okay, we won’t touch you might have other broken bones. They’ve already called an ambulance.”

Hillary watched from afar. She could still feel her heartbeat beating fast in her chest and was still anxious. She had to know that he was okay. She would calm down only when Hugh would go back to her to tell her that he was okay. But before Hugh could deliver the news to her, Richard arrived.

“Are you okay Diane?” Richard said coming up from behind. His hand resting on her waist. He looked at the commotion ahead.

“What happened?”

“One of the guest fell from the horse, but he’s okay,” Hugh responded nonchalantly.

“Must be a bad rider,” Richard said conclusively.

“Bill is good rider!” Hillary retorted turning to him.

Richard faced her with a look of surprise in his eyes. It was the first time that Hillary raised her voice at him.

Hillary seemed to be surprised as well; that outburst made her cheeks turn pink. She shook her head and hurriedly turned around and went back to the mansion. Richard watched her retreating form contemplating what was going on.

***

Hillary watched from the window when the ambulance arrived she heaved a sigh when she saw Bill moved and seemed far from danger.

Hugh and Richard watched as Bill was taken into the ambulance. Paul stood beside them as well.

“I think he outbalanced,” Paul replied watching the ambulance drive away.  
“Where did you meet this guy, Paul?” Richard said not taking his eyes off the ambulance. He wasn’t concerned about Bill. He was, however, curious about Hillary’s response to him. It caught him off-guard. She had never raised her voice at him, but the way she had burst earlier made him very curious.

Hillary had been undeniably very different lately: he did not want to mention that maybe she was having anxiety about their upcoming party, where they would be giving their pre-wedding messages. She had been very busy and excited about it until the engagement party kicked-off few days earlier.

He tried to rewind everything in his head from the moment that guy, William Jefferson Clinton, arrived.

“What?” Paul asked blinking confused by the sudden turn of the conversation.

Richard turned his head to look at him. “That William Jefferson Clinton, where did you meet him?”

“In New York.”

Hugh shifted on his stand trying not give a hint that he knew how Paul and Bill met. He was the one who had given the information to Bill.

Richard looked at Hugh and Paul thinking, rebuilding all the story he had heard. He did not say anything more but instead walked back into the mansion.

Richard found Hillary in their study reading something. She wore her thick eyeglasses while reading the contents of the letter. “Diane,” he said softly.

She turned her head and took her eyeglass off and placed them on the table. “Richard,” she said walking to him, meeting him half-way.

“I am so sorry about earlier,” Hillary suddenly said when she reached him. She wrapped her arms around him and held him. She inhaled his perfume; it was so different from Bill’s woody and spice musk, whereas Richard used a very light and clean one.

Richard embraced her tight. “It’s okay.” He dropped a kiss on her forehead. “I didn’t know that he was a good rider. How did you know that?” He asked.

Hillary pulled back, but she had thought about this earlier. “He mentioned it to me once.”

Richard nodded. “I noticed that you seemed angry earlier, what happened?”

“I’m so sorry about that,” she said then she turned around finding the conversation awkward, she put some distance between them and stood next to the window. “I wasn’t having a great time with Hugh and I thought that your comment was rather very unkind to our guest who was hurt.”

Richard approached her then placed both of his hands her shoulders. “You’re right.”

Why are you lying, Diane? He thought as he looked over the view outside where Hillary was looking too. But while he stood there behind her, holding her shoulders his mind was working, stitching the information he heard, and it struck him how mysterious the story was, involving the Clinton guy and the more he heard about him, the more curious he became.

Bill did not overstay in the hospital. In fact, he was back after a couple of hours but when he returned to the estate, he went back to his room and stayed there all throughout the time. Hillary was itching to see him. She wanted to know how he was, although the servants who served his meal told her that he was doing fine.

***

It took Hillary almost midnight, when everyone was already asleep to visit him.

She sneaked into his bedroom wearing only her night gown under her robe. She found Bill asleep with only a single dimmed light on. She stood next to his bed and watched with filled gratitude that he was fine. She observed his relaxed, handsome face and it dawned on her that she was never truly over him. His mouth slightly open and the sight made her soften. She was about to reach to brush the hair that fell above his brow when he stirred.

“Hilly,” he said hoarsely, fluttering his eyelids allowing his eyes to adjust to the dimness in the room.

“Hey,” She responded softly. She sat next to him, her eyes blurry with tears not understanding why she felt a certain tug in her chest seeing him recognize her. Maybe it was of her pent-up longing, or maybe her repressed feelings for him, she didn’t know exactly, the thought that he said her name just brought so much emotion in her.

“Do you still hurt?” She asked whispering.

Bill shook his head then reached to place his palm against her cheek.

“Come here darling,” he invited, and Hillary leaned until Bill was able to wrap his arms around her pulling her down to him holding her.

“I am okay,” he said, understanding what she was feeling. Their emotional connection has never faded away, even after all those years. She would always feel what he went through. “I am okay,” he whispered again kissing the side of her face rubbing her back while she nodded. “Don’t cry,” Bill coed.

Hillary was so worried about him that it was driving her crazy. She had seen and heard about men falling from their horse breaking their backs that made them paralyze forever. She thought she couldn’t live if that would also happen to him.

Hillary pulled back and touched her forehead against his while framing his face with her hands. “I wouldn’t be able to live if something happened to you.”

Bill smiled, touched by her love. He wrapped his arms around her holding her tight. “Why don’t you sleep here? I’ll wake you up later.”

She nodded. Bill scooted carefully trying not to strain his sprained ankle. She laid next to him with her arm around his body.

Bill laid his arm behind her head, so she used it as her pillow.

Having her there made Bill remember their childhood day; she would make her way to be with him, climbing down from the balcony in her room and running to his room in the stables. She would tend to him, hold him while he slept, whisper a prayer to him. She loved him fiercely then and Bill knew that she still did it now.

When it was time for Hillary to leave, she gently woke him up as she sat on the edge of the bed. “I have to go now, Billy.”

Bill looked up at her and blinked. “What time is it?”

“Three.”

“Okay.”

They both silently looked at each other, Hillary’s hands on Bill’s thigh. The warmth of her hand brought a pleasurable ache in Bill’s groin making him hard, the sexual tension between them grew.

They both hovered not knowing what to do. Bill didn’t want to force her, Hillary was afraid to make an action. Since he knew that she wouldn’t even initiate it, Bill was reduced to asking.

He reached to place his hand atop hers, “Thank you for dropping by.”

Hillary smiled.

He took a deep breath and asked “Will you kiss me, Hillary?”

Bill saw the sudden widening of her eyes. A part of him already preparing for her rejection, she moved.

In a heart stopping moment, he thought she would leave because she turned her head, but when she turned her head back to him, she finally leaned in and kissed him.

Bill was filled with elation, this time it was Hillary who was kissing him back. She kissed him without hesitation and Bill fed her hunger.

She was supposed to drop a kiss but when their lips touched, she lost control. She told herself to stop but she couldn’t. Kissing him was just addicting. She even moved closer to kiss him properly. When she bit his lower lip, Bill chuckled.

“Stop, stop, darling,” he said, brushing her hair. He tipped his chin down to look at her and brushed her hair.

If only she wasn’t engaged, Bill thought.

“I’m sorry, I’ll go now,” Hillary whispered.

He nodded. It took her some time to leave, she even kissed him again before she left his bedroom.

#####

The next day Bill walked around with crutches to ease the strain on his injured ankle. He was not able to join the men to practice Polo because of his condition. He was going through the hallway when he saw Hillary in the garden under the gazebo checking out the hanging flowers.

He smiled and thought to follow.

Hillary was busy looking at her violets when from her peripheral she saw Bill approaching her. She felt her pulse doubled.

“Bill,” she said, looking at him.

Bill was still beaming as he made his way to her. He stood beside her and looked at the violets in front of them.

“Are they yours?” He asked.

“No, they are not.” She responded, she unconsciously tucked a hair behind her ear. “You cannot be here,” she added.

Bill turned to her and saw her hair sticking at the side of her face from her sweat. She has been working on the garden. “I look like a mess,” she said nervously.

Bills’ eyes softened and he stood behind her. Hillary took a deep breath feeling the heat from Bill’s body on her back.

“Not really a mess, you look wonderful,” Bill whispered looking at the curve of the shell of her ear. He sighed as the imagination of him nipping them crossed his mind. His breath touched the back of her neck giving her goosebumps.

“I’m sweaty, Bill,” she said breathily turning to look at the side making sure that they were not seen.

“I know,” Bill said, and he stepped an inch closer causing chills down her spine. “I can smell your sweat from here, sweet from your perfume and a little salty.”

“Bill…”

“God, I want you to sweat for me like this, Hilly. Under me.”

Hillary took a deep breath feeling the heat from her chest climb to her cheeks, and a sweet ache between her thighs. She wanted him just as much.

Bill could hear her deep breathing and knew that she was affected as he was, “I want you, Hilly. My God, I’ve been aching for you for ten years.”

Bill pressed his lips against the back of her head and slowly his hand touched her waist, “I want you, body and soul.”

“Billy…” Hillary said.

“I’ll be at the Carlton Hotel three days from now. Be with me, Hilly.”

Hillary felt her heart leap, Bill was inviting her to sleep with him. She opened her mouth to say something, but nothing came out. She was too surprised by his bold invitation.

Bill slid his hand under her jaw making her look at him. “I ached for you for ten years. All I ask is for one night.” He pleaded.

“Bill…”

If she agreed to sleep with him, it wouldn’t worth marry Richard. She has already been playing with fire with Bill for the past few days that was already cheating. But sharing her body with Bill...

“Hill, I know you want me as much as I want you.”

She took a deep breath, “Bill you are asking me to throw away my values by doing that.”

“I know, and I feel totally bad about it, that I am putting you into this situation, but do you understand what I am saying?” Bill asked looking at her.

She nodded.

“Please…”

“I don’t know, Billy. I am not sure if I am ready for that.”

Bill slightly nodded, “I’ll be there. I’ll wait for you even if you don’t arrive.”

Then he was gone.

The next few days, Hillary was filled with trepidation. Bill’s invitation loomed.  
What made it worst was that Bill was avoiding her. She felt miserable and stressed.  
Hillary did not want to hurt Richard, but she… well… she still loved Bill.

“Oh, God,” she groaned inside her bedroom the night before Bill departure.

#####

Bill took a swig of his cognac while looking at the passing cars in front of the Carlton, inside his room. He was there to meet some of his Political strategists for his campaign.

He sighed and placed the tumbler next to him. It was already nine in the evening and Hillary was already three hours late. He already accepted that she chose Richard over him.

Thinking about it, he knew that Hillary wouldn’t throw away her moral values for him, but somehow he had hoped.

He dialed for a room service for a glass of gin as he slumped back on the bed. He stared at the ceiling thinking about his counted days, he only had five more days to go and he needed to know from Hillary if she would be his or not.

A sudden knock on the door got his attention.

Bill turned his head and reluctantly went to answer the door.

“Sir your bottle of gin,” the room service said. Bill frowned. “Can you give me some green olives?”

“Okay, sir,” the guy said and left Bill alone.

Bill poured some of the amber liquid on the tumbler and again went to his bed. He popped some buttons after feeling his body heating. The rain also started to pelt against the window.

Another knock on the door got again his attention. Bill dragged his body and went to answer the door.  
He stilled not believing his eyes.

“I couldn’t—,” Hillary started but Bill suddenly grabbed her wrist pulling her inside and shutting the door.

“You’re here,” Bill said breathily, feeling his heart soar out of joy. He swooped down to kiss her, then he pulled back to wrap his arms around her. “Christ, you are actually here.”

Hillary pulled back looking at the button of his shirt. “It took me so long…” she turned to look at him, “because I am afraid where this might lead.”

Bill kissed her forehead. “It scares me too, my love. It scares me too.” Then he pulled back and framed her face in his hands, “But I won’t leave you. I won’t let anyone hurt you. You know that right?”

She nodded and pressed her face against his chest. Bill smoothed his hand on her back feeling the tremors in her body.

“Are you nervous?” Bill asked whispering against her ear.

“A little,” she said with a nervous laugh.

Bill smiled against her skin, “I’m nervous too.” He teased dropping a kiss on the side of her neck. “But besides nervousness…” he said slowly unzipping her dress. The coolness of the room kissing her skin, making her shiver more. “I guess I know what’s causing your body to shake.”

“What?”

Bill chuckled feeling a tenderness spread in his chest. “I’ll tell you.”

“Turn around,” Bill whispered, his eyes were heavy-lidded as if he was drowsy.

Hillary turned as Bill removed her dress leaving her in her black undies. He turned and sat at the edge of the bed and reached for the gin to drink as if he needed something to calm his nerves while looking at Hillary standing in front of him with nothing but her lacy undergarments.

He smiled in appreciation. “You are so beautiful. Come here, Darling, and let me love you,” he told her extending his hand to her.

Hillary went to him and Bill helped her sit down on his lap. She encircled her arms around his neck.

“I can feel your mind working,” Bill whispered looking at her.

She smiled coyly, “I just can’t help it. I feel so bad—“

Bill placed his fingers on her lips stopping her. “In this bedroom, this night, nothing exists but us.”

She nodded and leaned to kiss him. It was the first bold movement. She kissed him with such slowness, fitting their lips together. She never felt so lost in kissing him. She has done this before with other men after him (not that she had many, only two after him) but she could not compare the pleasure in doing this with Bill. The act of kissing with him was addicting; the soft biting kisses, the mating of their tongues... It was so passionate and intense that she felt warm all over.

Bill moved her to sit facing him on his lap. Hillary wrapped her legs around his waist. Framing his face with her hands. She moaned at the back of her throat when she felt Bill unclasping her brassiere and helped him removed it without unlatching their mouth. Bill had to see her, wanted to see her naked and blushing for him so he pulled back and looked at her. Her milk colored skin stained by her blush, her chest rising and falling, her nipples pink and starting to pucker from the cold air.

“You take my breath away,” he breathed. He flattened his palms on her nipples, feeling them, rolling them until it hardened into peaks. Hillary arched her back, her head thrown back from pleasure. Her hips starting to grind against his groin.

Bill watched her so lost in the pleasure. It was majestic. He thought she was magnificent when she was young, but nothing could compare to her to that moment, she had matured.  
He wanted to glorify her body. Worship it. Kiss every part. Making it his.

He rubbed and rubbed until Hillary was moaning louder, her nipples achy and raw. “Bill, please…” she whispered.

Bill leaned and captured one nub on his mouth. His tonguing it, soothing the ache, while his finger continued to rub the other. Hillary tipped her chin down watching him and the view of what Bill was doing to her brought a pool of pleasure between her legs.  
She was aching all over. Then she watched Bill let go of her breast then gave the same attention to her other breast. He looked at her while doing it, and Hillary saw the hunger in his eyes.

He pulled back looking at her nipples all wet and erect. A primitive part of him was filled with pleasure of what he could do to her body. He wanted to make her as his, and his alone. He wanted to do that, he wanted to imprint himself on Hillary; to know that she was his.

He suddenly moved and flopped them down with Hillary underneath him. He slid down and stood next to the bed while Hillary lay watching him. He held her gaze as he started to unbutton his shirt hurriedly.

Hillary watched with mixed emotions: desire, love, passion, and fright. But the one that burned the most was her desire for him. Bill pulled his pants and underwear down and she ended up swallowing. His shaft stood erect. Ready to take her. He was beautiful, so beautiful in fact that she couldn’t keep her eyes off him.

She rolled up to her stomach touched his waist and slightly pulled him closer. His member stood leveled on her face. She reached and closed her hand around it, ignoring the groans that escaped his lips. She marveled at how beautiful his cock was then moved her hand up and down watching the a pre-cum pooling at the large purplish head. She leaned and tasted it and Bill had to groan but then before he could even stop her she took him in her mouth.

Bill tipped his head up as the pleasure of being sucked brought chills down his spine. His thighs hardened. He gritted his teeth trying to calm himself. He was so excited and so into it that the threat of him coming soon was overwhelming. He placed his hand at the back of Hillary’s head guiding her. But when she reached to roll his sac while sucking him. Bill knew they had to stop.

He touched the base of his cock pulling it off from her. “The night is young, let’s make it longer,” he teased as he leaned to kiss her. Hillary crawled backwards on the bed as Bill followed. He hovered on top of her as he trailed kisses on her body. He dipped his tongue on her navel as he moved lower. Then he reached for her underwear and pulled it off.

Bill looked at her naked body, the sight almost made him weak. She was beautiful clothed and completely nude. He went down again and kissed her thighs sliding off to her knees, to her legs, until he kissed her feet. He wanted to love her, every part of her body. But when he returned and did spread her legs apart, he groaned seeing her core wet, ripe, and ready for him.

“God, you make my body melt,” he whispered before he leaned and started tasting her. Hillary’s back arched in a perfect bow as Bill latched his mouth on her core. She could see his hair in between her thighs and the view was erotic. She felt his tongue licking every crevice, then he focused his attention to her hardened nub as he inserted two of his fingers inside her.

Hillary felt the heat on her legs. Her muscles tightening as her orgasm was nearing. Bill felt the slight tremors in her body and knew she was about to come, he started to increase the pace and even sucked harder. Hillary’s head started thrashing, her moans becoming louder. She tried to close her legs to ease the overwhelming pleasure but Bill prevented by holding her legs apart. Then he returned fingering her until after few strokes she fell apart.

She didn’t recover from her orgasm yet when Bill moved to hover above her, and felt his member on her inner thighs. Her stomach tightened.

“Please,” she whispered a tear escaped her eyes, and Bill kissed it. His hand reached between their bodies and guided his shaft on her entrance, Hillary held her breath and ultimately moaned when Bill entered her.

Bill wanted to be gentle but the overwhelming need to see her come again and own her won him over. He started to move his hips thrusting hurriedly. Hillary moved her hand on his buttocks urging him.

“Baby, please, please…” she begged. The rhythm was perfect and she didn’t complain. Hillary wanted more.

“Yes, yes,” Bill rasped against her neck as he felt his heart thundering. He continued moving in and out of her fast and hard until he felt Hillary’s muscles gripping him hard and heard her cry out his name. He continued and didn’t stop and after few solid strokes, he came bathing her insides with his warm seed.

He waited for that for ten years. The pain, the pleasure and his love for her swirled like a kaleidoscope that it took him that long to make the picture complete—and he felt complete at that moment. The emotion was so overwhelming that after he recovered he cried in her arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took me so long to update. I’ve had a hard time writing and I have to admit along the way, I lost interest. I will try to do my best to finish of course.
> 
> But thank you and I hope you like it. Let me know what you think.
> 
> I want to thank Scattydinormality for being an awesome beta and encourager. <3


	13. Chapter 13

Hillary thought she was just imagining it. When Bill recovered from his orgasm she heard him sniff until the sniffing continued and she felt the wetness on her neck where Bill previously buried his face and it dawned on her that he was actually crying.

“Billy,” she said holding the back of his head, her other hand holding his waist. He was still lying on top of her.

“Bill…” she repeated, brushing the back of his hair. “Honey,” she called trying to get a look at him but he didn’t want to be seen.

“It’s okay, I am here,” She said, holding him. Bill snaked his arm under her so he could hold her.

“I am so sorry,” he said sniffing. Hillary smiled, and she kissed the side of his face. When he pulled back, she could see that his nose and cheeks were pink from his crying.

“I am such a mess,” He said dropping his forehead against hers.

She smiled and echoed his response to her the other day, “You are wonderful.”

He sighed and rolled them over until she was able to lay her head on his chest. Hillary climbed on his torso, so they could look at each other. Bill smiled at how dainty she was, she could fit her small body on him. She reached to wipe his tears and reached for a nearby tissue and asked him to blow his nose.

“Better?” She asked, and he nodded. She leaned and kissed him on his lips. Then Bill wrapped his arms around her keeping her on top of him, he loved how she felt so right in his arms.

“Why are you crying, Billy?” He heard her asking.

He already anticipated that question. He sighed and kissed the top of her head.

“I’ve been longing to have you like this for ten years, since I’ve left your estate. I am so overwhelmed with emotions I cannot help myself,” he said, Hillary pulled back to look at him and Bill casually brushed his tears that escaped his eyes.

“I’ve went through a lot Hillary to get here, to have you. I’ve almost died…” he trailed, feeling his throat closed. “Life has been hard for me, but I kept thinking about you…” he sniffed, then wiped again his tears.

Hillary felt her gut twisted looking at Bill. He was a man so composed and while he tried to re-tell his past, controlling his emotions, it made her love him more. She sat on his hips and pulled him up until they were facing each other. Bill gripped her hips then brushed her hair back while Hillary was brushing his tears.

“You are so beautiful,” Bill whispered, he leaned in and kissed the top of her nose.

He sniffed hard before he continued, then reached for her hand and splayed it on his chest. “You are my Northern star, Hillary. You kept me alive.”

“Honey…” Hillary breathed, touched by his confession.

“When I escaped Mrs. Grant to find my way back to Arkansas, I went to ride a train, but I boarded it illegally. Some guards, I assume, found me. They have beaten me so badly. I couldn’t fight because it was so dark. I could remember that I was pleading for them to stop, but that seemed to incite them more.”

Hillary looked at him horrified.

“I couldn’t remember much but I could vividly remember the taste of the blood inside my mouth. Then they opened the sliding doors…” Bill stopped when he heard Hillary gasping.

Bill shook his head. “I could still remember how bright the night was, we were passing some mountains. I could see the moon so bright then and the numerous stars. They threw my bag…” Bill trailed again as fresh new tears rolled on his cheek. He looked at Hillary and realized that she was crying for him too.

“I held on the door because I knew they would throw me outside.” Bill took a deep breath remembering how frightened he was then. “I tried to hold but I was so weak and then they pushed me off.”

Hillary the sobbed and embraced him wanting to be there to share his pain. “I couldn’t remember much but I was rolling and rolling, it didn’t stop. I might have knocked out while rolling but when I woke up all I could see were the stars.”

“Please, Bill. Stop. I don’t want to hear anymore.” She pleaded, she held him tighter. She had been very protective of him then.  
Knowing how much he had gone through, from being coerced to perform sex to being beaten, it killed her.

Bill rubbed her back, but he couldn’t stop himself. “While I was laying, I kept on looking at the stars and thought how beautiful they were. I remembered you then…when you told me about the Northern star, and I saw it shining brightly. I kept whispering your name and thinking about you.” He sighed and looked at her face as he reached to wipe her tears. “I didn’t know if I would die there because I fell in a place in the middle of nowhere with broken ribs and a broken leg. I couldn’t get up. I couldn’t help myself. I thought if I would die, I wanted to die remembering you.”

Hillary sobbed and held him, and Bill felt so comforted that she was finally sharing his pain. When she pulled back, she started to rain his face with kisses as if she wanted to heal him and when she pulled back Bill with devotion, finally told her: “I love you, Hillary. I love you with all of my being.”.

Hillary nodded and she wanted—so wanted to tell him that she loved him too, but she couldn’t say it, not when she was still tied up to another man.

He didn’t demand anything from her. He understood her, and Hillary was grateful for it. She leaned in and kissed him.

She thought that if she couldn’t say it, she might as well show it to him.

She made love with him with such reverence, intensity and passion that she had never done with anyone else. She kissed every part of him and she made him watch while she gave him pleasure.

When she was ready to take him, she straddled his hips, facing him while Bill gripped her hips ready to take her, but he waited for her. She reached for his hand where his scar with her initials were written, without taking her eyes off him, she kissed his scar, traced her initials with her tongue.

She brought his palm close to her cheek and said, “I am still yours. Forever. In this life or after the next”

Bill reached with his other hand to wipe a tear that escaped from her eye.

When they joined their bodies, it was more than mating. It was forging their souls. Bill wanted to take everything because he didn’t trust the future. While she was there, he took and took what she could give.

They whispered their promise to each other. He also whispered his devotion to her, his love for her until Hillary surrendered to Morpheus and fell asleep in his arms.

#####

Hillary went to her family’s estate at six in the morning because she told Richard to have their driver pick her up by nine in the morning. Leaving Bill in the morning was the hardest thing to do. She couldn’t leave him, not when her love for him was becoming stronger and brighter.

It made her heart ache when she woke up in the morning and took her shower. She spent some few minutes watching him sleep, but when it was time for her to leave she moved closer and woke him up with a kiss and for the last time, they made love again.

She also felt him struggling, he didn’t want to let her go, but he knew that she couldn’t be stopped.

When Hillary rode a cab to her estate she did not stop herself from crying. She was so confused. She was only able to recover after few hours, but she felt miserable.

Bill laid on the bed looking at the ceiling. He regretted falling asleep because it stole the time that he only had with her.

When she was about to leave he shed a tear because he didn’t know when they would have another chance. “I won’t forget this night. I won’t forget this.” He said holding her hand then he kissed his initials on her hand.

But when he laid there it was not enough. He needed to have her. He would persuade her if he had to.

****

“Hillary,” Mrs. Fields’ called knocking on Hillary’s door.

Hillary turned to look at Mrs. Fields’ who had become her second mother. She went to her and cried. Mrs. Fields was surprised by her tears, but she understood.

“Is it Billy?” She asked smoothing Hillary’s hair.

She nodded.

“Do you still love him?” Mrs. Fields’ asked.

“I still love him so much.” Hillary answered in tears, her voice trembling.

Mrs. Fields looked at Hillary, while Hillary was no longer a child. The old woman treated her like how she had treated her when she was younger, then kissed her forehead, “Do what your heart tells you. Always, always follow your heart.”

Hillary pulled back, “But how about Richard?”

Mrs. Fields’ looked at her, “It will be unfair for Richard to be married to a woman whose heart belongs to someone else.”

Hillary nodded, understanding. It wouldn’t be easy to break up with Richard, but Mrs. Fields was correct.

However, Hillary found herself tongue tied when Richard arrived in the estate instead of his driver. He came with a bouquet of roses and huge big smile on his face. Hillary dreaded it.

“Diane, sweetheart, I’ve missed you,” he said coming to her, embracing her.

“Richard, what happened?” Hillary asked holding him back. She felt the tightness of his embrace, then he pulled back and gave her a brief kiss.

“I’ve bought you a bouquet, and I hope you were able to take care what you need to take care of before your parents arrival.”

Hillary looked at him and nodded. “Yes, I did.”

“Let’s go the people are waiting for you.” Richard said holding her hand.

When they got inside the limousine, Richard pulled Hillary on his side. “I’ve missed you so much.”

“I was only gone for a night.”

“I know, but I missed your presence.”

When they arrived at the estate, Richard stayed with Hillary all throughout. He held her hand and chose to stay at her side than spend time with his guests.

“What’s up with you?” Hillary asked looking at him as they sat inside his study.

“Nothing I just want to spend some time with you.”

The guests started to play Polo while others were leisurely wandering on the estate.

Hillary wanted to spend time alone thinking besides taking care of the upcoming big party. She was already planning when she could break it off, but her plan was sabotaged when Richard chose to stay with her instead. She sat on the couch with Richard beside her, he reached for her legs and placed them on his lap and continued reading his papers, how they used to do during their afternoons together.

Hillary on the other hand was reading the details that the planner gave them. But her mind would casually wander to Bill thinking where he was and if he was already back.

“How was your stay in your estate?” Richard asked as he started kneading her foot without taking his eyes off what he was reading.

Hillary trailed off, feeling a pang of guilt for lying to him. “It was fine. Although there are things that I still need to take care of because mom and dad will be arriving on the twenty third, the night before out big party.”

Richard pursued his lips nodding. “To tell you, I have taken care of the driver for their arrival.”

“You have?” Hillary asked surprised.

“Yep.”

“But you didn’t have to.”

Richard shrugged. “It’s okay, they will be my in laws eventually.”

Hillary nodded and suddenly changed the topic. “How was your night?” Hillary asked.

Richard looked at her, “Empty, without you.”

Hillary chuckled but Richard remained with a straight face. He let go of her legs and got out of the couch. Hillary watched him as he kneeled in front of her so he could look at her, face to face. Richard laid his palm on her cheek and then leaned to kiss her.

Hillary froze, caught off guard by what he did, she did not react and Richard felt it. She was saved by the knock on the door.

They both turned and Richard sighed in disappointment, which made Hillary feel more guilty.

“The men are ready, sir.” The butler announced, and Richard nodded. He gently closed the door and turned to Hillary looking at her.

“Well, we’ll be shooting at the range, the players are there and the range is already set.”

Hillary nodded but before Richard could leave, she called him. “Richard…” she said, she went to him slid her hands under his jaw and kissed him. Richard’s arms went around her and when she pulled back, he looked at her longingly. He was supposed to say something, but Hillary had beaten him.

“E...enjoy,” she said.

He nodded and left. Hillary rubbed her hand on her forehead annoyed with herself and confused. She couldn’t break it off with Richard not when he was so nice to her. Well, at least not soon.

#####

Richard went to the shooting range and found some men already waiting there. There were five of the guys as some men were still playing Polo while others were in the pool. Paul stood beside Bill as Richard went to the plate thrower machine. He had given instructions to the staff who nodded and then he went to where Paul, Bill and other players were standing.

“This is really grand,” Paul said.

Richard shrugged, then he eyed Bill standing next to Paul.

“How is your leg, Mr. Clinton?”

Bill smiled a little, “It’s better now.”

Richard nodded then his staff arrived pushing a cart and parked in front of them. The staff pulled off the cloth covering the items underneath.

There were oohs and aahs when the variety of guns and rifles were revealed to them.

“Have it your way, gentlemen,” Richard said.

“Wow,” Paul said picking up a semi-automatic vintage shotgun.

Bill didn’t move but he adored the rifles in front of him.

“One shot at a time fellas, we only have two plate throwers. It shoots the plate into the air more than fifty feet and in varying angle. Just line up.”

Richard nodded to the staff and turned on the machine and machine started to throw plates in the air. The place was suddenly filled with gunshots and plates breaking as they started shooting. Richard did not start to play yet. There were six players in total including Richard. Three players on each side. For the first set whoever had the lowest score would be removed. Bill played on the other side along with Paul and a certain Cervantes. While on the other side, it was Richard and two of his friends.

Bill had a really good aim since he went to Arkansas and started to learn how to shoot. Paul watched him—impressed.

“Damn, I shouldn’t be surprised that you can hit as far as fifty feet while objects were moving.”

The men were impressed with Bill’s shooting ability. The machine had thrown the plates on a random angles and arcs, but Bill managed to hit them all.

For some reason, Richard felt challenged by Bill’s ability. He was great marksman too. When they were down to one player left, Richard turned to Bill smiling.

“Well I guess it’s you and me in the end,” Richard said teasing. Bill returned his jab with a smile.

“The last game the plates will be thrown in random angles with different heights, and the plates will be thrown within 30 seconds interval.”

Bill nodded, and they turned as they heard a cheer behind. They didn’t notice that some people have gathered to watch them. Bill’s eyes darted to Hillary who was standing next to her friend watching them. Unbeknownst to him, Richard watched him look at his fiancée.

The staff rolled a new set of high-end rifles in front of Bill and Richard, but Richard nodded to the staff who took Richard’s favorite long range automatic rifle.

The men oohed at Richard’s special rifle. The body was made of high-quality wood, the plates were gold and silver. The staff even had to wear white gloves when he handed the rifle to Richard.

Richard’s eyes did not leave Bill’s as he started inserting the bullet. Bill looked at what was available for him and chose a long-range rifle too but it wasn’t fancy. But for him, it would do.

Richard extended his hand for Bill to shake, and they shook hands. They stood at the same row, but they were away from each other more than five meters. They set their rifles and ready to fire.

They waited for the staff to shout: “Fire!”. When he did, the plates were thrown, Bill and Richard started shooting.

Richard’s rifle looked more sophisticated than Bill’s. It also looked like Richard wasn’t affected by the recoil of the rifle. He was suave as hell. Bill struggled with his rifle, while it gave him the same advantage of it being a long range. The recoil and reloading took time that it couldn’t match how fast the plates were being thrown.

Bill felt the heat of the sun burning at the back of his neck, the sweat running on his temple. He didn’t lose a shot, so didn’t Richard. If they both finished the round without a miss they would count how many bullets were left.

Bill didn’t want to lose against him, but Richard played just as hard.

When the game ended the staff had counted the score 100 out of 100 for Bill and the same score for Richard. But when they counted the bullets, Bill had fifteen left whereas Richard had thirteen making Bill a winner.

Richard looked at Bill with frank annoyance. He shook Bill’s hand more brusquely than necessary. They held each others’ gaze while they did so. They did not even congratulate each other.

“Nice game,” was just said between them and a nod.

The antagonism and tension between them was heightened, while others missed it, Richard and Bill felt it. They were competing.

Richard went to Hillary while Bill remained with Paul. He wiped his sweat as he watched the couple. Bill felt a certain tug in his chest as jealousy enveloped him. He looked at Hillary’s back as she continued to talk to Richard. Bill thought that he and Hillary needed to talk about them once and for all.

#####

Bill waited for time for them to meet. It bothered him that Richard was more attentive that time. He never left Hillary by his side. He followed her around like a dog.

He was so annoyed by his presence that he left the estate saying that he had to meet his campaign team. He only returned to the estate after dinner. Bill did not arrive through the front door and instead went to the side of the mansion and there he saw Hillary standing at the balcony getting some fresh air. Her head tilted upon the sky the moonlight shone on her face.

“Hillary,” Bill called. She turned around feeling her heart leap out of joy.

“Billy!” She greeted back. Bill hurried to her but ultimately stopped when he was a step away.

Hillary could see the rise and fall on his chest and his eyes pleading. “I miss you,” he said softly giving her goosebumps.

She was about to respond when they both turned and heard Richard speaking.

“I see that you are here, Sweetheart,” Richard coming to stand beside Hillary. His hand creeping at her back until his hand gripped the side of her waist, gently pulling her at his side.

“Good evening, Mr. Clinton,” Richard said meeting his eyes briefly then turned to look at Hillary, his other free hand cupping her chin. “I have been looking for you, Sweetheart,” He whispered.

“I’m sorry,” Hillary responded in hushed tone feeling uncomfortable with the blatant display of affection. To make it worst Richard leaned and kissed her, and she saw Bill from her peripheral turned his head away.

Richard released her and said matter-of-factly. “Will you excuse us, Mr. Clinton? I cannot seem to keep my hands off my girl.”

Hillary could not look at Bill but noticed that he swallowed too many times as if he was drinking. Bill was angry as hell.

“Let’s go, Richard,” Hillary said feeling her heart sinking. She knew it was hurting Bill, but they couldn’t make a scene. She tugged Richard to follow her as she walked him back to the party. She would face Bill later.

Bill watched as they went back to the mansion feeling his heart breaking. He was so angry that he wanted to hurt, wanted to break something, but his attention got distracted when Paul arrived with a woman in his arms.

“Bill! Oye! Billy! I’ve been looking for you!”

Bill turned and felt the ground beneath his feet tilt.

“I want you to meet Mrs. Theresa Grant, Richard’s secret horse supplier.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you like the update. Please help m how I can improve, but please no more hurtful messages. 
> 
> To my good friend and beta Scattydinormality @ tumblr, you are amazing. Thank you for the encouragement and for teaching me how I can improve my grammar. :)


	14. Chapter 14

Who is she?” Hillary asked Hugh who was standing next to her. In her line of sight she could see Bill, Paul, and another lady, standing together on the balcony talking. However, she noticed Bill’s taut jaw and straight back. His hands inside his pockets. She wondered why he was tensed.

Hugh turned to Hillary and looked at where she was pointing, “Mrs. Grant. You know her, right?”

The moment Bill saw Mrs. Grant he felt as if a cold finger brushed his back making the hairs at the back of his neck stood.

“Mr. Clinton,” she greeted, extending her hand, her palm facing down an indication for him to kiss the back of her hand.

It took him a fraction of second to react and reach her hand and kiss it. He felt that her hand slightly gripped his before he let go. “Mrs. Grant, it’s nice meeting you.”

At her age of early fifties, Mrs. Grant had matured very well. She was still voluptuous, her hair still red, had lightened, and she was still as beautiful as he remembered.

“Apparently, all the great horses we’ve seen Dorsey owned, came from her stables. Her stallions are pure-bred Arabian!” Paul said.

Bill just kept his eyes glued to Mrs. Grant while his other hand propped on the flat surface of the railings beside him as if he needed something to prevent him from losing his balance.

“Who would have thought, right?” Paul commented, but Bill was no longer listening. He wanted to know why she was there.

“I admire the horses that Dorsey owns. They are made of muscles only.” Bill commented.

“I am very meticulous with my choices for stallions,” she told them. Bill did not miss the double meaning of her response.

“You should tell us how your methods,” Paul told her.

Mrs. Grant was supposed to say something but Bill interrupted saying, “Do you want to dance, Mrs. Grant?”

“My pleasure, Mr. Clinton.”

Hillary was with her guests and with Richard on the second floor when her attention diverted on the dance floor and saw Bill and Mrs. Grant dancing. Although already in her fifties, Mrs. Grant was an eye catcher because of how beautiful she was and because of her red hair.

She gripped the goblet of wine that she was holding wondering what was happening.

“I am surprised to see you here, Bill,” Mrs. Grant said, her voice was still hoarse like as if she just woke up. She pressed closer their bodies, “But more surprised that you invited me for a dance.”

“What are you doing here?” Bill asked nonchalantly.

Mrs. Grant propped her chin on his shoulder nearly embracing him. “Well, you’ve heard your good friend: I am Dorsey’s horse supplier. He invited me when he heard I got back from Venezuela. How are you, Bill?”

Bill ignored her question, “Did you know that I was here?”

Mrs. Grant chuckled, her breath touching the side of his neck making Bill develop goosebumps. “I didn’t. Frankly, I thought you were dead.”

Bill moved and pulled back from her embrace. The sudden jerk surprised her but he pulled back and twirled her instead. “Are you sad that I am not?” He asked when she leaned against him.

Mrs. Grant chuckled again. “I am glad that you are alive.” Then she gave him a knowing smile and added, “Come on, don’t tell me you did not benefit from my offer before. Don’t hate me for it.”

Bill tipped his head down thinking about what she said. He had to admit that she was partly right; in fact, in spite of how demanding Mrs. Grant was in her bedroom, she never treated him bad. She has fed him, clothed him, given him money. He whored himself for her willingly. He relaxed, thinking that if he would be honest with himself, he no longer harbored any regrets about his past. He wanted to live in peace.

His trail of thoughts got derailed when he heard her ask: “I heard that you are running for Governor”

“Indeed I am.” Bill responded, but then he felt her hand moving down then stopping when she reached his lower back. “You still owe me, Bill. You ran away with my money.”

Bill laughed, one throaty laugh that made some people turn to them. It was an incredulous laughter. “Don’t worry, I have money now. I’ll pay,” then he twirled her.

When the dance ended, Bill led her outside the balcony. “I must admit, you are right. Your money helped me buying my future and your knowledge about my mother has made me gain back my lost mother, and for that I am thankful. I’ll overlook of the fact that you held those to me in exchange of my service.”

“I did not treat you so bad, did I?”

Bill looked at her, “Coerced me sometimes, but nothing that I couldn’t handle. You paid me to service you. It was part of what you paid for.”

“I am no longer getting young and I would like to be in peace, so I am sorry if I have in any way hurt you.”

Bill smiled then looked at the horizon. “You treated me well in spite of your demands. I am sorry for running away with your money and did not keep my end of the bargain.”

Mrs. Grant smiled. “It’s all in the past and I still like you, Bill. In fact, if I wasn’t so in love with my husband, I would have given you a different proposition.”

Bill chuckled. “It’s been nice seeing you, Theresa. I’ll have my office contact you so I can return the money. Good evening.”

Hillary wondered about what she saw. She watched them while sipping her wine thinking what they could be talking about. Bill no longer looked like he was tense and seemed to be enjoying Mrs. Grant’s company. Thinking about what Bill told her, she understood that he agreed willingly when Mrs. Grant offered to work for her, to service her. While she acknowledged that Bill might have been coerced or forced to have sex with her, he has willingly chosen to take it.  
She wondered, did he already move on?

It infuriated her that he was letting Mrs. Grant off the hook easily.

Hillary searched Bill when she was able to get away from Richard but on her way to find him she saw Mrs. Grant heading out of the mansion.

“Mrs. Grant!” She called.

The woman turned and looked at her. Hillary went to her then stopped when she was a step away from the old woman. Mrs. Grant looked at her before asking, “How can I help you, Ms. Rodham?”

“No, I don’t need your help. In fact, you are the last person I would turn to if ever I need a help.”

Mrs. Grant raised an eyebrow.

“I know your history with Bill. Bill means so much to me and I do not approve of what you did. If you want to keep your business with us, stay away from him. I do not want to see you in our estate or near Bill again.”

Mrs. Grant did show any emotion but there was a flicker in her eyes.

“You may want to reconsider your threat Ms. Rodham and talk to Bill,” she said plainly. “Good evening.”

#####

It was past one in the morning when Bill went to Hillary’s bedroom. It took him longer because he joined Paul for a game of cards in the town. While Paul was playing Bill had the chance to talk to his campaign manager. His campaign manager was already informing him that he needed to go back to Arkansas exactly after the two weeks long engagement party. Bill agreed thinking that he and Hillary had three more days to go.

When he went to her bedroom, he ensured that everyone was already asleep. He went there just like how he did before by crossing his balcony to hers. When he reached the glass door in her balcony, he smiled finding that it wasn’t locked.

The view of her in her ivory nightgown with the blanket on her chest made his chest constrict. He just missed her so much that seeing her there alone brought him so much pleasure.

He slid the glass door of her balcony. He looked around ensuring that it was only her inside.

He took off his shoes and slowly climbed her bed. She stirred and her eyelids fluttered.

“Billy,” she said weakly, her voice hoarse from sleep.

“I’m here,” he said curling his arms behind her neck pulling her closer in his embrace.

“I missed you,” Hillary said as he gathered her in his arms. In darkness, he felt Hillary’s searching his lips. She kissed his chin, dragging her lips until she caught and latched her mouth with his. Bill heaved a sigh and returned her kisses. The urge to take her there was so strong but he did not want to make love with her under the roof of the man that she was still engaged to. He contented himself holding her, then Hillary pressed her nose on the V of his neck, settling under his chin.

He dropped a kiss on her crown, “I missed you, Darling”

“Do you remember this?” She asked her eyes closed trying to get back to slumber.

“How can I forget?”

Hillary nodded and sighed, Bill smiled and heard her say, “You cannot stay overnight, Billy.”

Bill played with her hair, feeling his heart ache. How ironic that after all these years they were still in that situation ten years after?

“I know but let me hold you some more before I leave.”

Hillary nodded, then suddenly remembered the conversation with Mrs. Grant. “I saw you and Mrs. Grant together.”

Bill nodded, “Yes, I thanked her.”

Hillary’s eyes snapped open, “What?” She asked in disbelief.

Bill wanted to chuckle at her expression but instead he leaned and kissed the space between her eyebrows. “I no longer don’t want to be bitter about my past. Besides, she may have taken advantage, but admittedly the money she has given me, gave me a chance to build my life. I also did not honor our agreement. I guess it’s just fair.”

Hillary rolled up to her stomach sitting, then turned to look at him. “You wouldn’t have gone through that if I had fought for you.”

Bill sat up as well, gently pulling her to his embrace. “We are already here. We better find solution to our problems. We still have the future.”

Hillary nodded, then heard him ask: “So when are you planning to tell Richard?”

She pulled back and shook her head. “I can’t.”

Bill’s eyes furrowed, “What do you mean you can’t?”

“I cannot break it off this soon.”

Bill took a deep breath, “Don’t tell me you are waiting for the right time.”

“It’s not that I am waiting for the right time. It will embarrass him if we break it up in the middle of the engagement party.”

Bill brushed his hand through his hair, “What difference does it make? You’ll still break up with him.”

Hillary looked at him, “It’s not easy as you may think.”

Bill sighed, “When are you planning to tell him then?”

“After the engagement.”

Bill rolled out of the bed, shaking his head. “I don’t get it Hillary, why are you procrastinating?”

Hillary looked at him, her eyes pleading. “I… I don’t want to hurt him.”

“Jesus! Hillary whatever decision you make you’ll hurt him. You might as well break it up while I am here.”

“It’s not easy, Bill!” She exclaimed following him.

“Dammit, just tell him that you cannot proceed with the engagement!”

“Wow!” She blurted sarcastically, “It’s so easy for you to say that because it’s not you who will get hurt.”

Bill spun and grasped her arm, “Do you think I am not hurting? Do you think that I am fine?”

Hillary stared at him and tugged her arm back.

“There will be no difference if you do it now or later,” he said breathlessly. “If you wait to do it after this party to save him from humiliation, people will still know that you broke up with him.”

Hillary rubbed her temples. “I don’t know, Billy.”

Bill went to her and held her arms. “I know that it’s hard, but we have to do it soon and not after the engagement.”

Hillary looked at him, “Why?”

Bill looked at her, his eyes soft. “I need to go back to Arkansas soon, and I am afraid that if you do it after your engagement without me, you’ll change your mind.”

“That’s not going to happen Bill.”

Bill slid his hand to touch her cheek. “Your family will be back. If you choose me there are no guarantee that I will win the election. For them I am still a nobody. Choosing me will be a risk for you. I am afraid that your family, especially your father, will make you choose. I am afraid that you will choose Richard because it is practical.”

“Bill…” she said, “I will choose you even if you have nothing.”

“Don’t say something that you don’t know,” Bill said sadly, starting to wear his shoes.

“Why are you leaving so soon, Bill? Are you angry?” She asked as she watched him wear his shoes.

Bill stood up and buttoned up her gown. “I am not angry.” I am hurting, he thought. “I don’t want to stay because I want you to think alone.” He said.

When they reached the balcony, he turned to her, “I want you to be sure that being with me is what you want.” Hillary laid her palms on the either side of his cheeks. There were no words that could describe what she was feeling: Pain, longing, love, hurt. It all swirled inside her heart. She didn’t want to hurt Richard, but she loved Bill more.

“Bill…” Hillary whispered wanting to say how much she loved him, but Bill pressed his thumb on her lips.

“Good night” He simply said laying his palm on her cheek.

Hillary turned her head and kissed the center of his palm and nodded. He leaned to kiss her forehead and he lingered there.

“Can you meet me tomorrow at our tree before sunset?” She asked.

Bill nodded. He leaned and kissed her, latching his mouth to hers longer and harder. When he let go, he pressed his forehead against hers and said: “I want you to remember that I am still yours… forever.”

And with that he was gone.

#####

Early in the morning, Richard was in the shooting range. He went there to practice.

“Higher,” Richard instructed his staff who was standing in the plate thrower. Richard kept his aim and held his rifle steady. He closed one eye and tilted his head almost leaning against the body of the rifle.

“Ready,” the staff said. Richard pulled back his shoulder allowing the butt of the rifle to press against it.

“Fire!” The staff said as the plate thrower threw a plate on air reaching almost hundred feet on air.

In one press of the trigger, a loud bang from rifle followed then plate broke mid-air. He put the rifle down with a smile on his face, a smoke can be seen escape from the rifle’s muzzle.

“Damn, good shot!” Paul shouted clapping his back.

Richard smiled then he saw Hillary passing by holding what seemed to be a pile of papers.

“Sweetheart!” He shouted making Hillary smile at him.

“Well, I better leave you both here,” Paul said, and leaving Richard with Hillary.

Hillary greeted Paul when he passed by her, then when she reached Richard she placed the stack of papers on the table.

“Hey,” Hillary greeted softly. “All of the preparation that we need on our big night is ready. I have it all summarized here in the papers. You might want to read it before we pay our vendors.”

Richard smiled and placed the rifle on the table securing the trigger lock.

“While that really touched me I am more excited to see my fiancée.” He teased reaching for her arm. “What did I do to deserve you?” He asked looking at her. Hillary couldn’t help it, she giggled at him then Richard pulled her to him enclosing her around in his arms and kissing her.

Bill was passing through the grounds riding one of the horse when he saw Hillary in Richard’s arms kissing him. It took him a while to actually believe what he was seeing, but he saw them clear as the day light. He tightened his hold on the rein as a searing hot jealousy washed over him. Bill felt it—a stabbing pain in his heart. He had the urge to go there and knock Richard but knew that wouldn’t do any good, so before he could cause any scene, he gave the horse a kick as he galloped away from the area.

Bill didn’t know exactly where he was going. He just made the horse ran fast and far away from Richard’s estate. His eyes becoming blurry with tears but he blinked them. He did not want to cry.

Everything about him wanted to give in from the pain that he felt from her betrayal. He held his emotions until he reached his and Hillary’s place by the tree and then alighted the horse almost stumbling.

He was angry, disappointed, and heartbroken. Thinking if the reason why she was procrastinating was because she truly felt something for Richard. The thought of Richard sharing space in her heart was killing him.

He tried to hold himself and not to break down but the pain was overwhelming. His throat raw, his chest heavy, and his eyes were prickly as his tears threatened to fall.

Ten years he waited for her depriving himself from entertaining other women, and endured loneliness and pain. For twenty years he tried to do everything to build their future together almost losing his life in the process for nothing. When he reached the riverbank, he sank on his knees and cried.

#####

All throughout the morning until the afternoon, Hillary noticed that Bill was not around. She wondered where he was and even asked Paul but all of them did not know where he went. A part of her was worried where he could be, but she convinced herself that he probably went somewhere and would be back soon. However, her worry escalated to panic when she went to their meeting place and found it empty.

She waited for him until evening but there was no sign of him. She asked Mr. and Mrs. Fields if they saw Bill there, Mr. Fields told her that someone had seen Bill riding the horse but that was all. She went back to Richard’s estate going to Bill’s bedroom no longer caring if someone had seen her barging to a male guest room but still there was no sign of him.

Hillary did not want to look bothered by his absence, but during the dinner while everyone was having a grand time she felt so incredibly miserable. She felt a certain constriction in her chest. Her mind already thinking of different scenarios that he might be somewhere injured.

She wanted to tell Richard about Bill but she did not want to appear so worried for him because Paul, Bill’s best friend, didn’t seem to be bothered by his absence.

She wanted to tell Paul that Bill was missing but she could only say that he was missing if he had been gone for more than forty-eight hours. Forty-eight hours! She did not think she would be able to sleep well or she would be crazy with worry if she did not know what happened to him. She needed help.

When the dinner ended, and few hours passed and everyone was starting to prepare for bed, Hillary told Richard that she needed to see her brother who was in the town. Richard had regarded her with suspicion but allowed her to leave.

Hillary arrived at Hugh’s apartment a few hours later.

“What’s wrong, Hillary?” Hugh asked coming to her. He noticed the worry in her eyes.

“I can’t find, Bill.” She said.

“My, God, you are worried? Bill’s no longer a child. He must’ve met his team—“

“No, Hugh! We were supposed to meet by the sunset!” She blurted and started to pace anxiously.

“Please, please, Hugh, find him.” She pleaded.

“Hillary, it’s late! He’s not yet gone for forty-eight hours!” Hugh reasoned.

Hillary wrapped her arms around her stomach. Her instinct was telling her something. It had been nagging her since earlier.

“Hillary…” Hugh said softly holding her arm. She looked at him, her eyes full of worry and pain.

“Please, help me find him…” she begged, “I am afraid… but I feel that something bad happened to him.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Always, thanks to my good friend, J.  
> I hope you like the update. :)


	15. Chapter 15

Hugh and Hillary went around the city checking restaurant and bars to find Bill. Hugh was getting annoyed by their drama. However, Hillary was his weakness so when she pleaded for him to come with her, he relented.

Hugh was infuriated with Bill for putting Hillary in such distress. It took them few hours, approximately at ten in the evening, to find out where Bill was as Mr. Fields called Hugh’s mobile.

“Found ‘im here in the stables, in his room. He said he slept late in the afternoon and did not notice the time. You and Hillary can go home now. I’ll take care of ‘im. He reeks of alcohol.”

When Hugh told Hillary the news she insisted to be taken back in the estate. After an hour they got there.

When the car slowed down, and it was already safe for her to hop out she did so and went to Bill’s room hurriedly.

Hugh followed but before Hillary could enter the stables she turned and told Hugh sharply: “Please, leave us alone”.

That prompted Hugh and Mr. Fields to leave.

She entered Bill’s previous small room like an angry wife, she entered like as if she had every right to do so by pushing the door open making it swung wide. Her eyes dropped to Bill’s narrow single bed, then her eyes darted to his small comfort room where the sound of running water was coming from. She turned and pushed the door open finding Bill lounging like an overindulged cat inside his small tub. A small steam surrounded him. His head tipped up with a small square towel covering his face, his arms resting on the either side of the rim of the tub.

“What the hell is wrong with you?!” She asked furiously. “I’ve been searching for you!” She added coming to stand near the tub.

She placed her hands on her waist looking down at him while Bill just ignored her. He did not bother to put some bath soap, so she could see him in all his naked glory under the water.

“Billy!” She called nudging his arm.

Bill’s other arm moved and removed the towel covering his face and had regarded her with droopy-eyes, looking bored and sleepy.

He sighed and reluctantly moved to stand. Hillary had to step back as she came face to face with Bill’s large frame. Her face leveled with his chest.

Bill continued to ignore her and took the towel that was hanging just behind her. He wiped his face and covered the lower part of his body.

Hillary was suddenly confused with Bill’s silent treatment. _What the hell is wrong with him?_ She thought.

She followed him, and before she could speak Bill asked. “I don’t think your fiancé will be pleased to know that you are in my room.”

Hillary gasped in disbelief. “What the hell is wrong with you, Billy?”

Bill took out the white shirt that mr. Fields had given him. The towel still wrapped around his waist.

She heard him sigh, and then turned to her. “Leave me alone, Hillary. I’ll just take a nap and leave you alone tomorrow morning.”

“What?! I don’t understand!” She said standing next to him. Trying to get a good look at his eyes. He avoided it by turning his head down as if he was looking up for something. “Are you angry at me?”

Silence.

“How dare you to be angry at me? I should be the angry one! You did not arrive at our meeting place! You drove me crazy with worry—“

“Leave me alone, Hillary.” Bill said quietly.

She stopped not knowing what was going on, but she was surprised to see Bill’s tears gathering in his eyes.

“Please, just leave me alone. I had enough. I am tired.” He said quietly.

“Enough? Tired? What the fuck is going on?!” She asked Bill, coming closer, reaching out to touch his face.

“Please, tell me what’s going on,” Hillary pleaded, her gaze roaming his face and trying to find a hint. “Baby, please.”

Bill gripped her wrist, “Do you love me, Hillary?” He asked so softly.

“Of course, I do. I love you, Bill and you know that.” She said brushing his hair. “What’s wrong?”

“Do you love, Richard?”

Silence.

Bill smiled sadly and pulled her hands away from his face then started to wear his brief and jeans. He wasn’t feeling anything at all nor was angry with her. It was just sadness by the circumstances. Bill did not want to hurt her but going back to her life was making their lives complicated—hurting everyone in the process.

“Bill…”

Silence.

Bill sat on the edge of his bed and heard her speak. “I just need some time.”

Hillary paced, then she paced angrily. She turned to him and snapped, “You know, how dare you! How dare you demand this from me when it’s you who left me?”

Bill looked at her and could see her eyes gathering with tears and it pained him that he was causing this to her. He shouldn’t force her make a decision. He came back to her life late and maybe he deserved it.

He reached for her hand then stood up, came closer, and brushed her tears. He bit his lips trying to hold his own emotions as he said: “I know and I am so sorry for causing you so much pain, Hilly.” He took a good look at her face. He sighed. “I’ve been thinking… Maybe I should let you go.”

“What?” She asked surprised. “No!” She cried.

“I’ve left you, then came back to ruin your life. The life you’ve already adjusted to, and I shouldn’t have done that. I’m a selfish bastard. I should have let you live happily.”

“Bill…” she said her tears rolling down her cheeks.

“You should go back to Richard.”

But that statement earned him a slap from her.

“Why are you doing this to me?” She wept, hands on her chest. “Why do you keep doing this to me?” She cried. “You are leaving me just like before.”

Bill clutched her arm, “Please, Hilly. I don’t want to hurt you anymore.”

“I can’t! Fuck you! I can’t go! I can’t, Billy!” She wept, her knees getting weak that she had to lean against him.

Bill held her face. “Richard is a good man. He’s respectable and he will give you a good life.”

Hillary shook her head, crying. “Don’t, please.”

Bill kissed her forehead. “He loves you, Hillary. He will…” He trailed feeling his own heart breaking. “He will give you a great life. You will be loved. He will give you lots of children. I’ve seen you both earlier and I think you’ll learn to be happy with him too.”

It was then that Hillary had become hysterical. “I don’t think I can even live without you anymore, Bill. Please just give me some time. Please.”

She wept in front of him because she suddenly realized that if she could choose, she would still choose him, and the fact that he was giving up on her was tearing her apart. “Please, please…” she said in between sobbing that scared Bill. He held her calming her down and then relented to her pleas.

“Okay, okay,” he whispered kissing her forehead holding her tightly.

“Please, don’t. Don’t leave me again.” she repeated holding onto him. She was clinging to him afraid that he might leave her soon. “I love you,” she whispered. “Please don’t say that you will leave.”

Bill nodded while smoothing the back of her head. “Alright. I won’t. I am so sorry.” He whispered.

“Don’t do that again.” She said.

Bill nodded, his hand caressing her nape, calming her nerves.

Bill closed his eyes, he was confused too now. Initially, he thought of giving up their relationship because he had seen the sincerity in Richard and Hillary’s embrace. He thought about what Hugh told him of ruining a happy couple.

He mulled it over. _Is he really that kind of person? To ruin a couple?_

If he really loved Hillary, why would he keep on ruining her life? He was in the past, and she had already moved on with another man, but there he was forging his way into her life again, disrupting the smooth transition of her life. But then the damage had been done. He heard the words from Hillary and witnessed how badly she needed him. It made him reconsider. He couldn’t let her go this time.

Bill kept holding her. He could still feel the wetness of her tears on his chest as she pressed her face against his chest. He kissed the side of her face while whispering “I am sorry” to her.

Hillary nodded clinging to him. He pulled back and sat on the bed that had depressed with his weight. It was surreal to share this bedroom with her, he thought; he could still vividly remember his childhood with her, how they would spend time together in that small room, how she barged into that room to hold and sleep with him when he was sick and lonely.

It felt like they reached a full-circle returning to the place where their love had flourished. Bill felt a certain sweet ache in his chest remembering it. He pulled back to brush her hair with his fingers then leaned to press a kiss on her cheek tasting the saltiness of her tears.

Hillary closed her eyes when Bill started to rain her face with soft kisses, apologizing to her, and telling her how much he loved her.

“Do you forgive me?” He asked, and Hillary nodded.

“But please don’t do that again,” she added.

Bill smiled tenderly and leaned to kiss her. Hillary crawled up her hands sliding from his chest to circling around his neck. She tipped-toed so she could press her lips against him and Bill felt a delicious ache in his groin. He reached to untuck her shirt, his fingers feathering on her stomach making her muscles leap. She moaned in the back of her throat as his hands cupped her breast.

She felt hot, alive, and in love. It never felt so right to be in his arms she thought. The nagging thought that she was engaged to Richard had vanished in her mind. Her resolve to keep Bill and leave everything behind—even her life to be with him just grew stronger.

She needed him just as she needed air and water. She latched her mouth and Bill pressed his forehead against hers.

“I want you tonight, Hillary,” he whispered as if the words themselves were something that he had kept buried in his chest. He wanted to lay with her that night.

Hillary nodded, “I want you too.”

She took a step back and started to unbutton her blouse as Bill watched. He had unconsciously pulled back his lower lip with his teeth trying to keep himself from grabbing her.

Seeing her slowly strip for him made him hard and excited with anticipation. He clutched the sheets besides him, gripping them hard until his knuckles turned white.

Hillary watched as Bill’s face turned beet red, his chest rising and falling and his gaze, focused and hot on her. It pleased her to incite that kind of reaction from him. It made her feel like as if he belonged to her. When she stood naked in front of him, she heard Bill’s sharp intake of breath as he suddenly jerked her to him making her fall on him.

“You take my breath away,” he said before he swooped down to capture her lips with his. He flipped them over, with him on top of her. He caressed and kissed every part of her until Hillary was writhing underneath him, clawing his back. He pulled over his shirt, hurriedly took off his pants and underwear and the moment that their bodies touched Bill hissed at the contact.

“God, you are warm,” he whispered. She cradled him on the V of her legs feeling his shaft warm and hard against her thighs. She sighed and brushed his hair back.

“I love having you there,” She whispered laying her palms on his cheek brushing it with her thumb. Bill turned his face to kiss her palm, then she crawled her hand to cup the back of his head pulling him to her to finally get the craved kiss.

“What’s wrong?” She asked leaning to kiss his tears

Bill smiled through his tears and said, “I love you that’s what.”

Hillary smiled and embraced him, holding him to her, kissing his neck. She ran her fingers through the back of his head and stayed there until Bill stopped crying. “Stop crying, honey,” she whispered, then she felt Bill laugh.

“I’m a cry-baby when it comes to you,” he joked, making Hillary giggle. She felt her heart swell with how much she loved him. He was the only person who could arouse and make her laugh at the same time.

They made love that night with such passion that it did not match the first and second time they were together. For him, loving her was a consuming passion. It made him tear up to know that she was still his after all those years.  
She didn’t notice until she felt some wetness on her chest that he was in fact crying. She cradled his face and turned to it her.

“I love you,” she said before she pressed her lips against his.

When the resumed making love, they both felt lighter, and happier. Hillary even led him. She told him what to do, how she wanted it and asked if he liked what she was doing to him. It almost drove Bill crazy holding himself trying not to find the release that they both were longing for, because it was good, the night was still young, he wanted it to last long—longer if possible.

“Baby, I can’t hold it anymore,” Bill rasped holding her hips as Hillary languidly slid on him. She did it slowly as if savoring his length. Her head tipped up lost in her own pleasure. Her mouth parted, she released a sigh as Bill reached to rub his palms on the length of her body. From her neck to her stomach, then up again rubbing his palms on her pebbled nipples.

“Please,” he said, and Hillary nodded moving her hips faster, gyrating. Bill guided her, helping her to move faster but when she wasn’t moving fast enough, Bill flipped them.

“You are teasing me far longer, my love,” he said smiling attacking her neck making Hillary giggle, then her laughter turned to a moan when Bill started to thrust his hips finding his rhythm. He held her hips as he moved faster, driving her wild with want. Bill leaned to her and kissed her. He wanted to taste her moans when she would reach her orgasm, and after few solid strokes Hillary reached it. Her nails scratched his back as Bill hissed at the pleasure and pain, yet he continued and wouldn’t stop until he finally reached it, pouring himself inside her.

He felt his heart thunder in his chest. His love for her was complete.

He brushed his lips so lightly against hers and moved them again until Bill had her head lying on his chest. He could feel the rise and fall of her chest, her labored breath.

“I love you, Billy.” She whispered faintly until she fell asleep.

#####

Richard stood inside his library looking outside his bedroom, clutching his phone waiting for Hillary to call him. He called her many times, but her phone remained unanswered.

Hugh told him that they both Hillary and him were in his estate when he called and that they would be spending the night there because it was already late. Richard relented letting it pass, but there was something wrong, and Richard could feel it.

Usually, Hillary would call him and tell him about her whereabouts and about the things she was doing. For the past few days, he felt how she suddenly changed. He did not want to think about it, but the nagging thought came to him when his staff told him that his guest, Bill Clinton, was not in his bedroom.

It would be second time that Hillary and Bill were both not around. Although, both had different excuses, he could not help but be suspicious.  
They said Bill and Hillary were friends, but somehow, Richard felt that there was something more.

He sat on the couch, rubbing his lips with his finger, thinking. Maybe he needed to confront Hillary about his feelings to ensure himself that nothing changed, and she still was very much his.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you like the update. I am sorry it took me some time to finish. Anyway, I am always grateful for your encouragements and your responses. We are 3 chapters away and this fic is about to end. 
> 
> Forever thankful to J who taught me a lot in writing. You are awesome.


	16. Chapter 16

Bill woke up approximately five thirty in the morning. His arms and body aching from sleeping on his side all throughout the night and from hardly moving to keep Hillary from falling off from the bed, since the bed was designed to accommodate one person. But because the bed was narrow it allowed him to hold her. 

He pressed his nose on the back of her head inhaling her essence. His arms wrapped around her body, his hand cupped her breast not necessarily in a sexual way but to hold her in place. Her backside resting comfortably on his thighs. They slept in that spoon fashion all throughout the night and though the bedroom was small, and they probably would have an aching body later, it made Bill feel content.

He could live this way, he thought: a small confined room, with small bed, small rounded table, clean comfort room, and her. He smiled. He wondered why he even bothered to work his way to become a governor when he could have stayed and remained as stable master or him becoming a lawyer in a small firm or a professor? They could live like that, but he was going to become a governor and he would  make her his first lady. He might have not made her his queen but being his first lady was the closest.

She stirred and moved her hips, rubbing her backside against his morning wood. Bill groaned. They made love too many times  the night before , like as if the night itself wouldn’t end. He ran his hand to her stomach then down to her hips. 

He had been thinking about it : her getting pregnant.

It would fill him with joy knowing that maybe she was already pregnant.

The thought of her big and swelling with his baby made Bill hard so he moved his hand lower and draped her leg on his thigh, opening  her to him. Hillary stirred, but Bill cooed her. “Sleep,” he whispered.

His hand dipped to her core finding her still wet. He held himself, positioned his shaft against her entrance and slowly moved his hips forward entering her from behind. Hillary moaned  then Bill moved his hips back and forth languidly. He felt her  arch her back to give him easy access.

“Baby,” she breathed, Bill leaned to nip the flesh between her neck and shoulder, nibbling  it . Then he felt her  reaching behind her to touch the back of his head encouraging him. Bill’s hand gripped her hips biting into her skin. She turned her head over her shoulders and Bill caught her lips with his. He continued to thrust until his movements became jerky,  then reached forward to rub her pearl in sync with his thrusts. He finally felt her muscles  spasm , gripping him tight, and after few more strokes he felt her come. It was too strong and too good that Bill followed immediately filling her insides with his seed. He held her tight, boneless after their coupling for the last time. They would face reality later.

#####

_ Where are you? I’ve been calling you. _

Hillary looked at Richard’s message on her phone. He called her several times and she understood his worry. She didn’t want to feel guilty, but she did.

_ I’m sorry I slept early. I am at home. I will be back there in an hour. _

“Are you going back?”

Hillary turned, finding Bill sitting in a chair that was small for his frame. He was enjoying a brewed coffee. His toast untouched.

She blinked several times and  sat opposite to him. The small rounded table was Bill’s only furniture in  that room at the stables.

“I have to go back, Richard is looking for me.”

Bill exhaled and nodded. “What are you planning?”

Hillary looked at him. “I’ll break our engagement after the party tonight.”

_ Why not before the party? _ Bill thought but didn’t voice it out. He told himself to allow her to decide for herself. She said  that she needed time, he was going to give her that.

“Okay,” Bill said before reaching the cup of his brewed coffee and taking a sip, hoping to wash away the words that were playing on his tongue. He didn’t want to persuade or force her.

Hillary reached out to place her hand atop his. “Thanks,” she said.

Bill brought her out of the stables and before she could leave she  tiptoed and kissed him. “I’ll see you soon.”

Then she was gone.

#####

When Hillary went back to Richard’s estate she was filled with trepidation, because she was guilty of cheating on him. It made her miserable. 

When she responded to Richard that she would be back, she no longer heard from him. She did not like the feeling of being ignored but understood that he had every reason to be angry with her.

“Where is Richard?” She asked the passing servant when she arrived at his mansion.

“In his study, madam.”

Hillary nodded and made her way towards Richard’s study. She had been pondering if talking to him that time would be the best way for her to break up her engagement and not after the upcoming final party.

She stood in front of his oak door, took a deep breath and knocked, then she took the liberty to open it.

Her eyes adjusted to the dimness of the room and found Richard standing next to the window peering at the guests over the blinds. He did not turn as if he was expecting her to arrive.

“Richard,” she said.

He slowly turned, but when Hillary looked at him, she felt the sudden coldness of his treatment. She faltered but composed herself quickly before proceeding. She was near to him in few steps then tiptoed and kissed his cheek. Surprisingly he did not stop her.

“Where have you been?” He asked quietly.

“I slept in the estate.”

_ Liar _ .

He nodded.

For some reason, when her eyes met his, Hillary felt the hairs  stand up  at the back of her neck, like as if he could read her every thought.

“Why did you sleep there?”

“I… I took care of some final details for my parents’ arrival today.”

He nodded, then he leaned to kiss her. Hillary stiffened, surprised by his action, then he pulled back and smiled down at her a little sadly.

She looked up at him wondering what was on his mind, but he seemed not going to share either, he just wrapped his arms around her pulling her closer.

“I never said, ‘I love you’ enough, I guess,” he whispered, his breath teasing her hair.

She remained silent, when he pulled back he rubbed her arms, but how he looked at her made Hillary  feel ill.  _ He did not deserve being cheated on. _

“Richard…” she started, she bit her lower lip, and was about to say something but Richard cut her. “Whatever we need for tonight’s party is all prepared.” He said, walking her towards the couch, his hand on the small of her back. “Let’s sit here.”

Richard sat, while Hillary remained  still .

“I can’t Richard,” she said, her eyes started to gather tears.

Richard looked at her with a blank  expression on his face, then she repeated. “I can’t marry you.”

Hillary looked at him and saw his throat working, his eyes blank, but his taut jaw belied what he felt. “I don’t think you deserve someone like me.”

He nodded, but then he said, “It’s just a bride’s nerves, I guess. Take a rest—“

“No, Richard.”  She cut him off.

Richard stood taking her arm. “Why don’t you sleep, Sweetheart?”

“No, Richard, I can’t marry you!” She blurted, which stopped him.

He stilled, then she finally said it, “I am having an affair.”

Richard looked at her, and she continued. “Last night, it wasn’t just because I was preparing for my parents’ arrival it was because I was with the man I was having an affair with.”

She waited for her confession to sink in, when Richard looked at her, she saw the rage lurking behind his eyes. “Why?” He asked quietly,  trying to maintain the patience .

Hillary looked at him, then he continued, he spoke the words  seething . “What did I do to you to deserve this?”

“It’s not you, Richard.” She said her tears streaming down her face. “I’ve always been in love with someone else. I thought I  was over him, but I  was never over him.”

Richard tipped his head up, then he paced, then he paced angrily. His body taut, his  steps  heavy, then out of the blue he snapped, and reached the tumbler on his desk hauling it to the wall ahead of him.

The sound of the glass breaking made Hillary jump a little. Richard never showed anger before. She looked at him horrified, and there was a look in his eyes that terrified her.

“You,” he spat, “are not cancelling our engagement.” He said with finality.

He brushed his hair, took a deep breath, “We’ll proceed with the marriage.”

“Jesus, didn’t you hear—" she wanted to end everything but was soon cut by his words.

“You are not going to embarrass me!” He snapped as he took huge steps and tugged her arm.

“By God, this is not the first time that such affairs happened in my family!” He said bitingly, then he pulled her to him. “But you will not embarrass me!”

Her silence seemed to infuriate him.

“Who are you having an affair with?” He shouted, his face contorted with anger.

“He’s no one!” 

“Who the fuck is the man?”

She did not respond, but he finally understood who it was, “I know it’s Clinton.”

He released her arms. “I’ve seen how both of you looked at each other.”

He leaned on his table then propped his arms. “I  knew it.”

He exhaled and then looked at her with disgust. “We’ll get married, then we will live in London for the whole year. You’ll get over him eventually.”

“Richard, you don’t understand.”

He turned to her waiting for the words that he wanted her to say.

“I could be pregnant with his child.”

She saw the twitch of his jaw, then he said with finality, “Then I’ll take his child as mine.”

He headed to the door but before he could walk away he added with such gravity, “Fix yourself. We’ll announce our engagement. Say your promises tonight. We’ll forget this moment. We’ll start again.”

Hillary felt the heat of her tears, and when she thought that he was over with his threat, he turned and said: “If you leave me, I swear to God, I will ruin Bill Clinton’s name and his dreams to become a Governor.”

#####

Bill was not able to see Hillary when he returned to Richard’s estate. There was so much activity as they  were preparing for the final party where Richard and Hillary would  exchange each others’ vows. He was hoping to hear something from her, but his hope was null.

_ Maybe she is still sticking on her plan to end her engagement after the party _ , he thought, so he stayed behind wandering around the estate accompanying Paul until they reached the time when the party started.

Bill wore a tuxedo anticipating Hillary’s arrival. It took few minutes past the original start time when she arrived. Her hand on her father’s arm and her mother on her left.

She was beautiful as the night, he thought. She wore a studded purple gown, her hair braided. She was radiant, but her eyes…. Bill thought worriedly,  her eyes looked different, almost as if she was forlorn .

She kept her eyes forward, and she did not even  acknowledge him. In fact, when she reached the landing, and her father had given her to Richard, and passed by where Bill stood, she ignored him.

Her dismissal felt like a punch in his gut. He wanted to know what was wrong or if her ignoring him was part of her plan, but it bothered him.

He wanted to disregard the nagging thought that she could have changed her mind. He needed to talk to her before the night ended, before he returned to Arkansas. But opportunity evaded him. He did not have any chance to talk to her, and she did not give any indication that, she, too, wanted to reach him.

Bill sat at a rounded table along with other guests. Paul sat next to him. His body turned to the center where Hillary sat next to Richard who held her hand. They listened as their close friends and relatives wished them well.

Bill hated every minute of it.

Bill thought he could endure it, to see her participate in play-pretend that she was in love Richard. She smiled as Richard gave his vows, but when it was her turn, Bill felt that she had just delivered the final blow to kill him.

“I know,” she said, “that when I saw you again after few years, that you would play a significant role in my life.”  Her view blurred with the tears that were gathering in her eyes , “You pursued me, showed your patience even when I told you that I wasn’t ready. But you were steadfast. You put back the pieces in my heart until I knew I was ready to love again…”

Bill listened as she declared her love and devotion to him, but he couldn’t go on, it was killing him.

“I’ll go to the comfort room,” he whispered to Paul, who nodded. He stood and Hillary watched as he walked away from her. It killed her to say the words while he was there, but she had no choice.

“I…” she faltered, “I cannot wait to share more mornings and evenings with you. Thank you and I…I” she stammered.

Bill stopped, and turned to look at her, his eyes pleading not to say the words. He opened his lips to whisper to her ‘no’ and held her gaze.

She looked down on her hands, not having enough strength to keep it locked to his. She turned to Richard, “I… I love you.”  She said it swiftly as if the words were threatening her.

Bill closed his eyes and felt his own tears rolling down his cheek. It was over. She wouldn’t be his.

Whatever happened when she went back to the estate, something changed. Maybe she had a change of heart. Maybe she realized Richard’s worth, but he was done.

It was over.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 2 more chapters + epilogue. I hope you enjoyed the update. 
> 
> Forever thanking, J. You've always been so kind and patient.


	17. Chapter 17

Bill waited in the hallway to see Hillary. He knew she would pass by there if she wanted to use the comfort room, and true to his prediction, after an hour of staying in the corner he saw her approach. She was about to turn when he suddenly reached for her wrist and pulled her to the darkened corner.

“Bill!” She blurted feeling her heart leap.

Bill looked at her face in the darkness. “Are you okay?” He asked.

Hillary felt her heart plummet. _He was thinking of her as always._

She nodded, and he returned with a nod as an acknowledgment. He gently pulled her to him holding her, his chin propped on the crown of her head.

“I miss you.”

She couldn’t be with him, at least for now. She had a plan but her plan consisted of hurting him. It was risky but necessary for her to do it.

“Bill...” she breathed. She looked at his worried eyes and felt her heart broken.

Bill brushed her hair. “You are wonderful.” He leaned and kissed her forehead, but then stilled when she flattened her hands on his chest stopping him.

“What’s wrong?” Bill asked with furrowed brows.

She held his gaze, before she softly said, “I’m not breaking it off.”

Bill did not blink hoping to have heard wrong. He thought she did not mean what he thought he heard.

“I am sorry,” she said.

Bill shook his head, not understanding, “What? What do you mean you are not breaking it off?”

 _Because I want to protect you,_ she thought miserably. How many times did she do it when they were young? His position in her family’s estate was so important for her that she was willing to be punished for it.

“I’ve talked to Richard about our affair…” she said brokenly. “... and he was willing to forgive me for it-“

“He’s willing to forgive?” He asked in disbelief. “It’s not about him forgiving you, Hill. This is about us!”

“I’ve thought it through and what you said made sense. I’ve thought about it.”

“That what? That Richard is a better choice?”

“That I will learn to love him.”

Bill felt that she just slapped him, as she continued, “When we talked earlier I realized that Richard loves me, Bill—“

“Bullshit, Hillary! You don’t love him!” He blurted out.

“Bill it’s for the best.”

“Best?” Bill asked squinting at her. “Last night you were so crazy to keep our relationship. This is the last obstacle in our relationship, why are you giving up now?”

His question was met with silence then he pulled her by gripping her arms, “Please, darling, what is it?”

“I’ve thought it through. Richard is willing to forgive me, Bill. I think it’ll be the best for both of us if I marry him, just like what you said.”

Bill shook his head, “Hillary…” he slid his hands under her jaw. “Look at me…” he pleaded. “I know I’ve said those words, but…” he searched her face, “but after last night, I’ve realized how much I want us to be together.”

_I want us to be together too…_

“I’m sorry, Bill…” Hillary said feeling her throat burn as her eyes became blurred with unshed tears. “I’ve already made a decision.”

“How about me? Don’t you love me anymore?” He asked brokenly.

“Bill…” she said trying to pull away from him, her heart breaking. “I have to go.”

“Hilly…” Bill sobbed, he knew he was losing her. He closed the distance between them and embraced her. “You’re killing me right now, Hilly. What are you doing?”

Hillary placed her arms between them putting distance between their body. “Bill… please, let me go.”

“I can’t!” Tightening his hold.

“Bill, please,” she said feeling the heat of her tears rolling down her cheek.

“Hillary, please don’t leave me. Please. Did I do something wrong?”

“Bill, stop!” She said still struggling in his arms.

“I love you, please, stay.”

“I said stop!” She blurted, jerking herself away from him. “You...you better go! If you… If you don’t go, I’ll… I’ll have the guards take you out!” She threatened miserably.

She closed her eyes, turned around, and walked away from him not wanting him to figure out that what she did was hurting her too. She also had to walk away to keep the urge from telling him the truth and preventing herself from going to him.

Before she could finally leave she heard him say, “I’ll wait for you.”

Hillary turned to look at him and saw Bill’s working as if he was drinking. “Even if it takes forever, I’ll wait for you to come home to me.”

Then he turned and left.

Hillary went back to the party, sitting next to Richard in the center table as their families exchanged stories and enjoyed the dinner. She felt sick to her stomach that she said all of those words to Bill. She never wanted to hurt him but understood that it was necessary.

What she would do was risky, and she understood that she might not be able to undo whatever she was planning if she went through with her marriage. She didn’t want to think it through. There were few things that she needed to do first.

#####

Three weeks later, Arkansas

“Jesus, you really need to be careful with the liquor!” Hugh blurted out after finding Bill drunk inside his hotel room. He went to there to deliver the papers that Bill asked for his campaign.

Bill had developed a habit of drinking every night to fall asleep, something that he had never done before. Initially, Hugh thought that it was just a one-night thing. Until he noticed that every night Bill was drinking liquors until he fell asleep, then he would wake up and start working again with his campaign. Hugh also noticed that Bill was a different person at night, and he knew that it all started when he left Richard’s estate without winning Hillary back.

He understood that it was hard for Bill. He worked his way to build his dream around for Hillary, then all of it was for nothing. The man nearly lost his life in exchange to win the love of his life, Hillary, his sister.

However, Hillary still married Richard, despite everything. In fact, she married him immediately a week after and then flew to London, leaving a miserable heartbroken childhood sweetheart.

“I can’t…”

Hugh turned to look at Bill who was sprawled on the bed. Bill turned and groaned, and Hugh immediately went to him.

“Hey, easy, Bill.”

Bill looked up at him, and Hugh’s nose wrinkled by smelling the liquor on him.

“You need to relax.”

“I am relaxed…” Bill said his words slurred. He rolled out from the bed, slightly swayed but then he only reached for the bottle of gin that Hugh immediately took from his hand. Hugh reached for the nearby water and handed it to him.

Bill grimaced but then took a sip. “I am relaxed,” he said again after and then he took a deep breath, “relaxed but dying inside.”

Hugh looked at Bill’s back with his white shirt untucked and with a lot of creases.

Bill propped his hand on the sill of the window and took a deep breath again, “Everything fucking hurts.”

“You need to let go, Bill.”

Bill turned and glared at Hugh, his eyes bloodshot. He answered scathingly, “You don’t know what I feel.”

Hugh watched as Bill‘s eyes became glassy with tears. “You don’t know how much I love her, that I am willing to die for her. It’s so easy for you to say that, because you can’t feel what I am feeling.” He added bitingly.

Bill took another sip. “There are a lot of things that you don’t know. You don’t know much it hurts to think that the only person you love in your life is married to someone else, that every night someone else is holding her, loving her, you don’t know how it feels to wonder each night if she even carries your child and decides to keep it from you—that you don’t know what she is thinking, if there’s still a hope for you to be together again. You don’t know what I feel, Hugh.”

Bill pressed the heel of his hand against his eyes. “I would let go if I could, but I can’t. I still love her.”

“What are you planning?”

Bill turned to get a glass of water again. “I need to win the election.”

“Why?”

“So she will know that I am still waiting for her to come home.”

“Bill…”

“Please, leave me, Hugh. Please, allow me to be in pain.”

#####

**London, Night time**

Richard’s hands on his waist. He was still looking at the tops of his shoes, thinking. They finally had a confirmation of what he was fearing: Hillary’s pregnancy.

The pain shot through his heart when the doctor announced that he was going to be a father. He accepted it with a grim nod, because, in truth he knew he wasn’t the father.

He shut his eyes closed, thinking of Hillary’s betrayal. He was praying for her not to be pregnant so they could go back to what they had left off before Bill arrived in their life. He promised himself that he would overlook Hillary’s promiscuity and work on their marriage, but that would be impossible knowing that she was carrying a bastard. Bill Clinton’s bastard.

They immediately got married a week after the party, so they could settle and live in London. They slept separately, their honeymoon wasn’t even a honeymoon but a miserable night time sleeping alone. He couldn’t sleep with her because he needed a confirmation first that she was not pregnant before they could consummate the marriage. However, thinking about it, he couldn’t even look at her without being disgusted that she shared her body with a man who was her family’s stable boy. So, he stayed away and they both lived like any other aristocratic family: cold and loveless. He was hoping for them to be happy, but that already was unlikely to happen.

Hillary laid on her side on her bed, her hand cupping her small stomach. _She_ _was_ _pregnant_.

As elated as she was it was short lived. She felt so sorry for Richard who had to endure the awkwardness when the doctor congratulated him for being a father. She partly blamed herself for not being careful. She thought Richard would let her go when she told him that she betrayed him. But he didn’t. He insisted for them to marry because he didn’t want to be humiliated.

She should have anticipated it. Richard came from a proud family of aristocrats. Being dumped wouldn’t do him any favor. The society would see him as a weak man who couldn’t satisfy his wife.

When they got into their limousine to go back to their house in silence, Hillary had the urge to bring up the topic of the divorce, but she could see the tensed muscles of his jaw. Richard was angry and she didn’t blame him for feeling that way. But she needed to plan and act fast to get away from that mess.

She got out from the bed and went to the phone and called her brother.

Hillary had admitted to Hugh what was going on between her, Richard, and Bill before she got married. Although, Hugh did not act surprise, he castigated Hillary for being careless.

Hugh answered the call after second ring.

“Hugh.”

“Hill are you okay?”

“Yes, I am okay. How are you?”

“I am good. I am heading towards my office. What’s up?”

“I’m pregnant.”

“Oh, God.” Hugh said stopping on his tracks. “Does Richard know?”

She nodded before she said, “Yes, he was with me when we got the result.”

“I mean does he know that it is not his child?”

“Yes.”

“Did…” he hovered uneasily, “He did not hurt you, right?”

“No, he didn’t. He is not a violent man, but he is hurting. I really feel bad that I caused him so much pain.”

Hugh rubbed his temples. “I told you, Hillary—“

“Damn it, Hugh! I already feel bad! Don’t you make me regret what Bill and I have created.”

“Are you listening to yourself, Hillary?”

Hillary closed her eyes. “Please… Hugh, arguing with you is the last thing I want to.”

“Alright,” he relented, but then suddenly remembered his role and why Hillary and Bill were in that situation. He sighed and finally confessed, “There is something you have to know, Hill.”

Hillary suddenly stopped breathing.

“I knew where Bill was a few years earlier before you re-acquainted with Richard.”

The space between her brows wrinkled, “What do you mean?”

“Bill went to my office four years ago. He told me his plans to return to your life—“

“Hugh!” She blurted angrily immediately understanding why Bill arrived in Richard’s estate. “You knew where Bill was after all these years?”

“I am sorry, Hillary! Bill made me promise!”

Hillary felt her head spin, “What?”

“Bill knew where you are all those years, for four years, he knew everything about you, even knew when you and Richard became a couple. But he couldn’t come, not until he got elected. He wanted to win you back unless he already made a name for himself.”

Hillary reached for the nearest chair and sat. Bill knew where she was and what was happening in her life but he did choose not to pursue her because he wanted to be worthy of her before winning her back.

 _Oh, God, Bill why didn’t you let me know?_ She thought miserably. They could have been already together four years earlier if he had pursued her, but damn his pride.

It was already too late to think of the years they have lost. She had to move forward and at least win their future together. He told her that he would wait for her. He better stayed true to his promise, or else she would believe that they were not meant to be together.

#####

**Two years after, Bill’s 2nd year Anniversary as Governor in Arkansas**

Bill was still in his office drafting some letters, his staff left his office but he remained inside his room not done yet with the reading of letters and project proposals.

He pursued his lips when his eyes landed on Hugh’s letter. He was inviting Bill to come to their estate for his upcoming birthday.

It was two years that he left their estate. He wasn’t sure he was ready for it then glanced at contents of Hugh’s letter and placed it on the center of his desk to remind himself to respond to him early in the morning.

Bill laid back against the chair thinking about the events two years earlier when Hillary has left him. He no longer knew anything about her and in fact as he threw himself to work on his election, he has somehow forgotten to think about her.

He thought that the mere thought of her name would cause a reaction in his heart, like that drop of a stone in a still water: a ripple. But there was none. There would be just a dull ache when he thought about her name.

He sighed and pushed back the chair. It was already late, and he should go back home and take a sleep.

When Bill rode his chauffeured car, he couldn’t help but wonder where Hillary was, or if she was happy with Richard.

He said that she would learn to love him and, he thought, that maybe she did. Maybe overtime she learned to love Richard. Bill wanted to believe that: that someone worthy of her was loving her.

He nodded at the guard stationed outside his White House and smiled. It was huge. Fit for a Governor and a First Lady, except there was no First Lady.

“Hey, Buddy,” he said as his chocolate labrador went to him with wagging tail. He petted him before Bill picked up a beer in his fridge and brought it in his bedroom.

After he took a shower, then stood looking next to a rocking chair facing the window. Every night he did that, sit on the rocking chair looking outside. Every time he would arrive home, he sat there.

At first, he did that because he imagined that one day Hillary would arrive to come home to him. He wanted to see her arrive, to be there to welcome her home. But the night became nights and she did not yet arrive.

As he stood there looking at the chair, he wondered: was he still sitting because he was hoping that she would come home to him? Or it just become a habit?

Before Bill could find an answer, he sat and stared outside. He took a sip of the beer that he brought then his eyes landed on the wound that he had inscribed years before. He looked at it and could still vividly remember the day he had inscribed it on his skin and then on her skin.

Hillary, he thought, was the only person he ever loved. Maybe it was because of the fact that he couldn’t find anyone to replace her. He tried to date someone else but he would find himself getting bored eventually. He decided to be focused on his career and it paid off with a high satisfaction record, he got elected for two consecutive years.

There were times that he wondered if he would ever marry. When he won for Governor, people asked him who would be his First Lady but he avoided the question and teased them that it was something they all must wait and see. But to be honest, Bill was no longer very hopeful in finding someone else. If someone came, he would be happy, if he ended up alone, he would be happy as well.

Bill turned his head when Buddy sat next to his rocking chair and Bill reached to rub his head while thinking about his question. Did he lose the pleasure in finding someone else because he was still hoping for her?

Bill closed his eyes and replayed the days inside his head to when they were children and how she whispered, _“I will always be forever yours, Billy.”_ To how she was desperate for him not to leave her when they were in the stables, and when she threatened him the last time with, “If you don’t leave, I will have the guards take you out.”

Bill tipped his head feeling the heat of his tears as they suddenly escaped his eyes thinking of how things changed, but in spite of that... He still loved the girl who gave him private performance replicating the dance in theater their family had seen, the girl who would climb down from her bedroom to be with him when he was sick, and who would always wait for him under their tree so they could watch the sunset together. 

He knew his answer. He was still sitting there because he was waiting for her to come home to him just as he promised the last time when she decided to leave him.

#####

**Morning, Next Day**

Bill arrived in his office later than usual. He did not expect to wake up late, but he forgot to turn on his alarm clock hence he ended up waking up late. His morning started in frenzy as he tried to save all his missed meetings by rescheduling them. He was so taken by his meetings that he ended up missing his lunch and was only able to breathe when his last meeting in town ended by three in the afternoon.

He arrived in his office past four. He was a total mess: his tie loosened, the sleeves of his shirt folded until it reached below his elbow, his hair a little in disarray because of the number of times that he had brushed them with his fingers. It was crazy but it made his blood pumping, and his mind occupied.

He went directly to his private room when his staff told him that Hugh Rodham was waiting for him outside.

Bill turned to the staff. “Tell him to come back tomorrow. I am busy.”

“Hugh said that he will not be leaving until he talks to you and he has been waiting since the morning.”

Bill sighed and relented. He would rather face Hugh than have him wait for him. He went outside and found him standing in the guest room waiting for him.

“There must be something so important that you need to say since you’ve waited all morning.”

“Billy.” Hugh greeted, meeting him half way and reaching for his hand.

Bill returned the greeting and shook his hand.

“To be honest, I did not actually stay here, I was traveling back and forth. How are you?”

Bill rolled his eyes, “I am fine. Cut the crap, what are you doing here?”

“Aren’t you glad to see me?” Hugh asked teasing.

“Of course, I am.”

“I sent you a letter but you did not respond.”

“I was supposed to respond today, but I got caught up with my work. I am sorry about that. Did you come for my response?”

“I have something important to tell you, but I think you are too busy right now. Can you meet me tonight at the Henry’s? 7:00 PM? I believe they have a great steak there.”

Bill chuckled. “Make sure that whatever you are going to say is so damn important that you couldn’t wait to for me, that you traveled all the way here.”

Hugh smiled as Bill’s laughter subsided. He wanted to ask how Hillary was, but didn’t do so. “I’ll see you later, Hugh. It’s nice seeing you.”

“See you later.”

#####

“I have reservation for Hugh Rodham.” Bill said later that night when he arrived at the Henry’s exactly at seven. Henry’s was one of the exclusive restaurants in Little Rock. It was quaint and played good jazz. For the venue alone, Bill wore a starchy white buttoned down long sleeves and a classic black trousers and black shoes.

He followed the maître d’ in the puzzle of the tables as he brought him where Hugh was sitting. Initially, he thought the maître d’ was mistaken because as the maître d’ approached one table, the lone sitter there was definitely not Hugh.

“Reservation for Hugh Rodham,” the maître d’ announced.

Bill stared at the back of the head of the woman, but before she even turned, Bill already knew who it was, just as exactly how his heart started to beat again after being long dead.

“Bill,” She said as she stood and turned to face him.

“Hillary.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update. I was down with flu and had exams to take care of, but I hope you like the update. We only have 1 chapter left before epilogue. I am thinking if it's necessary to add an additional scene though. Let's see. 
> 
> I am grateful for J for always being so accommodating and patient enough to teach me about my weakness in grammar.


	18. Chapter 18

“Hillary” he said her name like he was holding his breath.

He stared at her like as if he was seeing a ghost, that he couldn’t believe she was standing there before him.

“Please, take a seat.” She said not leaving her eyes off of him.

Hillary was nervous about the meeting: first, she knew that lying to him about meeting Hugh instead of her would anger him further; second, her going back to his life.

She wasn’t exactly sure how he would receive her considering that he might have moved on already. 

When Hugh arrived back to her hotel to tell her that he arranged the meeting, she asked if Bill asked of her but Hugh shook his head. She did not blame Bill if he moved on, but she knew she had to try since her marriage to Richard was finally over.

It took a while for Richard to agree but the misery was overwhelming him. When Richard met Pauline at a party and seemed to enjoy each other’s company, Hillary took the opportunity to bring up their divorce, which Richard agreed to grant.

But informing Bill of her divorce might do little to alleviate his anger when he found out that he had a son and she deprived him of being a father for two years.

She wasn’t exactly sure how the meeting would end. In fact, she wasn’t expecting at all, she was just hoping that he wouldn’t be so angry with her that he would tell her to see him in the court for custody of their child.

Thinking about it made Hillary remember how she had to juggle everything when she was pregnant. She was so grateful that her family was supportive despite of the truth of her son’s biological father.

Hillary had given birth to a healthy boy, William Jefferson taking the name of his father. She could still remember how she held their son in the hospital while watching the CNN International - about Bill’s election. She could only tearfully smile knowing that Bill won and his dream of becoming a Governor came true, and she was carrying their son that he did not know existed.

“Look at your daddy, William,” she whispered against her son’s ears while nursing him against her chest.

Hillary did not inform Bill of her pregnancy nor the information came out that it was his because she did not want their scandal to smear his good name. But Hillary knew everything that happened to him - she was just praying for her divorce to be finalized soon so she could win him back.

Bill sat opposite to Hillary in a square table. It was awkward as hell like any other first date. He paused, realizing that it was exactly their first date; they never went out together in public, not even in any cheap restaurant.

There were things that he wanted to ask but then he found himself speechless. To begin with, Bill was surprised to see Hillary. He was supposed to meet Hugh. He wondered if Hugh would arrive … or Richard might arrive.

“Is Richard arriving?” He asked.

Hillary looked at him, but before she could answer the waitress arrived and asked: “Ready to order?”

Bill and Hillary looked at the waitress. He turned to Hillary, “What are you having?”

Hillary shrugged, “Just wine.”

Bill grimaced, “I’ll have rib-eye steak. Two Chardonnays.”

When the waitress left them, Hillary responded, “Richard is not coming.”

“Hugh?”

“No.”

Bill peered at her over his goblet of water, Hillary held her gaze. “I know you were expecting Hugh, but I arranged the meeting because I wanted to talk to you.”

She was met with silence.

Bill did not respond and waited until they both turned to the waitress who gave them their order. “I’ll have another steak.” Bill added.

Hillary looked at him confused but waited for the waiter to leave them before Bill responded. “Whatever it is that you want to talk to me about, let’s do it somewhere else, let’s have a light conversation over dinner.”

Hillary heaved a sigh of relief. “You should go ahead and eat.”

Bill didn’t blink when he said: “I’ll wait for you.”

Hillary stilled on the double meaning of his response. It felt like a reminder of his statement before they parted. She suddenly wondered if he was still waiting for her.

“Why can’t you look at me, Hillary?”

Hillary looked at him, surprised, then Bill added: “You are trying to avoid my gaze.”

She gave a nervous chuckle, but then she tried to look at him, and realized how things had changed. His hair grayer, he had more premature white hair, there were crow’s feet besides his eyes, but he was still as handsome as she could remember. Curiously, her eyes went to his hands and saw that  they were  still free of any rings.

She smiled a little, it did not escape Bill. He saw how her eyes landed on his hands and probably looked for any indication that he was committed to someone. Other than that, Bill observed how Hillary had changed after two years, she had grown her hair falling just above her shoulder then curling on the inside and a blowout bang. She was magnificent and beautiful that he just couldn’t keep his eyes off her. But then he wondered why she went all the way to Arkansas to see him.

“I can take you around the city, so we can talk,” Bill said.

She nodded, then the waitress followed handing them her dinner.

“Thanks,” Bill said, and he motioned for Hillary’s meal.

They ate in silence for a while not knowing what to say to each other, but the table was not big enough to provide them space that their legs almost touched. Or at least maybe because Bill was tall that his legs were nearly touching hers.

“They have the greatest steak here. I cannot let you pass that one.”

Hillary smiled taking a slice of her meat. “When did you arrive here?” She heard him ask.

“Just last night.”

Bill nodded, so she really went here for him? “How long will you be staying?”

Hillary seemed to think about it before she responded, “That depends.”

Bill’s eyes narrowed at her as he took a sip of his wine, “Do you have any more business here?”

“I  came here for you.”

Bill stilled, looked at her and Hillary returned his gaze boldly this time. There were questions running inside his head, but he kept them knowing fully well that if they  talked  anything personal in public place the information might most likely leak.

Hillary felt her heart sinking. Bill did not comment on what she said, he just looked at her then continued to eat in silence. She felt someone just punched her, Bill no longer cared about her. The anxiety that he would feel differently in the meeting kicked in. She just prayed to God that he wouldn’t be worse to deal with.

When they were done eating, Bill invited her around the city, so they could talk, which Hillary agreed to. Bill took the coat for her then draped it over her shoulder. The slight touch of the back of his fingers on her arm caused her to shiver. Bill caught her reaction but she masked it by suddenly moving away from him. He followed behind while watching her walk ahead of him. They waited in silence for Bill’s car. He casually greeted some people and to her surprise, instead of pretending that he wasn’t with her to avoid gossip, he placed his hand on the small of her back including her in the circle. Bill introduced Hillary to some of the people who stopped by until his car arrived.

“Chauffeured car” Hillary mused.

Bill looked at her, and grimly responded: “I know. I am not really used to it yet, but I cannot drive while serving as Governor, it’s for protection.”

Hillary nodded, understanding it. They both entered the car and kept a safe distance.

“Where to, Guv?” The chauffeur asked.

“Just drive around the city, Garrett.”

“Yes, sir.”

Bill then pressed something on his side and a sound proof partition rolled up giving him and Hillary privacy. They both looked ahead for a while and Bill broke the silence by saying, “I am sorry for the lack of response earlier. I just learned that talking anything about personal life in public is not a good idea, someone is always listening.”

Hillary nodded, then he proceeded, “Why are you looking for me?”

Hillary slowly turned to him.  _ Was he not looking forward to seeing her? _ She wondered.  _ Does he no longer care? _ She looked down on her hand and said, “I  came here to explain few things…”

That got Bill’s attention. She looked at his face, at his eyes hoping to see any hint that he still cared. “When I went back to Richard’s estate,  I had every intention to end our engagement.”

Bill turned his head and looked straight ahead, remembering that moment. He was wondering what was the point of all of  this when she still wouldn’t be his? A closure?

“But Richard was very adamant to keep the relationship because he didn’t want to be embarrassed.”

Bill looked back at her. “I swear I wanted to end our relationship. I told him I  couldn’t proceed to marry him…but he threatened to ruin you if I  left and  embarrassed him.”

“And you let him?” He snapped.

“Let him what?”

“Let him get what he wanted.”

“I know Richard. He’s very powerful, Bill...I know what he is capable of—“

“So you thought to proceed with the marriage? And that was your solution?” He asked in disbelief.

“I  didn’t want him to hurt you!” She blurted out.

“Well you could have told me what you  were planning!” He chided.

“Like what you did when you knew all along what was going on in my life?” She retorted.

Bill gaped at her, understanding that she knew that he was aware of her life before he went to attend her engagement with Richard. He sighed and said: “I assumed Hugh  would tell you that.”

Hillary turned to look outside, “It doesn’t matter. What happened has already happened.”

Bill looked down on his hands, thinking of the truth of what she said: what happened has already happened and it was pointless to argue.

“Why did you do it?” He suddenly found himself asking that question.

“Why?” She echoed thinking that it should have been obvious already.

Bill turned to look at her and saw her lower lips quiver before she bit it, “I love you, Bill, that’s why.”

Initially, Hillary thought that her response to him would be met with cold silence. She felt so certain about it, so she turned to look at her lap, but then she suddenly saw Bill’s hand reached to place atop hers. She turned to look at him, and Bill scooted, closing the distance between them. She could feel the heat of Bill’s body beside hers.

“Can you say that again?” He whispered, the heat of his breath touched her neck.

“I love you. All your life you worked on your way to get there, I didn’t want anyone to take it from you.”

Bill closed his eyes remembering how protective she was about him. She would take whatever mischief he would do just to make sure that he wouldn’t be kicked out from his position. It all made sense, but she misunderstood what he  _ really  _ wanted.

He reached to rub her cheek. “Darling,” he whispered, “it’s you that I wanted.”

Hillary looked at him, she opened her mouth to say something, as he continued, “Why didn’t you tell me, Hill?” He brought her hand and rubbed it against his lips, “I could have done something, now it’s pointless.”

Hillary pulled back, “Why?”

Bill looked at her, his brows furrowed in confusion, then he turned to look at her hand and saw the absence of her ring. Hillary looked at where he was looking at, then she immediately said, “Bill are you thinking…?”

Bill just looked at her. Hillary smiled a little. “I am already divorced—“

Bill crushed her body to his holding her. “Oh, God!” He cried. “I thought I lost you!” He said, he kissed her and then started to rain her face with kisses while holding her close.

“When did it get finalized?” He asked after a while.

“Just a week ago. I immediately flew here so I  could win you back.”

“Oh, Darling. You never lost me to begin with,” Bill said, when he leaned to kiss her, Hillary placed her hands against his chest stopping him.

“There’s something else,” Hillary added.

Bill looked at her face and placed his hand against her cheek, “Tell me.”

“You have a son.”

#####

Bill stared at her, dumbfounded. He only moved when Hillary touched his hand that was cradling her face.

“Hill…” he breathed, but then he choked.  _ He has a son! _ “How…?” He asked. He felt his throat closing in. He has a son! He thought brokenly. He did not even know.

“Stop!” He blurted. He clicked the button on his side and told his driver to stop. When the car stopped, Bill went out to take a breath.

Hillary followed. “I am so sorry!” She said frantically. She knew that when he  found out that he had a son, he would take it differently. And she was correct.

She went to touch him, but Bill flinched. “You kept that information from me?” He asked in disbelief.

“Bill, I cannot come barging into your life informing you that you have a son when my divorce is not yet final. Besides, it will derail—“

“Stop!” He snapped, and Hillary stopped and looked at him. “You deprived me of being a father for two years, then you would come to me and tell me that?”

“Would you prefer that I didn’t?”

Bill tipped his head up looking at the dark horizon of the sky. He felt that his life was spinning out of control - there were too many surprises.

He pressed his hands against his eyes, feeling his heart broken. He had a son that he did not know  of , a child that grew for two years without a father.

He looked back at Hillary and said, “We cannot continue doing this, Hillary.”

Hillary waited for him to continue, and Bill added: “Solving problems on our own is not doing us any good. I realized this when I lost you, then you did it too to save my dream of becoming a Governor. We cannot  test the  fate by doing something so risky.”

He placed his hands on his waist thinking. His silence unnerved Hillary, but she no longer wanted any distance or misunderstandings between them. She approached him, and solemnly said: “I’m sorry. I know you are angry—“

Bill looked down at her. “I am far from angry. Annoyed, yes. But you and my son are here, that’s all that matters now.”

“What are you thinking then?”

Bill wrinkled his brows. “Shouldn’t be obvious?” he said, “I am thinking of the fastest way we can marry.”

Hillary’s eyes widened, “Marry?!”

Bill’s jaw hardened, “I am not asking for permission, Hillary. I am not going to let you go again this time.”

Hillary smiled at his possessiveness and by his misunderstanding of her outburst, “I won’t let you, let me go.”

Bill returned the smile and pressed a kiss on her forehead. “Can I meet him right now?”

Hillary nodded. “I have been waiting for you to meet him ever since.”

#####

When they went back to Hillary’s office, Bill was nervous. He didn’t know anything about being a father, but he knew he needed to try, besides that, he did not know what to expect considering that his son never knew anything about him - in his son’s eyes, Bill was a stranger.

Hillary held his hand as she brought him to her suite. While they were nearing, Bill’s heart was thundering in his chest.

When they entered her suite, Bill found Hugh and his wife babysitting for Hillary.

“Oh, good, you have arrived.” Hugh said, then reached to shake Bill’s hand when Bill stood next to Hillary. “I see that you guys had patched things together.”

Hillary smiled, “It took us a long time. But we’re together and Bill wanted to meet William.”

Bill turned to Hillary, his eyes softened. “Alright,” Hugh said, “But before I allow Bill to come near my nephew, I’d like a word with him.”

Bill nodded.

Bill and Hugh went to the viewing deck on the rooftop of the hotel and stood there looking at the passing cars and city light. “I can still vividly remember when we talked inside my car decades ago and I told you that you need to be worthy of Hillary.”

Bill did not react but moved to slide his hands inside his pockets.

“We’ve come a long way, Bill. It took you and Hillary decades to be together. I’ve been there when you both fell in love, argued, separated, and now back together again. I hope you both don’t waste what you have right now. I know Hillary and William coming to your life is like opening a floodgate of hell. I am sure that tomorrow or the day after people would ask for William’s background, and people will find out your story, and his story. People will accuse—most especially Hillary—for your affair. I hope you do your best to protect them.”

Bill turned to look at Hugh’s profile and nodded. “You said it yourself, Hugh. We’ve come a long way. I won’t let anyone hurt my family.”

Hugh turned to look at him. “I always knew you and my sister were meant to be together. Welcome to the family.” He said extending his hand, but instead of shaking it, Bill pulled Hugh for embrace.

“Thank you so much you, Hugh. You’ve done so much for both of us.”

When he went back to Hillary’s bedroom, he found her standing next to a crib. He stood behind her and placed his hands on either side of her waist. He looked down at the face of his son who was sleeping soundly. His cherub son, he thought amusedly. His son was already two years old, his hair thick, blonde and curling on the end. His cheeks red and soft. Both of his arms stretched. He looked so innocent and beautiful that Bill immediately fell in love with him.

He leaned to kiss the curve of Hillary’s shoulder.

“He’s beautiful,” he whispered.

Hillary turned and encircled her arms around his neck, “Like his father,” she teased, and Bill leaned to touch his nose against hers.

“I guess you got what you wished for after all.”

“What?”

“Your wish when you celebrated your birthday back when you were 18th?”

She wrinkled her face thinking, then suddenly remembered that night, when she got angry with him for kissing someone in the market, and him bringing her a lemon square to celebrate her birthday.

She giggled, “To become your wife.”

Bill nodded, smiling while kissing her.

“I knew that you  were meant to be mine.”

They both turned when they both heard William make an agitating sound. Hillary unclasped her arms from around Bill’s neck and went to check their son who was already awake and started to call her, “Mama!” Hillary carried him.

“Mama’s here,” she said rocking him. She pressed a kiss on her son’s cheek. “Look who’s here, William.” She said.

William turned to look at Bill blankly. “I want you to meet someone, Will.”

Bill felt a little awkward standing there, not knowing what to do, but Hillary encouraged him. “William, I want you to meet your father, Bill.”

Bill took a step and Hillary leaned towards him to hand their son to him, but William clung to her and turned his head away from Bill.

Hillary looked at Bill uncertainly, “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.” But Bill felt as if someone just knocked the air off him. He was indeed a stranger to his son’s eyes

“It will take time,” Hillary said apologetically.

He nodded. They sat on the bed with William playing with his stuffed toys. Bill was scanning the pictures that Hillary gave him.

It tore him apart to see Hillary in the hospital nursing their son while she was watching Bill on the television when he got elected.

He thought that he would rather be with her than get elected. 

Then he looked at the next picture with William’s walking. He was standing next to a couch holding onto it with a big smile on his face like as if he was so happy about his achievement. Bill’s eyes blurred with tears as how he hated that he wasn’t able to be around them—his family.

“Mama, milk!” William said, taking Bill’s attention. He saw William coming to Hillary clutching her shirt.

“Darling,” Hillary cooed, holding, then carrying him.

For some reason, she suddenly felt awkward with Bill around, but she had to feed William. She unbuttoned her shirt and unclasped the front clasp of her brassiere and started to breastfeed her son.

Bill watched Hillary nursing their son. He observed the sudden changes on her body; her hips wider, her nipples darker and her breast heavy. She even gained few pounds. Motherhood changed her, and Bill thought as a sweet realization blossomed in his chest that Hillary endured it all to bring their son.

He loved everything about it. About her.

He loved the way she looked down at William and lovingly smiled at him. She, being the mother of his son, and soon his wife carried the role so perfectly.

And her new role, turned him on.

He joined them and stood in front of her with their son in between them. He leaned kissed his head, then Bill leaned to kiss her forehead while holding William’s head.

“Thank you for our son,” he said.

When William fell asleep, Bill carried him back to his crib as Hillary cleaned up.

“All done!” Hillary gleefully said, Bill smiled tenderly then went to her, slid his hands under her jaw and kissed her.

Hillary fed the hunger that he felt, slid her hands from his chest to wrap her arms around his neck. It was then that Hillary felt his necklace, her fingers traced the gold chain then suddenly saw the locket that she had given him decades ago.

Hillary looked up at him, “You kept this?” She asked looking at her black and white picture.

He nodded and leaned to kiss her palm where his initials were inscribed, “So the other girls would know that you were and still are my girl.”

Hillary bit her lower lip and embraced him. “Oh, God, Bill.”

He rubbed his lips on against her forehead as he said their vows, “Forever mine, forever thine,”

Hillary pulled back, smiling at him. “Forever ours,” she whispered.

Bill’s lips hovered above hers, before he closed the gap between their lips he whispered, “Forever yours.”

They made love that night rekindling the love that never wavered in spite of time and distance. He held her close to him preparing for the tomorrow that he knew would be unkind, but they had been through the worst and believed that they could withstand whatever would come their way.

He smiled and kissed the back of her head. He was ready. Whatever happened he knew that nothing else would separate them. Time had proven that, and time again will prove it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, this is probably the longest chapter that I have written. Honestly, I almost chopped this and end up with an additional chapter. But I don't want to extend, so I squished the scenes and I hope it's okay.
> 
> Thank you and I hope your thoughts! :)
> 
> To J, who always never fails to help me, you are awesome.


	19. Epilogue

**Rodham Estates, Ten Years After**

“Bill,” Hillary warned, feeling Bill’s hand hiked up under her dress.

Bill chuckled against her neck. They were resting near their beloved oak tree just a few meters away from their sleeping children, William and Chelsea.

“The children?” She asked, Bill looked behind him and saw their children fast asleep next to the tree trunk. Besides them, Buddy, his dog, was sleeping too.

“They are asleep,” he whispered propping his head on his hand laying on his side as he used his other hand to brush her hair away from her face.

Who would have thought that they would go that far? When Hillary went back to his life ten years ago, they faced different challenges and criticisms of their relationship. The people were mostly critical of Hillary knowing that she cheated on Richard and conceived William in the process. People badgered Richard to speak about the issue, but he was a very proud man and insisted to keep his distance on the scandal, but he wished Bill and Hillary the best as he lived a new life with his second wife, Pauline.

Bill, being the best diplomat that he was, went to Richard’s home when he went to London. He apologized to him which Richard had accepted.

“I am a pragmatic man, Mr. Clinton, and I always believe that things happened for a reason. I think I wasn’t really meant to be with Diane. If I stayed with her, I wouldn’t meet my wife, Pauline.”

Bill and Richard had a civil relationship, and Bill nurtured that relationship that when he ran for Presidency, Richard gave his support.

In spite of how Bill and Richard reconciled, people still tried to take Bill down, but he persisted and won over his criticism because of his performance as a public servant. It wasn’t easy, but he was able to overcome them and won the Presidency.

He leaned and brushed his lips on Hillary’s forehead. She smiled feeling the warm of summer on her face, but more than that, she felt the warmth of Bill’s love. He loved her more than she could imagine.

He feathered his hand on top of her stomach, and Hillary giggled. “You are incorrigible,” she chided. Bill chuckled then moved to lay on his back then positioned her so she could lay her head on his chest. Her arms around him.

He moved his hand and cupped her rear that made Hillary yelp. “We are outside, Billy!” She said with a hint of her voice.

Bill tipped his chin down, chuckling, “I can’t help it. My, God, you tempt me so much, my love.”

Hillary smiled and kissed his chest.

“It’s too bad that I never made love to you here.”

Hillary furrowed her eyebrows, “You thought of that?”

Bill smiled. “I imagine making love to you anywhere,” he saw her eyes widened and a blush crept on her cheeks, “but,” he added, “this place, but this place here is the most important place for me. I imagined making love to you in this special place.”

“Too bad we cannot do that, honey.”

Bill heaved a sigh, then Hillary peered at their kids briefly and saw that they were comfortably and securely asleep, their head on the pillow that Bill bought that was reclining on the crook of the trunk. It was as if the tree itself was cradling them. She could not imagine that one day they would be a family. When Bill left, she thought that it would be impossible for them to be together again. But there he was, her husband, and the father of her children. She was so glad to be growing old with her best friend and her first love.

“Shouldn’t we go inside?” Hillary asked pertaining to the mansion.

“I was thinking of staying here in our place, until the sun sets.”

Hillary smiled and rubbed her cheek on his chest. “Like the good old times?”

Bill played with her hair, “like the good old times, precisely. It’s where I fell in love with you.”

Hillary looked at him and Bill reached to rub the back of his finger on her cheek. “When we stay here, I always watch the sunset on your face. I always thought that you are magnificent with your curly hair and thick glasses. I watched you tipped your head back and feel the sunset on your face and you always hold my hand. How can I not fall in love with you, Darlin’?”

“Billy—“ she said, feeling a pleasurable ache in her chest. She climbed on his chest and kissed him. Bill rolled them over, hungrily kissing her as the wind blew from the west slightly ruffing their hairs. She cradled him on the V of her thighs. Bill ran his hand on her legs and Hillary shivered feeling the roughness of his palms.

Oh, she loved him. She loved him so much.

“Sir—“

Bill looked up and his Secret Service was standing a few meters away from them. “We have audience—your six o’clock.”

Hillary smiled and Bill looked down at her. “Well, I guess, we’ll have to continue somewhere else. Not in here.”

Hillary opened her mouth to say something but then heard Chelsea, their five year old daughter, groaned. Bill got up and he helped Hillary. Hillary went to their children and carried Chelsea while Bill picked up William. They walked back hand on hand going back to her family’s mansion.

Bill looked down at Hillary who looked back at him going as they both carried their children. Both of them thinking how surreal it was that after all the things they went through they reached that point: married, happy, and content.

The life they chose was not easy. In fact, they still faced criticism every now and then, but they always prevailed. They protected their children at all cost and answered questions thrown at them with tenacity. They still fought, sometimes, and they fought with such passion that they would end up not talking to each other. But whatever happened inside their relationship they just keep it within the four corners of their room. It would take time, but one of them would eventually compromise.

Bill, usually, would be the first one to take the step. He couldn’t think of Hillary hating him or leaving him. He learned that swallowing his pride was better than lose her.

One time Hillary got angry with him that although they slept on the same bed, she turned her back at him. Initially, Bill did not mind, that, he, too, could withstand silence. But he knew he was wrong, so he scooted and wrapped his arms around her.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered.

He made her cry, and she also made him cry. But in the end, their heart would find their way back to each other.

That night just before midnight, before Hillary’s birthday, Bill woke her up with a kiss.

“Happy Birthday, Baby,” he whispered against her cheek

Hillary smiled while her eyes were still closed. Bill looked at their children and saw William and Chelsea fast asleep.

“Thank you, Honey,” Hillary responded. She opened her eyes and saw Bill wearing a leather jacket.

“Where’ve you been?” She asked whispering making sure not to wake up their children.

Bill extended his hand, “come here.”

Hillary got out of them bed, and she watched as Bill pulled out a … lemon square cake inside his pocket.

Hillary suddenly remembered her 18th birthday. Bill pulled her close after lighting the single candle in the middle of the cake. “Happy birthday, my love. Make a wish.”

Hillary looked at him, her eyes blurred as her tears collected on them. She couldn’t ask anything for more she thought.

“Have you wished?” He asked smiling at her.

“It already came true.” She responded after she blew the candle and embraced him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello friends, thank you for the past few stories that we shared together. But to say, this **might** be the last time that I will be writing. Or maybe I'll be on hiatus. I don't know, but for now, I'll just take a break. :)
> 
> Thank you so much for everything. I've learned from a lot of people here who told me of my weakness and my strengths. I've also gained a lot of friends and some haters. hahaha! but all in all the experience is wonderful.
> 
> Sorry for the late update. i love you all.
> 
> Special thanks to J's and L's friendship and guidance.


End file.
